The Bucket List

21 (jess' pov)

Jess' POV

I made my way back over to Rose's house. Krystal had fallen asleep on the couch, Rose in her bedroom. I closed the pizza boxes that were sitting on the coffee table and put them in the fridge, then sighed. I didn't work tomorrow and there was the party, so I figured I may as well just sleep here.

I made my way up the stairs and down the hall toward the guest room next to Rose's. As I turned to go into the room, I couldn't help but peer into Rose's room through the cracked door. She was laying on top of her blankets, her head not on a pillow, curled into a little ball with all of her clothes still on. I sighed and quietly made my way into the room.

I sat down on the bed next to her and slowly slipped off her Vans and took her hair out of its braids. She always complained about morning headaches every time she fell asleep with a braid.

"Oh, Rose," I sighed.

"I know," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I said softly.

"No, it's okay. You didn't. And you were just helping," she replied.

"So what do you mean by 'you know'?" I asked cautiously.

"I mean I know that I'm a mess," she chuckled dryly. "I just got back from my aunt's funeral and I'm laying here sad about a boy that I hardly know."

"Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you've known someone," I said. "Sometimes you just click. And sometimes it just feels right."

"Yeah, sometimes," she said.

"Okay, genius, Colby counts as one of the sometimes. You guys have chemistry. Why else do you think I give him shit about it all of the time?" I asked.

"Because you enjoy bullying me," she said.

"That may be true, but I bully lovingly and with a purpose," I smiled.

"You're awful, you know that?" she giggled.

"Yes ma'am, I'm aware," I said.

"Can you please tell me why he was here, Jess?" she asked, sitting up. I sighed and looked down at my thumbs and thought about what had happened.

Colby had called me that morning and asked me to meet him at Rose's house. I showed up before he did, and I remember hearing him excitedly burst through the doors.

"Jess! Okay, you ready?" he asked.

"Yeah, see, I can't answer that until you tell me what it is that we're doing," I responded.

"Oh! I didn't tell you! I'm sorry, I'm just nervous. Look, I've been thinking about everything Rose said and I talked to Jake and...and I like her. A lot. You were right, and you're allowed to rub it in my face. But only if you help me ask her out," he said.

"Really! Oh my god, you fucking softie! That's adorable!" I laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. I want to put up a cute little welcome home party for her and Krystal and I'll ask her then," he said.

"Party?" I asked.

"Okay, maybe that's not the right word. Just you and me waiting for them to come home. You can go distract Krystal and I'll ask Rose then," he said.

"Jeez, you've actually thought about this, huh?" I asked.

"I didn't sleep. I can't think about anything else. I got some balloons and stuff," he said, pointing back toward the front door.

"He was here to...," I trailed off. He'd seemed so excited when he came over and we started, but the excitement had faded when Rose came home early.

"Who the hell is banging on the door?" Colby asked.

"I don't know, go look," I said, carrying some pairs of shoes that Rose had left downstairs up to her room.

"Rose! You're... you're here," I heard Colby stammer.

"Yes, and so are you. Can I ask why I've been locked out of my own house?" she asked. Fuck. I dropped all of the shoes on the stairs and sprinted over to join Colby at the cracked door.

"Go to the Traphouse. We'll text you later," I said quickly.

"This is literally my house," she argued.

"We're aware. Krystal, you can come in," I said. We could use her help putting all of the decorations up.

"What the fuck," Rose said. Krystal shrugged, then went inside. "Why are—,"

"Can't talk, gotta go, see you," I said before closing the door.

"Bruh," I heard Rose say to the shut door in front of her. I stood silently until I heard a sigh and her footsteps slowly fade away.

"So what's happening?" Krystal asked, setting down her bag.

"Yeah, Colby, tell her," I said in a singsong voice. Except Colby wasn't excited anymore.

"I...," he trailed off.

"You okay, dude?" asked Krystal.

"Tell her what's happening, you wouldn't shut up earlier," I said.

"A mistake," he whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you okay?" Krystal asked.

"No, er, yes, I'm okay. But she's not," said Colby.

"What do you mean? Rose is fine," said Krystal.

"No, Krystal. She's not," Colby replied.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I shouldn't.... this isn't right. She needs to be okay with being alive before I do this. I can't have her living just to make me happy. I need her to want to live before I ask if she wants to spend her time alive being with me," he said, staring down at the floor. He looked up and I saw panic dancing behind his blue eyes.

"O-okay. It's okay," I said calmly, noticing Colby's breathing increase.

"Hey, Colby, it's okay. Really. We can make something up to tell her," said Krystal.

"No, let me do it. I'll go talk to her. Please don't tell her about any of this. I don't want her to feel guilty or sad or anything. I need her to focus on herself right now," said Colby.

"I can't tell you, Rose. I told you earlier, it's his thing to say when both you and him are ready for it to be said and heard," I sighed.

"Jess, come on," she insisted.

"No, and you're not convincing me otherwise this time. Now go to sleep, loser," I said.

"You make my life difficult," she sighed.

"Oh, honey. You don't know the half of how difficult you are. Love you anyway, though. Now sleep. I'll see you tomorrow," I said.