It Hurts

Ch-13:It hurts

*TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of sexual abuse(rape). Don't read if any of this triggers you. I will give a warning before and after a triggering scene comes.*

I slowly walk down the stairs and I see a girl about 6 years old standing there holding Blake's finger.
'When did he come back.' I think.
But then I see the person standing behind the little girl and it's like I can't breathe. I freeze in my spot, probably wide eyed.
There stands Daviel Hans. Martha's best friend.
Cole notices him too and he knows who that is immediately. He comes to stand by my side but I can't comprehend anything. Our eyes lock and he gives me an evil grin. Oh no.
"Katherine greet your guests where are your manners?" Blake sternly tells me.
I somehow plaster on a fake smile and greet them.
"Hi Katherine. I am sure we will get along just fine and have lots of fun." Daviel says and I start shaking.
I just give him a weak smile and nod shakily.
No one except Cole notices.
'They don't care. Why would they?' My mind says. I agree.
"Blakey pick me!" the girl says to Blake.
Blakey. The nickname I gave him.
Blake chuckles and picks her up.
"Katherine this is Lily. Lily this is our sister, Katherine."
"Hewo." she says and I can't help smiling at her.
"Hi." I reply back.
"Do you wanna give a hug to the others? Al? Jay-Jay? Luca?Cole?" Blake asks.
I want to break down right there and then.
I gave them those nicknames. We swore to never let anyone else except each other call us those names. I never let anyone else call me bambina or the other names they call me. At least Cole kept that promise. But it hurts. God it hurts.
I look up from the floor and connect my eyes with Blake.
"May I be excused?" I ask him.
"You don't wanna eat?" Luca-Lucas asks.
I just shake my head. Blake just nods so I head upstairs. I lock myself in my room and slide down against the door.
And I break down crying. I haven't cried in so long and I can't believe i broke down because of something so silly.
They just gave away my nicknames for them to her. They didn't care. Never have. Never will. Even though that truth sunk in a long time ago, it decides to hurt me now.
A knock comes at my door and I quickly wipe away my tears and say, "Who is it?"
"It's Cole. Blake wants you to eat atleast something with our guests out of respect." he says. I scoff. Of course he does.
"I will be right there."
"Okay." he says and I hear his footsteps fade away. I shakily take a breath and head downstairs.
"Hey Katherine come sit next to me." Daviel says.
I give him a smile and say, "No Thank You I will just sit next to Cole."
"You will sit next to Dav. And that's final." Alex says as he makes me sit next to Dav.
Cole starts to protest but I give him a look not to.
"Let's eat." Blake says and everyone starts to dig in.
I see Alex feeding Lily and it hurts me to know I never got that but I smile for her. Atleast she got it. I look back down to my plate and continue eating the spaghetti Lucas made. It's good.
Halfway through eating, I feel a hand on my inner thigh. I look to my right and see Daviel already looking at me. Just the feeling of his hand on my thigh makes me want to throw up. I quickly finish up what food was left in my plate when he starts inching his hand towards there.
"May I be excused? I am done eating." I ask Blake. He just waves his hand at me, not even giving me a glance, still gazing at Lily with love in his eyes.
I quickly get up making Daviel's hand fall from where he almost touched me there. I wash my plate and hands and run to my room. I lock it and for the second time that day, I break down against my door.
After 15 minutes or so, I get up, still crying,and head to take a shower. I scrub my thigh until it's red. I still feel disgusted.
After I clean myself to my best extent, I dry myself and put on a lilac oversized hoodie and some black shorts and some long socks.
I then play some music on my phone and get out my sketchbook and decide to draw, the flashbacks of what Daviel did to me coming back. I push them to the back of my mind and concentrate on my sketch.

*30 minutes later*

I come up with an angel sitting by a window but she is chained. I scoff at the irony of how much it describes my situation.
"Katherine our guests are about to leave come down this instant!" Alex yells from downstairs.
I take a deep breath and placing my sketchbook on my desk, I head downstairs.
"I see you changed." Daviel says, eyeing me up and down.
I give him a fake smile and say, "The dress was getting too hot for me. Hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." he says.
Pause.
"Well we are gonna head home. Lily say bye to them."
"Bye Blakey,  Bye Al, Bye Jay-Jay, Bye Luca, Bye Cole,Bye Kate." I smile at her nickname for me and we all say bye to her.
All the brothers go out except Cole.
"Did he do something? Are you okay?" he asks hurriedly.
I take in a shaky breath and say, "He tried to touch me but I stopped it and yeah am okay just shaken up." He pulls me into a hug and I don't resist. He's been the one to always be there for me and even though we aren't as close as before, I still trust and love him.
Suddenly, we hear clapping and we pull away from the hug.
"Wow Katherine. You have got Cole wrapped around your finger. How did you do that?" Alex says calmly. Too calmly.
Everyone piles in and looks at Alex, confused.
"What do you mean?" Jayden asks him.
He chuckles a cold chuckle. "Our sister here is a sl*t." I freeze and so does everyone.
"W-What?" I manage to say.
He then pulls out my phone and shows me my birth pills subscription.Oh no.
"Katherine what is this?" Blake asks. I stay silent.
"She's a sl*t. That's what she is. That's why she takes birth control pills. She's a sl*t. Just like her mother." Alex sneers and that's when I lose it.
"Shut up! Just shut up! You guys keep judging me without knowing me. You don't know what I went through when you guys left or what mom went through after dad died. Everytime I think I can tell you you make me think no I can't. So shut your mouth up!" I yell. Cole pulls me back into his arms and I cry into his chest. They don't understand. They never have. Never will.
"So tell us what happened." Lucas says softly.
I get out of Cole's hold and look at them. But I know I don't trust them.
"No."
"What?"
"No. I don't trust any of you except Cole. So I won't tell you. Go ahead. Judge me. But don't bring mom in. She had to make ends meet. And you all abandoning us did not help." I say as I snatch my phone from Alex and turn around.
I then walk upstairs and locking myself in my room I set my alarm and then I plop down on my bed and cry myself to sleep, knowing that after what happened with Daviel today, nightmares will definitely come.

*nightmare* (trigger warning mentions of sexual abuse/rape skip to the next bold writing if you don't wanna read it.)
Martha sat on the single seater couch on my room as her best friend Daviel tied me to my bed and started undressing me. I cried, begged and thrashed around but to no avail.
"Be quiet or it will be worse, got it?" Martha says and I instantly shut up. This is already bad I don't wanna know what worse is.
"I am gonna have fun with you." Daviel says as he strips after stripping me naked. Tears stream down my face as he starts touching my breasts and starts rubbing me down there. I hate it. Then he suddenly thrusts into me. The pain is excruciating and I struggle to keep a scream in. Slowly he increases his speed as he starts panting heavier and heavier. Suddenly, he shouts, "Am Cumming!" and he cums inside me. He then takes it out and then he goes to kiss me and-
*end of nightmare*
I wake up covered in sweat. I was 5. The time my innocence was taken away from me. And I needed birth control pills from 13.
I check the time. 5:00 am. I can't go to the gym because I don't want to.
Here's something you should know: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a friend with benefits. You might be thinking "such a sl*t." but whenever I have these nightmares, I go to him. He makes me feel wanted, not raped. Weird and sl*tty I know, but that's just who I am.
I get out of bed and slip on a grey hoodie and some black workout shorts.
Once again, I find everyone asleep so I leave a note saying I am going to the gym. I drive to his house and ring the doorbell.
One night stands are kinda my thing. No strings attached and that works for me.
He opens the door and is shocked to see me but lets me in nonetheless.
I smirk and walk in.
He will make me forget about what Daviel did to me. Atleast for a while.
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Hey guys! I hope you liked that chapter. I know it turns out somewhat weird but that's what I had planned her to be. A one night stand kinda girl. Next chapter is gonna be smut since two of you commented you don't mind smut but feel free to skip it!
💜