For Me, This Is Heaven (Lucina x Male!Reader)

Chapter 5: I'm Lost Without You

Hey there everyone! Sorry for publishing this chapter late, I just felt that I had to take my time with this in order to produce the best I could do. I'm thinking of changing my plans for this story too, so just expect late updates, to be safe. Currently working on my chapter for Wounded, but I'm not sure when I'll have that out by. School's starting up soon, to my dismay.

Anyways, hope you enjoy chapter five!

--Y/N POV--
Lucina...

I'm lost without you.

It had been two weeks since Lucina's strange disappearance, and I felt less alive than a risen. I had a lot of trouble in explaining it to the rest of the Shepherds, and some of the more skeptical ones still didn't believe me. 

But I knew what I saw. Lucina tumbling forward into my arms, suddenly as weak as a kitten... And then, her fading into nothingness. What had happened? I racked my brain for a rational explanation, and came up empty. 

All of that curiosity and confusion I felt were long gone. They had both been replaced by one thing- despair, sorrow, loneliness. I hardly talked to people anymore, preferring to stay in me and Lucina's tent, sniffing the sheets as if they contained some small remnants of her scent. Lucina wouldn't have wanted this... wherever she was, she would've wanted me to act like everything was normal, to live a normal life like she never left.

But how was that possible when half of my heart had disappeared with her?

Speaking to other living beings felt like a chore. I was always cranky and half asleep, which meant that they hardly bothered me now. I was fine with that, and so were they. 

Sometimes, it got really bad. When the yearning to see her face again, to hear her soothing voice, to wrap my arms around her, got too strong, I didn't eat for days at a time. I usually found myself turning to my guitar, singing her song once more.

Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?

Even though it had only been two weeks, it felt like a lifetime. Lucina... wherever you are... do you still love me the way I do? I don't think I could bear to see Lucina with someone else...

Anna: Y/N, are you in there? You have to come out!

I grumbled. Out of everyone, Anna had been trying the hardest to get me to come out of my tent. She knew how much I loved and missed Lucina, and I knew all she wanted to do was help, but going out there and living as if nothing happened just felt like a huge injustice to her.

This time, though, Anna barged in, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the tent.

Anna: I'm done with you moping around like this? What if Lucina saw you like this?

I stopped struggling and let her take me. She had struck on a nerve there...

She brought me to the tables at which we had our meals, and sat me down on a bench. Everybody else who was eating looked up, and, realizing who it was, scooted away ever so slightly. I sighed, massaging my temples and slouching.

Anna ran off to get food and came back with two steaming bowls of... stew. Gag me now. I stared at the unshapely green mush that strangely matched my mood. I picked up a spoon and speared it into the stew, muttering and grumbling halfheartedly. I couldn't even be mad without Lucina. All I felt was misery.

Anna: Y/N... How are you?

I jerked my head up and looked into her somewhat concerned eyes. It felt good to know that you have a friend you can count on.

Y/N: Honestly? Horrible... I need to find her, Anna. Even if it's the last thing I ever do.

She nodded, understanding my feelings, while giving me a reassuring look.