Somewhere Else

Chapter 21: Supposed To Be

I walk into class the next day with a bubble of trepidation trapped in my chest. None of my friends have replied to my email, so I don't know if they've even read my essay. Maybe they haven't. Maybe I'm winding myself up for nothing.

The moment I step through the door, I see a large shape flying at me. Before I can flinch away – or do anything, really – I feel wiry arms wrapping around me and then Priscilla is exclaiming, a little too loudly against my ear, "I loved it!"

She squeezes me hard for a breathless moment before pulling away. Once I've managed to draw back enough air into my lungs, I squeak, "Really?"

"Really!"

Priscilla grabs my hand and skips toward our usual tables, forcing me to pick up my pace to follow along. The moment we get there, Zuzi descends on me.

"I read it," she says simply, tossing her head so that some curly strands of her hair fall across her face. "And I couldn't stop until I finished."

I flush at the hidden compliment. How typically Zuzi. She would never come right out to say that she had liked it. In a way, though, her roundabout praise means more than if she had gushed over it.

Ludo doesn't say anything, just flashes me a thumbs up. I wonder briefly if he has read it – he's not the biggest fan of books, after all – but I decide it is to my advantage if I take his reaction at face value.

"It's so... raw," Priscilla isn't done with the topic yet. She taps a finger on her chin as she mulls over her description of my writing. "So honest. I could really feel everything you wrote about. It's as if it all happened to me, too."

"That's exactly it," Frederik agrees. I know he reads a lot of literary works, so I'm relieved that he hasn't launched into a critical analysis of my writing. "It was honest writing."

I cover my face with my hands. "Thanks, guys," I say, peering out at them through my fingers.

"Aw," Zuzi cooes, laughing at me as she reaches over to loop an arm around my shoulders. "Look at her, she's shy."

"It's embarrassing," I mumble.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed," Priscilla says. "It was really good. I'm glad you let us read it."

"Yeah," says Zuzi. "I feel like I understand you more now."

I have no idea what to say in the face of such blatant support. "That's... good." I cough, "I mean – that's what I was aiming for, I guess. Sometimes when I talk about things... people don't understand."

Zuzi snorts at that. "Since when have you talked about things?" But she's laughing.

"Maybe it's because you don't speak of your experiences so much," Frederik says, "that reading this was an eye-opener."

Even Priscilla, the one I've confided in the most with regards to Aksel and my experiences in Helsinki, is nodding. "I never knew about half the things you wrote about. Only bits and pieces. I never knew how bad it felt for you."

I turn to Frederik. "I don't know if you remember the part about the Culture Shock Syndrome," I begin.

He laughs. "Yes," he agrees. "I was about to mention that. I remember that conversation."

"It was like a light went on in my head," I admit, "when you brought that up. Suddenly, everything made sense."

"I wish I'd known back then," Priscilla sounds mournful. "We could've helped."

"It's not so easy to get used to things here when they're not the way you've always done them," Ludo says. I look at him, lounging back in his seat with an air of belonging anywhere he wants. He sees my expression, and raises his hands. "Hey, I had to deal with teething problems when I first got here, too. It's not just you."