Spiraling

Prologue

TW: Mentions of depression, anxiety, drug use, addiction, death, torture & violence 😗✌️

It was around 10 PM when your phone buzzed as you were lying on your sofa, your head buried in the cushions, mindlessly watching Netflix on the TV as you had been for the past 6 hours. You didn't know what you were watching, nor did you care. It was just to fill the time. All day you felt numb, with no work you just didn't know what to do with yourself. Usually, a hot shower helped but that didn't work this time; the scalding water didn't make you feel something, anything.

You didn't really know why you felt this way when you were alone this time, there hadn't been something specific that triggered it. It happened sometimes at work but you kind of brushed it off and continued with the task at hand, after all you had murderers to catch. Sometimes, you used medicine if it was that bad. The only person that took your mind completely off of it was Spencer. For some reason, he knew exactly what to say or do to keep your head from drowning by your own thoughts- his rambling about random facts was endearing, you could just listen to his voice all day. You two are good friends and you sometimes hang out outside of work too, usually to watch some foreign movie at the local theater or at each other's house. He had a calming presence and having him around made you feel... Well it made you feel a lot of things but you didn't really want to dig yourself in a deeper hole than you already had.

These past few days Spencer had gone to visit his mom in Las Vegas and you didn't realize, but his absence affected you. You were just a bit more down than usual and along with the latest child-trafficking case, you weren't exactly in the mood to dance around in your apartment. It felt fitting to spend a day at home, it's not like you had anything else to do anyway, your job took up almost all of your time and you didn't get to make any new friends, well except the team, these past few months that you moved to Virginia.

So, Netflix and dry cereal because the milk had spoiled was your day. You didn't really mind it, as you didn't really have energy to do anything besides that and sleep.