Pandora ✔️

What I Fear

Questions.

There were too many. The front door was wide open, anyone could have entered. Your eyes scanned the open space.
He owned some expensive items, anyone could barge in and taken whatever they pleased. It didn't seem like him, to leave his home messy and unlocked but it was. With one bottle in each hand, you began cleaning the filthy kitchen as you trembled.

Where was he? Where had he run off to?

You gathered every empty bottle into a bag for recycling before you proceeded with the empty pizza boxes. They must have been there for days. The entire apartment had an odor that forced a nauseating feeling at the pit of your stomach. Rushing, you began opening the windows, allowing the cool summer breeze inside.
Raking your hair, you stared out at the messy apartment and wondered what happened for him to neglect his home this severely.

Exhaling, you continued cleaning. The coffee table had piles of papers, folders and a laptop that you assumed was for his job. Collecting it all, you walked over to his office room that was equally as disordered. Energy drink cans and paper bags of more fast food were all over his desk. He wasn't taking proper care of himself.

Your mind couldn't comprehend what was going on.

He always struck you as someone who took pride in his appearance, home, and health. However, what was in front of you this evening was far from the Jungkook you'd gotten to know.
You exhaled harshly as you slammed the folders onto the desk, worry overcoming you while a tight knot in your abdomen made you whimper.

Where was he?

You had, numerous times, called him but it went straight to voicemail. After discovering the state of his place, you texted him a million times but there was still no reply. Grateful that Hwasa knew Taehyung a little and provided you with his number, you called him a few moments ago and requested him to meet you.

Where was he?

As if a large elephant stood on your chest, you cried as you allowed your body to collapse onto his desk chair. A thousand thoughts roamed your mind, some ridiculous, others far fetched but regardless, this unyielding fear overwhelmed you and the thought that he could be hurt somewhere and it damn near crushed your heart.

Panting loudly as you sobbed, a sense of guilt clouded you for allowing yourself to get caught in Hwasa's convictions and actually - even for a brief moment - that he'd broken his promise and ghosted you again.
Jungkook cared about you, a lot, and he didn't want to be like your ex-fiancé. He didn't want to hurt you as he did.

That was a fact, you couldn't allow yourself to forget that.

He had been adamant about it and encouraging you to speak up and voice when something was wrong but it seemed, as you - through teary eyes - while staring at his diploma that hung so neatly above his desk, that he deliberately fell back into old habits and didn't let you in.

Wiping away the tears, you whimpered as you tried to collect yourself before you began gathering the trash. Your heart softly ached and you sobbed whilst cleaning, unable to shed the thought that perhaps he didn't feel comfortable or rather safe enough to let you in.
That night kept replaying in your mind as you carried the trash out to the kitchen before reaching for the laptop and going back into the office room.

Punish him.

It was about Jungkook. Something happened to him, something he never had a chance to express.
He didn't want to see you and he succeeded. Days went by and he'd completely ignored you.

Why? Was that his way of crying for help?

You opened the small window before you left the room. Inside of his bedroom, clothes were on the floor, his bed surprisingly untouched but it felt stuffy. Upon cracking the bedroom window open, your eyes fell onto the bright moon and its radiating light.
Maybe he needed you, perhaps his replies to your messages were his way of letting you know he wasn't alright but you were too caught up with your own shit that you didn't hear him.