Worlds Away

Chapter Twenty-Five: Lions

"Nope," Zack said and threw me over his shoulder.

I beat on Zack's bath with my pointy fists. I kept pounding onto his back but it was honestly no use. Zack kicked Rian's front door shut with his foot taking me back into the house. He walked me back downstairs where Alex was not in a screaming match with Jack. Rian started beating on his drums to get their attention and to break it up.

"Hey!" Zack finally shouted loud enough to make everyone fearful.

"I am sick and tired of this! We are going to work this the fuck out or I don't fucking know- I don't want to be associated with any of you. Right now I don't even fucking want to know some of you okay!" Zack shouted while I flinched.

I hadn't been afraid of someone yelling in a while. I flinched at the violence in his words and how they rolled off his tongue to sting. Zack had every intention of making his words stick. He was throwing them in the direction of everyone while we all stood there quiet. No one else seemed to be afraid but me. Everyone had probably watched or heard Zack get angry like this once before and that is why they weren't panicked or scared. I on the other hand felt my chest start to tighten. All the memories came back like a wave washing me back in time.

I bit down on my lip as Jack came over to me telling me to look at him. I could hear the mumbling from around us. I just tried to focus on Jack though. Jack took off his guitar and placed it down on the floor before pulling me down to the floor with him. He laid on the cold concrete floor that Rian had only decorated with a rug. Jack placed a hand over my right ear as he directed my left ear to his chest. I felt his hand brush up and down on my back trying to be as calming as possible.

"Even when-"

"Shut up Alex," Jack and Rian said in sync while I felt the tears violently begin to fall from my eyes.

"Logan?" Rain asked me while I laid on top of Jack.

Jack moved one of his hands and his arm so I could see Rian and make eye contact with him. My breathing had begun to steady as I looked at Rian. Rian was always gentle with me. He put a hand on my back and then moved it toward my arm.

"I don't think Alex meant to be as outburst-ish as he was. I think he is just airing his concern as we all have in private to one another even your parents have," Rian said as Jack just kept rubbing my back.

"But- But..." I choked on my tears and words.

I felt Alex's glare against my back making me flinch again. Jack stopped rubbing my back to put an arm around my waist. I felt his hand rub up against my ribs as I felt bitterly guilt and like I was going to be sick. I wanted to fight with Jack as I felt his eyes shut and he placed a kiss against my temple.

"It's okay Lo, we aren't mad. We just want you to get better. Like truly better not just for us or for Jack. If you need a reason to get better, get better for Harrison. Honestly, that boy would be lost without you and I don't think Ryleigh will be able to handle parenthood alone," Rian said and I nodded my head slightly.

Rian went put his handout while Zack handed him something. It was a banana one of my least favorite fruit ever. Not only was it in a funny shape, I simply hated bananas. It was something I didn't crave not even once while I was pregnant which I thank whatever is out there for. I looked at Rian as he peeled the Banana and handed it to Jack. Jack sat us both up and held me in his lap.

"Here baby girl," Jack whispered while handing me the Banana.

I took a few small bites of the banana before Alex came over and squatted in front of Jack and I. I hurried my head into Jack's chest pressing the banana into his t-shirt unintentionally. I felt Jack giggle making a sexual comment as Zack smacked the back of his head.

"I owe you an apology. I'm sorry I lashed out. I just wish sometimes you'd realize all the shit you put us through. You ran away, you tried to kill yourself multiple times, like Logan at some point you have to be an adult and while I don't think any of us are there yet. You and Jack have a kid and a responsibility to him. I just wish that I could show you how much it hurts all of us seeing what you are doing," Alex said sighing before looking at me again.

He moved his hand to touch me while I flinched away. Alex sighed understanding that he really hurt my feelings before Zack came over and sat at Jack's feet messing with Jack's shoes. I pulled my head out of Jack's neck and began to eat the banana again taking small bites. I was about halfway through the banana when I offered it to Jack.

"Lo, you really need-" Jack said sighing at me.

"I'll take it LB," Alex said and put his hand out for the banana.

I placed the banana in his hand quickly before pulling my hand away. Everyone watched the interactions carefully as I buried my head into Jack's neck again. I could feel the vibrations of when Jack would talk or say something but I felt bitterly tired.

"Jack do you want to go ahead and leave since you obviously aren't going to be getting any practice any?" Alex suggested but it came out more like a question.

I released Jack slowly before crawling off him and moving toward the sofa so that way Jack could practice. Alex looked at me while Rian got set back at his drums understanding what I was doing. Alex moved over toward me keeping his distance though. He put out a hand for me. I took his hand a little afraid he would hurt me but I knew Alex.

"I am really sorry LB. It has just been killing me. You went from being pregnant and healthy to being like a skeleton. I get afraid of you dying and how we would all pull together," Alex whispered in my ear as I moved close to him.

I could tell Alex was fighting back the tears just as I was. I moved onto Alex's lap and hugged him as we both cried now. Alex was crying because he felt guilty and because he cared for me. I was crying realizing all the people I had hurt. I was hurting more than just myself which subconsciously I knew. At the same time, I felt as though maybe everyone would treat me better or would like me more if I was small again.

"We're going to get through this," Alex whispered pulling a hand through my hair brushing it.

It was almost like he was convincing himself. I looked at him and put my hands on either side of his shoulders.

"We will get through this," I whispered as Alex kissed the top of my forehead.