『 cravity imagines 』

stars he created - koo jungmo [angst]

[ one-shot, star tears au, 1k words]

jungmo had always loved the stars. never did it occur to him that he'll be catching stars. stars that he created—found in someone's eyes because of his inability to reciprocate their feelings.

there are three levels of star tears disease.

first, the acute one with just tiny stars falling occasionally. stellar mingles perfectly with the tears that it gives no actual pain. the jingling sound soft and relaxing.

second level gives way to larger stars of different colors. few sharp sides would draw out blood. it would happen a few times a week. this is also the stage where one fails to see colors properly. the color becoming duller each level.

the third one, the worst, occurs every evening. blue stars outnumbering the other, making hot and prickly stars burn and scratch the eyes and cheeks. the sound would still be soft for the others around, but it resonates rather too loudly for your ears, echoing in such a horrying symphony.

the final stage also leads people to their inability to see pigments. their world turning black and white... and some even experience a pitch-black world.

there was no known cure for star tears disease, aside from having love reciprocated.

and you were on the third stage.

"that guy's an idiot for having such a sweet girl's feelings wasted!" he sighed, frustrated as he rubbed circles on your back. trying to comfort you. as if that was what you needed.

it was one of the nights he had called your phone and got no response so he ended up rushing in your dorm in such a panic. he found you in your room with dim lights highlighting your small figure curved in a corner. there were stars surrounding you, no longer glimmering in vibrancy. stars would leave your eyes with such vivid and glittering color, but once it touches the ground the color disappears.

jungmo found himself sitting beside you, arms carefully wrapped on your figure.

you know this stupid stellar show will not stop unless your love is reciprocated and jungmo seemed to miss that fact. jungmo overlooked your feelings.

his lips spoke of a sweet language, poisonous to your heart. it let out of fondness that chewed your stomach with envy. his mind always occupied thinking of someone else and how to get her to love him back. his heart had so much room to love her and little to no space to give you such kind of love.

his starry eyes that glimmered whenever he talked about her had brought stars to your own. his cosmos, perfect and beautiful. while yours was already on the verge of complete destruction, ascending to the ground every evening.

you fell on that friendly zone which was cruel and sickening.

you were jungmo's best friend. someone who would listen to his stories during sunny days, someone who would console him during heavy downpours, someone who would root for him during blossoms.

a question never left your mind.

i've been always here for you and i'll always will, so why not me?

"jungmo," you called, your heart contracting in anxiousness. "i want to continue seeing colors. i want to see the world. i don't want to go blind."

it flowed out of your lips like a practiced monologue. each word trickling with fear.

jungmo's embrace became tighter, trying so hard to collect you. to collect the pieces of a person he subconsciously shattered.

"no, no, it will not happen," jungmo reassured, detaching himself for a bit to wipe your tears. the worry found on his countenance devouring you, giving more ache than comfort. "you'll not go blind, okay? i'll talk to that guy. maybe once he knew about it, about your condition something good will happen."

you doubted it though.

will something good really happen if he finds out about your feelings? will he be able to heal you?

the mere thought was such a distant reality. it was absurd.

jungmo had fallen too deeply in the abyss of his affection for someone else to be able to allow himself to rise from that and turn his eyes to you.

your gaze was attached to him, the tears were on a continuous stream, but suddenly the pain felt empty as if your body had already got used to the excruciating pain the disease offers. it was a blank stare.

then came a sad smile. "jungmo, i love you."

the confession left your lips, a small wave of relief came washing your heart. finally, you had the courage to say it.

each word was laced in sorrow and genuine intention that stole his breath away. his eyes wide, hands shaking as it slowly dropped.

no, he'd been hurting you. he didn't deserve to wipe your tears.

he was the reason why there were scars on the corner of your eyes made by the stars prickling your delicate skin. he was the reason why the jingling magical sounds you used to love became such a terrifying sound.

he was the reason why your galaxy was collapsing.

there were tears forming on the corner of his eyes which he tried so hard to hold.

your tears never stopped. it fell like a spectacular meteor shower on anticipated and rare evenings. gloomy stars accompanied by salty tears mingling with droplets of blood. the new wounds hurt, but the wound he'd been watering in your heart was far crueler. eyes drowning in stars, heart drowning in unreciprocated affection.

tears cascaded down his cheeks, it became unstoppable like yours.

"oh my god." he finally managed to utter with a trembling voice. "i'm so sorry, y/n."

a choked sob left his lips. his stomach flipped in a terrible manner and his inability to return your feelings continuously crushing him, which crushes you even more. "shit, i'm so sorry. i'm really sorry. you don't deserve this. you don't fucking deserve me. i'm so sorry y/n."

his words repeated like a broken record.

but it didn't do anything to help you.

he was aware his apologies won't heal you.

he was aware he'll be unable to heal you.