Eric Coulter Oneshots

Authors note (please read)

Hey. If you don't know the type of stuff I like to write by now look at many of the other parts and story's here. I write sad because I am sad.

If you don't understand it read this and you might understand a little more.

Depression:
Depression feels like a deep painful movie you are being forced into watching. Watching this movie about yourself. You can't control what you do or why you do it and yet this person's thoughts are somehow your own. You smile like the rest of humanity would want you to but it is a mask to cover up the ugly emotions that make up your very soul. The constant thump of your heart fades into the never ending abyss that is your robotic body pushing your brain into different spaces and time of pure bliss that you cannot live in. The cold and ice in the air may wrap around you but you have learned to make the most terrible beast and demons your closest friends. You are numb to the very core. When death comes in its sweet relief you welcome, for you were never afraid of the darkness.

Anxiety:
Your mind can race at the speed of sound in a world of different terrors that are somewhat irrational. You know this of course but it doesn't stop your mind for signing up for the race.Your heart thumps against your rib cage begging for its freedom. When the leaders in your body refuse it forces your chest to tighten and your body to freeze. It causes air to be rare and sweet yet cruel and sharp all in a moments time. An elephant had been placed on your chest and words will not form let alone pass your dry lips. Every word is like a pinprick. So small yet enough for nerves to build immensely. It is a wall you can't climb over or break through. It is ice so thin yet you cannot break through.

Insecurities:
Physical: All these pictures of people who are perfectly flawless and fit, you will never look like them or feel like them. You feel to y'all or to short, to skinny or to large. Your feel your chest bubble and tears rise. You are not them, you aren't good enough and no one will ever be proud.
Emotional: All these people know who they are and what they want. What do I want. Who am I. There happy shouldn't I be to. Why can't I be more like her. You think as you drowned in your thoughts.

These are how I feel daily. I'm sorry if these triggered you but if you didn't understand I hope you can try to show more kindness to those that do. Thank you. Love y'all.