Tudor Rose

viii. a queen's purpose

August 21, 1511

It had been over two months since the wedding and coronation, and everything was beginning to settle down. All eyes were on me and my flat stomach, every person in the country watching and waiting for a pregnancy announcement.

I wanted to be pregnant. Henry wanted it, too. It was likely, so why wasn't it happening?

But when I woke up, I saw the blood and realized I still wasn't.

"No, no, no. It should've happened by now!" I was beyond worried, I was scared. What would happen to me if I couldn't become pregnant?

Mary, the youngest and sweetest of my ladies, came over to me to help. I couldn't help it, the tears came before I even realized. Mary placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, as if that would solve the problem at hand.

"Why hasn't it happened yet? I want, no I need, a child." I fell to the floor, helpless. "What am I doing wrong?"

"You're still young. It'll happen, Your Majesty, just give it time," Mary said.

'Your Majesty' was a title I wasn't used to. Even after two months of being queen, it felt like it didn't belong to me, like I was simply a placeholder.

Perhaps I was, if I couldn't give the king a son.

"I don't have time, Mary. Don't you understand? All of England is waiting for me to produce an heir. Do you know what happens to queens who can't do that?" I snapped.

"I apologize. I shouldn't have been so insensitive," Mary quietly replied.

Immediately after, she scurried away and I felt awful. She was so young. Did I really expect her to understand? No, I couldn't do that. I didn't even understand it.

I decided that, no matter, I would be pregnant in the next month.

__

September 30, 1511

"You're still not-?"

Henry and I were playing our daily game of chess, and it seemed like an escape from the immense pressure of being royalty. I was getting better at it each time we played, and it was starting to annoy Henry.

"Don't say the word, please," I interrupted, "But, no, not yet. Next month, it'll happen. I know it!"

"Well, I won't complain about visiting your bedchamber more often."

He calculated a move, tapping the board lightly. I watched him as he carefully moved one of his pieces. I smirked at him, and moved one of mine without hesitating.

"Checkmate," I said.

"There's no way! You used to be horrible at chess," Henry retorted, analyzing the board carefully.

"I learned from the best," I reminded him.

He only smiled at me, and though I could see the sadness and disappointment in his encapsulating blue eyes, I pretended not to notice.

__

December 1, 1511

I raced down the halls, people moving out of my way, obviously confused. It was happening. It had to be.

"I need to see Henry!" I demanded.

The guards posted outside of the council meeting looked at me, panicked.

"Your Majesty, the king is in a council meeting. He is busy," one told me. The other silently agreed.

I crossed my arms. "Let me in. He won't be mad."

They looked between each other and me, unsure of what to do.

"Just let me in! I'll deal with the king if he's angry!" I yelled.

I pushed through them, throwing the doors open dramatically. Henry immediately stood up, and the room collectively gasped. Henry walked over to me, eyebrows furrowed. He was mad.

"Anna, what are you doing?" he snapped.

I pulled him behind a tapestry and into a small, empty room.

"Anna!" He was very mad, and pulled his arm away from me. "What is this important?"

I inhaled sharply. "I'm finally pregnant!" I squealed from the excitement.

His eyes slowly drifted to my stomach, and his entire face lit up. His demeanor changed entirely. He looked back up at me, smiling widely. He was beyond happy.

"Are you sure?" he asked, placing his hands gently on my shoulders.

I nodded. "It's been two months since I've bled. I'm sure of it."

"Then listen to me carefully. Go rest. I'll come visit you later."

"So, you're saying I shouldn't have run here?" I asked, tilting my head and smiling nervously.

He rubbed his forehead and sighed deeply. "You ran here?"

"Maybe?" I replied, "I mean yes. No, I mean no."

"Go lie down," he instructed me."

I exited the room, slyly smiling as the men watched me. I was Anna Tudor, and I was determined to be one of the best queens England had ever seen.

__

After many hours of laying around and trying to find various ways to occupy myself, Henry finally came to see me. I sat up immediately, excited to speak with him, and he sat beside me on the bed.

"You need lots of rest, Anna," Henry insisted.

"Oh, but that's no fun," I complained, "Especially when you're too busy to play chess with me. Unless you're too afraid of losing to me, of course."

"I am not afraid of losing to you!" Henry said defensively. I laughed, suddenly feeling happier than I had in months. "I just want the baby to be safe."

I nodded. It was comforting that he cared so much about the safety and comfort of the baby and I. It showed he truly cared.

"Henry, you will get your son," I promised.

I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or me. 

______

published august 5, 2020

a/n: DID YOU SEE  THE COVER????? ISN'T IT SO PRETTY????? ok now that i got that out, the real question: do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?