Maginoong Medyo Bastos

Chapter Fourteen

Tanda pa ni Vannessa ang pagkakataon kung kailan niya napagtantong dapat siyang mag-ingat kasama ang mga lalaking hindi niya masiyadong kilala.

It might be a weird thing to think about, but she had always thought that she was a harasser-magnet, if that thing ever existed in real life. Maybe it was because she had lived majority of her life getting harassed by her own clan, that was why she'd been attracting the same energy since then.

She didn't know. She wasn't so sure.

But certainly, other girls had it worse than her. There should be other girls who had been having it worse. It was just that thinking about that didn't comfort her even for a little bit. In fact, it saddened her even more.

Why must women suffer for being constantly objectified and sexualized?

Why must women have to live in fear?

Sa tuwing naiisip niya ang mga nangyari sa Zambales ay hindi niya mapigilang makaramdam ng kaba. Lumilingon-lingon din siya sa kanyang paligid kahit na nasa condo siya dahil sa takot na baka muling mangyari ang lahat ng mga bagay na iniiwasan niyang mangyari.

Kahit nga ang pakiramdam ng mga kamay nito sa kanyang dibdib at itaas na parte ng kanyang katawan ay nararamdaman pa rin niya, ang naglalakbay nitong mga kamay pababa nang pababa sa kanyang katawan.

She just wanted to forget everything that happened in that place, but forgetting everything meant forgetting the good things that she felt when she saw the sea for the first time after quite a long time. Forgetting everything meant forgetting the fun moments she shared with Santi.

But whenever she tried focusing on those better things, the guy would always creep in with his rough hands against her body.

She hated how a single bad memory could ruin all the good ones. She hated how unfair it was.

Minura niya ang sarili nang muling maalalang hindi niya nagawang manlaban dito at katulad ng dati'y naestatwa lang siya sa kanyang pwesto.

You should've fought. You should've punched his face like you usually do whenever you're drunk.

But that was the case, she could only do that under the influence of alcohol. Pero kapag hindi siya lasing at nangyari ang bagay na hindi niya gustong mangyari ay natutulala siya't nanginginig. She'd always feel helpless.

"Good morning, bhie." Santi placed a wet kiss on her cheek before giggling, shaking her head.

She smiled when their eyes met. The girl had been living with her for more than a week already, and she had proven to be a worthwhile companion.

Since Greg stopped sleeping at her condo because of his tight schedule, Vannessa had been spending the night in her condo alone. Minsan ay nagigising na lamang siya sa gitna ng gabi at napatutulala sa hindi niya malamang dahilan. Madalas din ay nagpatutugtog siya ng mga kanta para lang magkaroon ng kaonting ingay sa condo niya. The deafening silence allowed unwanted thoughts in, and she was avoiding that.

With Santi, it was different. Kapag wala siyang ginagawa sa gabi'y nanunuod sila ng palabas habang kumakain ng kung anu-ano. She remembered her bringing chocolates and donuts the night after the tragedy happened. She was thankful for that.

Kaya kapag kasama niya ito'y hindi niya pinahahalatang apektado siya sa nangyari sa Zambales. After all, she was thankful for Santi for protecting her. She would have been in greater danger if it weren't for the girl. She no longer wanted her to be more worried.

Hindi niya binanggit kay Venice at kay Greg ang nangyari. Noong nakauwi sila ay tahimik lang siya hanggang sa naisip niyang mas maiging umakto siya na parang hindi apektado.