Somewhere Else

Chapter 2: Bump in the Road (i)

"Will you be okay?" Aksel peers at me from the driver's seat as I exit the car.

I huff. "I'll be fine. It's a job interview - it's not like I'm going hiking into the middle of nowhere."

He ignores my sass. "You know the way home, right? You can take the tram, or the bus..."

"Or walk?"

"Yeah, or walk," he agrees. "But if you need me to come get you..."

"It's, what, twenty minutes away on foot?" I roll my eyes. "I'll be fine." I think. I can vaguely remember the direction from which we came, anyway. I lean back in through the open door to kiss him lightly, before straightening. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. You have fun tonight."

"I won't stay too late," he promises.

I just laugh. "Stay as late as you want. Just don't drive if you drink, okay?"

Something gentle comes into his eyes. "Come here," he says quietly.

I lean back in through the door, and he unbuckles his seatbelt so he can reach over to cup my face. Then he pulls me towards him and kisses me good and proper.

"Good luck," he says, when he lets me go. Then he says, deadpan, "You may want to reapply your lipstick."

I stick my tongue out at him. "And you may want to wipe yours off." I laugh and back out of the car as he scrambles to look at his reflection in the rear view mirror.

With one last wave, I slam the car door shut. He glares balefully at me through the window as he wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, before starting up the car again. Then he is gone.

My smile fades as I watch Aksel's car speed out of sight. I've been putting on a brave face since a few days ago, when I received a callback from one of the companies I've applied to, asking me to come down for an interview. I didn't want Aksel to worry. He doesn't know how scared I am.

I hate interviews. I've always been unbearably bad at them. And it doesn't help, knowing that this is my first Finnish job interview. According to Aksel, Finnish job interviews aren't that much different from those anywhere else. He's given me some tips on what to do, what to say – be confident and firm, but don't exaggerate, and try to show at least a rudimentary knowledge of Finnish if I get the chance to. But it doesn't help that I'm basically walking in with no idea what to expect.

And I desperately need this job. It's the only company I've emailed that has responded with something other than a polite rejection – my level of Finnish is not high enough for any of the others. It's difficult, especially in my field, to find a job in Finland if you don't speak Finnish. So I need to do well in this interview. I need this job.

I look up at the grey building. From my perspective, it looks like it's towering into the sky, looming over me like a giant dark cloud. I almost want to turn around and leave. If only Aksel were here...

But no. I've been overly reliant on him since I've come to Finland – it's inevitable, with him being the only person I really know here. I need to do something for myself, by myself, starting with this.

Straightening my spine, I turn and walk through the double doors.

***

Barely an hour later sees me trudging out from the building, my previous resolve completely melted away.

I'm not going to get the job, I know. It wasn't that the interview questions were particularly tough, or that I don't have the requirements for the job. It was, quite simply, my own fault. I let the stress of the situation get the better of me – there were moments of long silences that only served to build the anxiety in me and I ended up babbling just to fill the silence. I tried out Aksel's advice about using Finnish if I could, but that had backfired on me when the interviewer had replied with something that I hadn't been able to decipher.