𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 | 𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐑𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 [𝐞𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐞𝐫]

20

CHAPTER 20

Real life

Time passed quickly and I just wished this moment would never end.
As I watched the sun set in front of my stunned eyes, Josh spoke...

- Ivy?

- Yes?

- I, uh... Well, I mean, I... Do you know about all the bad stuff I did to you? I'd like to apologize.

- but you've already done it so many times...

- Yes, I know I have... He says with his head down, but I feel like I can't apologize enough for everything I've put you through.

- Josh, um... It's all behind us now, you don't have to worry about it anymore.

I gave him a reassuring smile before I put my hand on his.
Josh looked up immediately, surprised at my sudden gesture.

- There are other things I wanted to tell you... I heard Josh whisper.

- I listen to you?

My heart began to beat at a crazy speed, I was afraid of what he was going to tell me.
I was so happy and at the same time so anxious.

I wanted him to tell me, to tell me that he loves me.
But I was so afraid to commit myself, afraid of other people's eyes...

I started TikTok when I was 15 less than a year ago, initially I was doing it for fun, until I started to accumulate more subscribers.
I didn't expect to have so many people following it in my daily life so I wasn't ready.

From the moment you start to become famous, your community wants more content, so you put a huge pressure on yourself, you don't make content anymore because you like it, but because you have to...

And I was so afraid to get involved with Josh, that my subscribers didn't like it...

- I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but I've never been able to... You know when I told you you were fat and needed to lose weight?

- Obviously, it's still kind of stuck in my throat.

Josh started laughing nervously before he went on.

- Well, actually, I wanted to tell you that... Well, you know, it's been a while since... I've had feelings for you...

My heart stopped beating when he revealed himself, I didn't think he'd admit it so quickly and with almost no difficulty.

- you know... If you don't love me back, I can always forget about you... Or-

- Wait, what? To forget me? You're sick I've been dreaming about this moment for so long of- uh, no, I mean, you know what I mean...

Josh started laughing. I felt less stressed and more comfortable after he confessed his feelings to me.

- But, um... I'm not ready to commit to a new relationship... I feel really good with you, and I don't want to rush into it... I said

- maybe you'd like to take some time?

- Yeah, I would.

Josh smiled at me and then nodded up and down.