Spiraling

End

Spencer watched you as you left the office and pulled out your sweater from the bag. His hands trailed down each stitch to try to figure out why you would give him one of your most valued items. He unfolded it, noticing a white piece of paper fluttering to the floor. He picked it up, perplexed. 

Then, he read it.

I'm so sorry Spence, I loved you too.

"What? What does she m-"

His fingers grew ice-cold and the back of his neck started to sweat.

"No, no, no, no, no," he thought out loud in disbelief.

He had to make sure. 

Rushing over to Hotch's office and barging in, he spoke quickly and with an urgent tone.

"HOTCH, Hotch! Did y/n say something to you? Was she acting weird today?"

"She said she wasn't feeling well and just wanted a personal day tomorrow, why what's wrong?"

And just like that the realisation hit him. He knew why she was acting this way today, what she was about to do.

Hotch stood up.

"Reid? What happened?"

"I- I have to go."

He got into his car and speeded to your apartment, passing through several red lights on his way. His thoughts were racing. He didn't want to accept it, he couldn't. He hoped, he hoped he would be there on time to stop you. What went wrong? He didn't know. 

Why couldn't she just talk to me? Why?

He pressed the gas pedal harder, the memories of you and him coming in fragments in his mind. 

He was at your front door, knocking loudly.

"Y/N OPEN THE DOOR. OPEN THE DOOR Y/N." He frantically screamed to let him in. 

Those were the last sounds you heard as you drifted off. 

He took one of the spare keys you had left in the soil of the plant beside your door and he opened it. 

"Y/n?"

He saw you lying unconscious.

Fear and panic coursed through his veins. This wasn't happening.

"Y/N? Y/n wake up."

He started to perform CPR.

"Wake up. Please. Wake up."

He called 911, continued chest compressions, cracking a few ribs in the process. Hot tears were falling down his cheeks with each plead aimed at you to wake up, but you were long gone. 

Spencer changed after that night. He was broken, but he realised life was too short to not take what you want. He never knew why you wouldn't just speak to him though.