STOP ME WHEN YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH

So, Maybe Not

He's holding it in the best he can. The panic is crawling up his throat that leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Oh, for fuck's sake. Is he having another attack? His legs carry him across the room and back, and he doesn't stop moving. He wants to stop. Why can't he stop?

It feels like he's choking. He can't breathe. He knew this was going to happen - he knew Kukaku might want to do something. Why is he freaking out? Why is he being such a baby? Deep breaths, Ichigo, deep breaths. That's what Ryuuken told him to do. Why can't he? He's going to vomit.

"Ichigo?" Rukia asks in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"I think I'm going to vomit," he confesses, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't think you'd get so nervous about this," Kukaku frowns.

"I'm not nervous! I have no idea why I'm moving! I want to stop, but I can't!"

"Ichigo, please take a deep breath. It's going to be alright," Yoruichi soothes.

"You're lying!" He roars.

She's taken aback. "No, Ichigo-"

"Stop lying to me! I've had enough!"

He fishes into his pocket for his cellphone. As he dials another number off his speed dial, he begins to fidget with his mother's cross inside his pocket once again. The slow ringing gives him chills.

"Please, please, please. Pick up."

There's a click, followed by: "Ishida," the cool voice greets.

"Dr. Ishida," Ichigo all but whimpers.

"Kurosaki. Is it happening again?"

"Yeah," he releases a cleansing breath, the rushing air reminding him he's not actually choking.

"What's going on?"

"You know how you wouldn't tell me who my dad really was?"

There's a suspicious pause. "You didn't."

"Yeah, I did. They want me to be the heir to the Shiba Clan."

A loud sigh ebbs through the phone speaker. "Son," he starts.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think she'd just fucking throw the title at me. I thought Ganju would be a more sensible option. He's got more brain cells than me," Ichigo scowls.

"Stop that. You taught yourself techniques it would take other Shinigami years to learn."

"But I'm not any other Shinigami. I don't even know what I am."

"Tell me this, son. Who do you trust the most?"

"Rukia," he replies without second thought.

"Is she there?"

"Yeah. Gawking at me like a deer in headlights like everyone else here."

"Quit your pouting and give the girl the phone."

"Yes, sir," he grumbles.

For the whole conversation, he forgot he's still pacing a hole into the floor. He closes his eyes in embarrassment.

"Rukia?"

She's already by his side. He doesn't let her speak as he shoves the phone in her direction while he continues his pacing. She takes it before he could get too far. With a weird look on her face, she puts the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Kuchiki Rukia?"

"Who is this?"