𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬

eight

"I wanna see you undo it."
-The 1975

Reese

23 February 2017 - New York City

"So Ree, I have a project to submit to Mr.Handsome about suicide and he asked the class to question our friends or random people about their views,"
Mitchell questioned, as she wrote the title of her project on the fresh page of her diary.

"Wait, didn't Mr.Handsome get a transfer?" I asked, surprised. Mr. Lucas Smith, also known as Mr.Handsome was the most 'sexy' teacher, according to Mitchell. He had a manbun, he was blonde and was 6 feet tall.

"No! It was Mr.Bertrand who got a transfer, you stupid bitch," Mitchell chuckled, contaminating me in the process.

"So, let's get to your project. I think that awareness about suicide should be made throughout mass media from example. Schools should have one psychologist, minimum and I think that suicidal people shouldn't keep everything bottled up." Faint memories of River flooded back but I brushed them away as soon as they popped up. I couldn't let myself get crushed again.

Mitchell and I, seated in front of my desk, discussed about her project and about our upcoming assessment. Being the study freak I was, I had already revised my notes twice.After one more hour, Mitchell got a call from Laura, her sister and rushed home.

"Twist around the lounge, sun drowns the house, stick another pill in my head and go to bed..." I hummed along the song being played on my phone. This song gave me bad memories but I couldn't seem to get rid of it - I had that special connection with music.

"Dammit," I groaned as the knife slight grazed against my finger. Droplets of blood began to ooze from the fresh cut. I swiftly removed the first aid kit from the kitchen drawer. As I was busy applying the itchy antiseptic, I heard the doorbell ring. I placed the small bottle on the kitchen counter and walked to the door, grabbing my phone on the way using my unblemished hand.

I stopped, deadpanned. The familiar person stood in front of me, dressed the same way he usually did . His eyes lit up as his met mine.

"... River?" My heart beat at a fast rate and my phone slipped from in between my fingers.

"I-I'm sorry for barging here but... I have to talk to you," he stuttered. I could feel the pain in his voice, the despair, the lack of essence. Not being impolite, I told him to come in. He made me lose all of my common sense - I promised myself to forget about him and here I was, letting him into my apartment.

"Do you want tea or coffee?" I asked and he politely declined.

"The least you can do is accept a drink from me," I scolded.I noticed the small smile forming on his lips but as soon as he realized what he was doing, his face went as blank as a few seconds before.

"Coffee is fine." I nodded before removing the coffee bowl from the cupboard. I didn't bother asking him the amount of sugar to be added as I never forgot the way he liked his coffee or tea. As I was busy with making coffee, I noticed him in the corner of my eyes eyeing the notebooks displayed on the table. I haven't really had time to deep clean my apartment - some of my old notebooks are still on my coffee table and my books are all scattered over my bed.

"Here you go."

"Thanks."

"So, what are you doing in New York?" I asked. I was proud of myself for not making myself look vulnerable - if I didn't have a self pep-talk, I'd be currently arguing with him about that Bailey girl but sometimes, you have to grow up and face your problems - something I've spent my whole life not doing.

"I'm here for a reason only. I'm here for that girl and well, I need advice from you." Wait! He came all this way just to ask me relationship advice?

"Bailey... right? She lives in New York now?" I sarcastically asked. I couldn't believe that he'd actually be so stupid to come here and ask me about Hailey and him. Is he trying to hurt me?

"Bailey lives in Texas, Reese." He scoffed but a taunting smirk soon pulled on his lips. 'Did I hit a nerve?' I wanted to say but he might think that I was jealous.

"I don't have any advice to give you. I'm not Cupid's daughter." I sarcastically responded.

"But-"

"Bye River. I hope you have one hundred kids with Bailey or I don't know with whom you shared herpes with."

"Wai-"

"I said bye.I'm not a fool." He laughed.

"You're so foolish. The girl I'm here for is you Reese. You and only you." He laughed again. Was I so impulsive to argue that I didn't even realise that 'that girl' was me? Kill me oh Lord.

"Sorry," I awkwardly mumbled, walking over to my couch. I heard his footsteps coming closer and closer and then, his hand gently circled my shoulder.

"I'm sorry about Bailey, Reese, I really am. I was so stupid thinking that you didn't love me and that you were just in Texas to help me out and that you were just pretending to love me again." He admitted. I feel quite hurt but then, he just human. I couldn't blame him because I thought he stopped loving me too.

"I get you. I should have asked you for an explanation first instead of being so puerile and heading back here in New York."

"Can we start afresh, Reese?" he asked as I played with the hems of my hoodie.

"I love you but are you sure it's a good idea?" I knew it was rash of me to destroy the tension between us right now but I had to think for myself - I couldn't just indulge myself into something that I knew might get broken in a month or two. I had to put my energy is something worthy, if that made any sense.

"I promise you heaven." I blushed.Since when was River poetic?

"Can we start slow?" I requested. Once again, I couldn't give myself into something that'd destroy myself.

"Yes babe." He replied, tucking a stray strand hair behind my ear.

"What happened to your finger?" he curiously questioned as he took my hand in mine. He smiled and I knew exactly why - memories of Texas when I cut myself in the kitchen. He was mad at me at the time.

We spent the afternoon cooking pasta and watched Netflix. River suggested that we watch Rambo 5:Last Blood and afterwards, I regretted my decision to let him pick the movie. The film was cool but the excess use of violence shooked me a bit.

"You look like a zombie," he joked pecking my forehead.

"Guess we are twins now."

"Dang." He laughed. I was slowly feeling my eyes shutting and my working system drowning.

He waited for me to fall asleep then he went away. I smiled when I felt the warm blacket being thrown over my body.

I just hoped that this time, things wouldn't be as ephemeral as before.