Somewhere Else

Chapter 14: Where It All Started (i)

I'm looking at my phone again. Since I ignored his last message, Aksel hasn't texted again. Of course he wouldn't – I'm not sure why I'm even checking my phone for hours on end. I'm not sure what I am expecting. Am I waiting for him to spam my phone with texts that I would read but wouldn't reply, and roll my eyes while secretly loving the attention from him? And, because he's not doing it, am I starting to wonder if he doesn't care that much, after all?

I scowl at myself and tuck the phone away. I'm focusing on myself right now – there's no room for overthinking. I don't need Aksel – I can survive without him.

Things are starting to look up. I've been slowly but steadily going through the class material with Elina – and finding that one-on-one sessions, without the distraction of classmates who are above my level, are helping a lot. When I don't understand something, Elina explains it to me until I do. In class, she would have had to stop and hold up the entire class. Not that I would have put up my hand in public and asked, anyway.

Other than that, I'm also slowly getting used to life with Priscilla. It has been slightly over a week since I've moved in with her, and we have settled into a routine. It's not that much different from living with Tatiana, I've come to realise. Despite her cheery, outgoing personality, Priscilla is similar to me in the way she needs her alone time. That is part of the reason it has been so easy to steal away an hour before class to meet Elina for my revision sessions. I would simply told Priscilla that I need some time for myself to think, and she would nod understandingly.

"You're improving," Elina tells me at our third session, not without an air of satisfaction. For her, I suppose, it's almost a personal victory – teaching Finnish to the unteachable student.

"I don't know," I say. "There are still plenty of things that I don't understand."

"Ah," says Elina, "but you understand this now." She slides a piece of paper over to me. Automatically, I read the first two lines, and recognise it.

"That's the very first pop quiz." I flush as I remember how I had practically run out of class crying, because I hadn't been able to do it.

Elina smiles gently like she knows what I'm thinking about. "Yes. And you can do it now."

"I don't know..." I eye the quiz like it's a coiled snake waiting to pounce.

Insistent, she pushes it towards me. "Try, Emi."

Shooting her a glare, I set my pen nib down onto the paper – and try.

***

"How's the hunt for an apartment going?" Zuzi asks me later in class. We're all clustered around our usual spot for the break – at Priscilla's and her own table. Now that I'm also part of the group, the circle has expanded to include mine as well. Ludo and Frederik always sit a few seats away near the end of the row, where they had been on the very first day of class. They could have shifted to be nearer to us, but they didn't. We humans are such creatures of habit.

"It's going okay," I shrug. "I've sent out a few messages to some apartments that look good. I have a viewing scheduled for this Saturday."

"Cool." Zuzi doesn't seem to have anything to say after that, but Priscilla is pouting now.

"I don't want you to move out so soon," she says, dragging her vowels to infuse the sentence with a whiny tone. "I like having a roommate."

"Why don't you move in for real then, Emi?"

Zuzi is joking, but Priscilla's eyes light up. She turns to me, the question already forming at her lips, but I shake my head.

"Sorry," I smile at Priscilla, "I like living with you, I do. But I need to have my own space."