Keys to the Kingdom

Forgiveness

Y/n POV

I was sitting quietly in the bath Hisoka has drawn for me. I watched the foreboding bloodred rose petals swirl in the water as the water jets made the bath like a a torturously comfortable experience. The pinkish hue of whatever oils and scents he'd put in there reached my nose, and I was reminded of him.I inhaled the strong scent and I frowned as I sank deeper into the bath and curled into a ball for comfort. I dimly heard Hisoka's silky voice as he read to me an old tale of fantasy and wonder. I'd imagine this was part of his apology and he'd done it every evening since the-the incident. I turned my eyes to him and felt the oils in the water slither over my body and cleanse my skin. Though, I didn't feel clean. We hadn't talked about what had happened for the past four days and I wanted-no needed to discuss it with him. I'd given him the cold shoulder for days now, but I could slowly see him wearing away each time I refused to hug, kiss or talk to him. At first, I needed him to be distant, to just let me recover. But as time wore on I too began to miss him and his hugs, his clever remarks, his playful banter, his beautiful smile, and his happy presence. He was clearly consumed with guilt and every time I attempted to bring up the subject of us, lately he'd made some excuse to avoid the discussion and do someghthing nice for me instead then disappear-like he always did. He'd even written me a thoughtful and clearly time consuming love poem. It was touching, and I loved it-but it was no solution to our problems. Most of our days consisted of massages, saunas, hot tubs, mani/pedis, hair appointment and all types of relaxing self-care type things. Though, he insisted we don't do anything remotely strenuous until I'm fully healed and he took it upon himself to keep me busy with all the aforementioned things while he ventured out to buy me gifts or visit the Zoldyck library to find interesting books for me to read, and for him to read to me. I liked and appreciated it all, but now really I just wanted to talk to him, to resolve this festering issue. My lips trembled slightly as I thought of how he kept avoiding the subject and thus trying to distract himself from his own guilt. He needed to face what he did, and talk to me so we could both move past it. I too, needed to face what I've done so I could move past it. I drew up my knees into me and I hugged myself as my throat bobbed as I felt as if I was going to cry tonight.

I looked to Hisoka and I watched his expression fluctuate as he read the thick, dusty book he was holding expressively so as to make the outdated language sound interesting and engaging. He did well as he spoke in a comforting tone while crossing his legs on the fluffy ottoman he sat on. I watched his eyes flicker over the page and he looked up at me and dramatically exclaimed, "and oh Tabitha, how my heart yearns for thy breath! How my loins yearn for thy forbidden fruit! How my lips yearn for thy gentle touch. But alas!" He glanced at the page briefly and, clutched his heart as he lamented, "if only the gleaming sea o'er the land would grant us passage. Oh Fates! Cease thy equivocation and bestow what you will upon me and my beloved, or I shall act rashly out of my stifled desires. I shall be struck down by my own hand- and rip out my own heart, tear out my own eyes and may the gods smite my soul and tear my-"I smiled slightly and I leaned over the edge of the bath. I cut him off as I pleaded softly, "please Hiso, don't read that part. It's too sad for me to hear right this moment, hm?." I leaned my arms on the edge of the bath and he looked toward me. His expression went from slight surprise and melted into admiration and love. His throat bobbed as he bit his lip and whispered, "o-of course my Love.  I'll skip this part, it's far too unholy for your mind anyway, yes?" I just set my face on my hand and responded with "hmm." My wet hair dripped onto the floor as Hisoka cleared his throat and continued. I listened to him contentedly as I watched his expression closely. His eyebrows rose and fell, as his lips parted to speak his velvety voice, and his warm amber eyes shone as they meandered across the parchment. I smiled as I watched him, as I a sat there wishing we could just talk, wishing I could make him stop distracting himself from his guilt. I wanted to to face it, and talk to me so we could both move on.