A Baby By Bestie

12: I Wish I Hate You!

And Rick and I kissed last night! And today... Today he sort not denied that he loves me. And and and... What about me? How do I feel? Why don't mother just give up on being my freaking cupid?!

I grabbed a pillow from the pile behind me and hugged it tightly to my chest. I trembled as the unwilling tears barreled down my face. I'm crying now! How wonderful. "I wish I hate you Ricky. I so wish I hate you! I want to. I really do."

I sat there for a while and strained my ears to pick out the tiny sounds of my mother and Rick moving around in my house. It's the loudest it has been in years. Soon I was starving but I had no intention of leaving my room so I started searching it for snacks. I usually have something to munch on whenever I feel peckish or bored so I was sure a light snack was hiding somewhere in my bedroom.

I eventually found a small pan of Planter's salted peanuts, some half eaten cheddar cheese Pringles and a bottle of water. I checked their expiration dates and was satisfied with them as I settled back into my bed and pulled up netflix on my tablet.

I was halfway through a Goosebumps movie when a knock came from the bottom of my door. It caused me to look down instead of the general direction one would look when your bedroom door is knocked. I watched in curiosity as something white slipped through the minuscule space that separates the bottom of the door to my tiled floor. Purely out of the need to know, I stopped my movie and went to examine the thing. It was a white, paper napkin cut to the shape of a neat triangle and glued to a skewer with the words "I come in peace" marked on it.

I shook my head and tried to resent the smile that lit up my face. I had a feeling that Ricky was standing before my door. I picked up my pen and scribbled onto the makeshift peace flag. "What do you want?"

I shoved it back under the door and waited, sitting down on the cool floor. "I just want to know if you're okay and if you've eaten."

Aaaawww, stop! I suddenly forgot why I was even upset a while ago. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks." I sent the message.

"Cool. Moxie said you'll be out soon, but I doubt it. I'll check on you later, okay?" I can definitely see why mom wants me to marry him. If sweet was a person, it'd be Ricky. I'd say the same thing about sexy.

"Okay :)” I took my time and drew a smiley face before I sent my final message and got up. A single golden circular object slid towards me as I rose and I picked it up to find that it was one of those chocolates wrapped into gold foils so that it looked like a coin.

This is too sweet. I wasn't referring to the candy though. I tried not to think about the weird flutter in my stomach that was probably what they call butterflies. But after a while of its persistence I picked up my phone and dialed the only person I knew I could maybe talk to.

"Hey, Ari. What's up, you okay? You don't usually call me on Sundays." Samantha sounded busy over the soft but energetic dance music that played in the background. The kids are back!

"I'm so sorry Sam, I just really want to talk. Like really talk this time. No stubborn business." I said. It was the fastest I have ever spoken in ever.

For a minute all I could hear was the static from the phone in my ears. Then she replied with a seemingly controlled single word as if she was trying not to squeal in excitement. "Okay."

I waited for nothing in particular and felt my hand slip a little from the phone as it started to sweat. The background sound on the other side of the line decreased and Samantha spoke again. "Go ahead, I'm listening."

I took a deep breath. "So we kissed last night-"

A gasp, "No!"

I nodded, "yes! And the crazy thing is I actually like it. And mom is here and she's adamant that we get married and we had this argument so now I'm in my room and I don't want to come out and I know it sounds like I'm acting like a child but it's just because I don't want to have anymore of these conversations with her!" I took a huge deep breath and continued to literally word vomit.

"I liked it. I can't believe I'm saying this but I want more and I don't know if he knows or if he wants the same thing. But he came up to visit me a while ago and was being so incredibly sweet..." I trailed off. I sounded like a freaking preteen who just experienced when her lifelong crush finally noticed her for the first time. Great.

"Wow." Samantha said as if she has absolutely nothing with sense to add. "Damn."

Oh God! "What?"

"I don't know. This is amazing. I've never heard you talk so much before, and like that."

My eyebrows crumpled up, "how?"

"Like a love struck idiot." She said then added, "forgive me, I'm not in my psychiatrist mode so take me as a friend."

I sighed, "firstly, I may be an idiot right now, but I'm not love struck. And it's okay, Sam."

"No, what you are is in denial."

"I'm no-"

"So what're you going to do about it?" She asked as I was about to argue.

"I don't know, what do you mean?"

I could just feel her rolling her eyes at me. "You should let him know. It's good to talk about these things. Clear the air. He might just feel the same way."

I sighed again, this time a little down. "And what if he doesn't feel the same?"

"He's your best friend. You'll work things out." Was her simple but complex answer. I was left wanting more information but had no clue how to get myself to ask for it.

"Okay, Sam." I said and bid her goodbye with a thanks.

At lunch time I forced myself out of my room to grab a sandwich and run back to safety. I gave myself a long bath for dinner because I had too much nervous energy in my body to feel hungry by this time. Why was I nervous? Uhhh, I don't know. Probably because I was actually thinking about telling my best friend that I may or may not be attracted to his sexy lips.

I was wrapped up in a mid-thigh, silk robe that exploited my cleavage, trying to paint my toenails when my door told me that someone was outside again. I pulled it open and almost wet my panties at the gorgeous dimpled grin that greeted me on the other side.

"She just left." Rick said, offering me a plate of food. It took a short while before his coffee colored eyes left mine and traveled over my body, seemingly on their own accord.