A Baby By Bestie

10: Massages and a Kiss

After a filling bowl of lasagna and a glass or two wine, we settled onto my couch in front of the smart TV with a tub of vanilla ice cream and chocolate chip cookies. We found a compilation of reruns and cut scenes from the old Tom and Jerry series and snuggled into a comfortable silence as we watched and filled the little spaces left in our tummies.

I glanced at Rick's left arm, wrapped around my torso as I rested my head on his chest like we used to when we'd decide not go out on Friday nights with the crew. Now, it felt the same, at 26 years old we felt great watching the animation that has lived with us through our entire childhood, because really, one is never too old for the cat and mouse game.

"Ari," Rick softly grabbed my attention.

"Mmm?" Tom ran into a brick wall. I cracked up.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. I've been trying not to think about that. "I'm okay." Am I?

He rubbed my upper arms up and down and I found myself relaxing visibly like I was on edge this whole time. I sighed in content. "You sure, bestie?"

I leaned back into him some more and closed my eyes just as the two crazy animals started wreaking havock in their kitchen. "Now, I am."

He chuckled softly and I felt it vibrate inside his warm chest. "How do you think today went?"

"Wonderful, considering that I still don't know what you think." My voice didn't sound like mine as I gradually slip into oblivion as Rick's hands moved from my arms to my shoulders. I felt the knots there all but kneel down to his touch. Oh! This is good... I never thought I needed a massage until now.

"Well," he said in a calm, steady voice almost lulling me to sleep and peaking my curiosity at the same time, sort of pulling me in. "All that Dr. Cheryl explained today makes me feel like I'd be lining my DNA up a test subject. One part of me is eager to see if this will actually work, if we choose a method. And another part of me... Is scared."

"Why?"

"For the most part, the procedures involve you. What if you get hurt? Or what if it doesn't work out and you're disappointed? What if I disappoint you again?" He let out a heavy sigh, fingers pausing a bit and my eyes flew open.

I sat up and turned to face him, placing a hand on his cheek. "What do you mean by... again?"

He took a deep breath and held my hands, removing the one on his cheek. "I mean, I've let you down before. I'll never forgive myself if I can't help you." His stare into my eyes were glossy as if he was struggling not to tear up.

"Aaawww, Ricky." I said moving closer to give him a hug. "Don't worry about that. Whatever happens, I will never be disappointed in you. Even if you decide to back out now."

He shook his no with vigour. "I won't, I swear. I just want you to know that whatever decision you go with, I'm with you on it."

This made me smile so wide, I think my face would be stuck that way. "That mean the world to me, Ricky."

We stayed there observing each other for a while, the TV and dessert seemingly forgotten. He reached out and lifted a stray strand of hair from my face and I was suddenly aware of how close we actually were. I felt the warmth that radiated from his body and the heat that appeared in his eyes. I heard erotic heartbeats and wasn't sure if it was coming from me or Rick and somehow I ended up straddling him.

His hands laid at his sides, balled in tight fists and his eyes shifted to everywhere without really settling on anything in particular. A sign that said he was nervous as hell, paired with his deathly quietness. A voice in the back of my head whisper shouted at me to get up but something unknown kept me in place and slowly pulled me in.

Before I knew it I had placed a tiny kiss on his full lips and was about to run away when a hand came to grip the back of my head and held me in place. He kissed me back, something I wasn't counting on and managed to set off an explosion of emotions that burnt me from the inside. A tiny moan escaped my lips as he pulled me in closer so I pressed against him and never felt the need to fight back. I felt trapped and I somehow loved it.

It was when we separated for air, the realization hit me and I shot to my feet. "Ohmygosh!"

"Ari-"

"Oh, look at the time! It's super late. Work tomorrow. I gotta get some sleep. Goodnight! Bye! Later! Adios!" I rambled as I quickly shuffled up the stairs to my room, leaving a dumfounded Rick still sitting on my couch.

But tomorrow is Sunday and mother was coming over. Holy shit! Mother! I totally forgot! I just kissed my best friend! Mother is coming over! She'll be freaking thrilled!

I closed the door calming, a vast contrast to the turmoil raging inside my chest, stomach, limbs and core. I stumbled to my adjoining bathroom and stared at a stranger in the mirror. An I-just-got-kissed-breathless look was plastered on my lips and almost tomato red face. If my face was any lighter I'd be a freaking fire engine.

I felt like slapping myself senseless. What was I even thinking? I wasn't thinking actually. I couldn't hide the fact, however that it felt unbearably awesome and there is a possibility that I'd let it happen again. That is, if he'd let me... Oh my gosh, Ari, stop! I have a headache. Ugh!

I slowly got myself ready for bed,  donned an oversized t-shirt and crawled into bed for a night of fitful sleep.