Cause of my Euphoria | Yeonbin ✓

【05】

Yeonjun stepped back, feeling like he'd been slapped. Soobin, himself, was looking red and flustered as he glared at the older.

The latter could not recognize the man in front of him. Where was the man who begged Yeonjun for a date?

Where was the affectionate man who never left home without kissing him goodbye?

Where was his loving boyfriend who enveloped him in his warmth in the cold mornings and brought him flowers for no reason?

Where was his Soobin?

Something wet and warm fell from his eye and slid down his cheek as he stared at the unrecognizable man in front of him, who now bore a guilty look. And that look alone clenched at his heart, squeezing until there was nothing left.

"Did I do something wrong?" Yeonjun whispered, more to himself than to Soobin. "Did I say something or do something that pushed you away?"

Soobin stayed silent, his eyes wide as he stared back at the older.

Yeonjun continued his questions. "Am I ugly? Did you finally realize that you dated someone unattractive?"

"Yeonjun, stop."

"Do I nag you too much? Do I talk too much?"

"Stop it, Yeonjun!"

"Or maybe I was the one who stopped paying attention to you? Did I neglect you, Soobin?"

"Yeonjun!"

"Or maybe I'm boring, right? Do I bore you, Soobin? Are you bored of-."

"Yes!" Soobin blurted out.

With that one word, Yeonjun felt his entire world crash. But, it didn't stop there. Because like Yeonjun, it seemed that Soobin also had a lot to say.

"Yes, I'm bored! I'm bored of just staying in and watching DVDs all the time! I'm bored of the same old cafes and restaurants and movie theaters! I'm bored of going straight home from work! I'm bored of seeing the same faces every day! I want to go out drinking and hanging out with my friends! I want to meet new people! Okay?! I miss the old days! I miss the old me, the one who could have fun without needing to text or call someone to let them know just because they're waiting for me at home! I miss my freedom! I want my life back!"

Silence echoed in the alley. The Club's upbeat party music and the honks of passing cars sounded distant.

Soobin ran a hand through his face. "Look... I... I can't deal with this right now," he said, tone much calmer now.

And to add salt to the wound, the younger turned around and entered the Club again, leaving Yeonjun in the alley to nurse his broken heart.

+×+

He didn't know how he managed to get home without Taehyun, but he did. Everything that happened after the alley was a bit of a blur, but as soon as he stepped foot into the cold apartment, he went straight into the bedroom.

He felt like a robot as he went about taking a suitcase from the top shelf of their closet, grabbing some of his clothes in the process. He could barely register the sniffles, the tears falling from his eyes, and the tightening in his chest.

He ignored the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and his shaking hands as he stuffed shirts and pants and random shoes into the suitcase, not even sure if they were his or the other's.

Suddenly, his phone rang, interrupting his packing. Yeonjun picked it up to see that it was his brother, probably calling to ask where he was. Instead of answering, he hung up the call and switched the phone off before turning his attention back to the half-full suitcase.

What was he doing? Was he really going to run away like some rebellious teenager, just like that? This was his home too, so why did he have to leave?

But, what was the point of staying? Soobin had made it clear: he was bored with Yeonjun. He was bored of their simple relationship.

He felt like being with Yeonjun was taking away his freedom and his life. Yeonjun was a burden.

The older's knees finally gave way and he sunk onto the floor next to the bed, heaving as the tears streamed down his face. The aching in his chest multiplied tenfold as he curled up into himself.

Despite everything that the younger said... Despite the hurt... Why could he not find it in himself to hate Soobin?

And furthermore... why couldn't he bear to leave?

Because he loves Soobin more than he thinks he does. 

------------

Sorrrryyyyyyyyy :(

Well, not everytime everything is full of sunshines and rainbows so...

Anyway lemme know your thoughts :)