𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬

one

"Me plus me is a problem."
- jxdn

Reese

10 February 2017 - New York City

Flipping the blank pages of my journal through my fingers,I read the notes written by me-my personal notes.I would have never thought that I would be doing this with my journal dating year 2010.The only reason I decided to open this treasure is to look for specific notes on someone who was once special.

My ex-boyfriend,River LeBeau.

When River and I started dating in 2009,we were both 17 and were too impulsive.We dated for a total of three years and we parted ways with him going to Washington to get a major in English and me to New York for my Law studies.

But recently,something unexpected happened.I received a phone call from Samantha LeBeau, River's mother.She was desperately trying to convince me to come visit River.

The suicidal River.

River had tried to kill himself multiple times and his mom claimed that I'd be the only one to save him.

"We broke up five years ago Sam!" I exclaimed.

"Please dear, I know you can save him," she sobbed,"I can't force you but I'll still wait for you." She said before hanging up.

I didn't really know if it was worth saving the one who broke me first-the guy who broke my self-esteem, who used me for sex in some ways, the guy who promised me heaven but who made me go through pure hell.

God,what should I do?

'Save him' the little annoying voice in my head whispered simultaneously.

River LeBeau, what did you do with your life?

I can't lie and pretend that I moved on from him.Even though I tried hard,I was fighting for a lost battle.I went on several dates but the outcomes were fruitless if we don't count the relationship of six months that I had with a guy named Jim.I had to break up with him also because he was very clingy and aggressive plus River haunted me in my dreams and nightmares.

I would have never left him,to be honest.I loved him more than I loved myself,I gave him all of me, I trusted him,I believed in him but he blew everything away.

I still remember that day like is was yesterday.River came to my house to announced that he was admitted to WCU and I was overly proud of him.I still hadn't told him at that time that I also got my admittance letter to WCU earlier that week.

He was so thrilled that he even got accepted and I always believed in him, unlike every other people he was close with.

We planned to buy an apartment in Washington and to leave everything in Texas.We planned to get married in Vegas after uni and to have two children minimum.

But it was all in our imagination. In mine mostly.

I was devastated the day River disappeared for a week and came back simply to break up with me mostly because he wasn't good enough for a girl like me.I tried so hard to make him understand but once again,it was fruitless.