supersonic | liam gallagher / damon albarn

twenty six

As I watched the clock in the corner of my computer screen turn to 1PM, I pulled on my jacket and grabbed my bag, heading out of the office to the café close by for my lunch break.

The morning had flown by, the taste of Damon's lips still lingered on my own and my mind was going crazy thinking about him that entire morning. I was confused and my mind was constantly wandering, trying to understand my feelings properly, which proved harder than I thought.

Sitting at my desk knowing Damon was in my home by himself made me feel a certain type of way, and I couldn't wait to finish work that day and get back home to his face. I suppose that was a sign towards how I really felt.

I smiled at the security guard by the front door of the building who gave me a civil nod and a grin as I walked out into the cool afternoon air.

Manchester was never usually a pleasant place, especially not when it came to weather. Only that day, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun shone high, reflecting on the ripples of the water that rushed through the Quays.

"Britney."

I jumped out of my skin when I saw Liam appear from around the corner, a dark green parker jacket drowning his body.

"Liam, what are you doing here?"

I stood still as he approached me, confused as to why he was hanging around outside my office on a Monday afternoon.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry, I missed your call last night and I couldn't get hold of you after, I called your brother and he told me where you worked, I just wanted to check everything was okay."

That was why he was here. It was just a shame he was too late.

I paused to look at him. His face appeared concerned, his eyes looking me up and down as I crossed my arms at my chest.

"I- I'm fine." I said, shaking my head.

"How come you called? What happened?"

"Nothing, it-" I started, "It was an accident. But whoever answered your phone-"

"Fuck." Liam spat, grimacing as he looked up to the sky, letting out a deep sigh.

We fell silent for a moment and I watched as Liam racked his brains trying to find an explanation for why whoever the woman on the other end of the phone was answering his calls.

Only it seemed like he was struggling to give me an answer.

"Britney she's just a friend I swear, I don't know why she answered my phone, I don't know..." he trailed off, growing more flustered by the second.

She clearly wasn't a friend, Liam and I both knew that. Whether she was more than a friend or perhaps even less than a friend, knowing Liam told me that it was definitely not a friendly exchange the two were having that evening when I called.

"Liam it doesn't matter, you don't have to explain yourself to me. You don't owe me anything." I said with a small but painful chuckle thinking about Liam with somebody else, again.

"That's where you're wrong though. I do owe you an explanation, how are we gonna get back on track when-"

"Liam," I spoke loudly, stopping him in his tracks.

My stomach turned at him mentioning getting back on track, which now, was something I wasn't even considering. After what Noel told me at the hospital about Liam not being able to sleep with another woman after he and I split, now meant nothing.

I had believed Noel when he told me, because one thing he wasn't, was a liar. I admired him for that, and I wished Liam had been more like him in a lot of ways.

But now, it seemed to me like once Liam had got be back in the palm of his hand, taken what he wanted, he'd gone right back to his old ways.

"Just forget about it all, okay?"

"I don't wanna forget about it Brit, I want things to carry on how we were, how-"

"Liam we slept together once, it, it doesn't mean anything."

As soon as those words escaped my lips, I instantly regretted it. I watched Liam's face completely fall, washing over with pain like I'd never seen before. It was as if the breath had been knocked out of his body and his usual hard exterior had been shattered into a thousand pieces, slumping back into himself shallowly.

"It meant nothing to you?"

Hearing the sorrow in Liam's voice cut me deep, only his emotions at this had fuelled an anger inside of me that I'd been doing my best to bury for a long, long time.

How could he act so hurt, so upset, over something that he'd done to me, only a million times worse?

I felt sick.

"We don't work, Liam. We don't. We've tried and every time we get close to finishing the puzzle, we lose the last piece. And we will never find it."

He was lost for words for once. Even though Liam had hurt me in so many more ways than what I was saying was hurting him, I still felt bad. I never wanted to hurt Liam, despite him deserving it. Looking him in the eye and watching him fall apart right in front of my caused my heart to break in away I didn't know was possible.

"Where has this come from? I thought we were good, you and me, I thought..." He shook his head in disbelief and I could tell he was trying his best to swallow the lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry Liam, I think it's best if we don't make this anymore complicated than it needs to be."

I couldn't let myself wait for Liam to say anything else. I didn't need to hear what he had to say and the truth was, I knew my heart couldn't take hearing any more from him. Seeing his heart break was enough pain to last me a lifetime, a lifetime which I thought I'd already had.

I quickly walked away, heading in the direction of my apartment. Thankfully, Liam didn't call out after me, and I didn't turn around to see where he went after I left, not wanting to hurt myself seeing him stood alone.

I called my boss on the walk home, telling him I'd taken ill and wasn't going to be in the office for the rest of the day. He wished me well, and before I knew it, I was back at the door to my apartment.

Pausing outside the door, I took a moment to compose myself. My emotions were running high and my heart was beating at a rate it shouldn't be, blood rushing to my cheeks.

I needed the touch of Damon. I needed to see his smile and hear his voice. He soothed me, calming me down one moment and driving me up the wall the next. He was like nobody I'd ever met, he could control me any way he liked. And I'd let him, happily.

I knocked at the door and waited a few seconds before Damon opened it, standing in the doorframe looking confused, but happy.

"What're you doing back so early? I mean, I'm not complaining but-"

I silenced Damon by kissing him, feeling his hands grab at my waist as he kicked the door shut behind us. Damon pressed himself against me, moving his hands to my thighs and picking me up, carrying me over to the sofa and gently placing me down, pulling away from me for a second.

He hovered over me, his eyes taking in every inch of me as I lay underneath him. I felt tense under his gaze, yet I wanted him more than I ever had in my life. Suddenly, everything that had happened twenty minutes earlier didn't matter to me anymore. The pain, regret, and guilt had all been washed away by the feeling of raw love I felt when I thought about Damon, and the lust that overtook me whenever he locked eyes with me.

"God," he moaned, breathless, his blue eyes meeting my own, his lips just inches from mine, his hands either side of my head, "I've missed you so much."