Cause of my Euphoria | Yeonbin ✓

【09】

A month later, he wanted to believe that things were getting better. But the truth was, it just wasn't. The tiny crack caused by Soobin's selfishness slowly grew day-by-day. And to the younger's despair, Yeonjun was now doing that Soobin was doing before; he started giving him the cold shoulder.

It had started small, at first.

Some days, he would wake up to an empty bed, only to find Yeonjun already awake and making breakfast. They would eat together, make small talk, and the older would leave for work. On those days, Soobin wouldn't get a good-bye kiss like he would have had a year ago.

Soobin had stopped going out drinking with his co-workers after the workday and started heading straight home after, only to find that Yeonjun wasn't home yet. It wasn't until later that he found out the older was having coffee with Taehyun after work; they apparently started doing it when Soobin had started coming home late all those months ago.

"You can go out with your friends after work, Soobin," Yeonjun told him when Soobin asked about it. "I don't mind."

But Soobin, himself, minded. He didn't want to fall back into that habit again!

Yeonjun had also stopped calling him with his nicknames. "Bin", "Binnie", and "Soobunny" were all replaced with just plain old "Soobin." The younger had to admit, he really missed the way the older would affectionately call out to him with these nicknames.

And what more was that there was now an annoying pillow in between them in bed. Even if Soobin wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around Yeonjun, he couldn't do it.

Several times, he tried to bring up the issue with Yeonjun, to talk to him and possibly mend the crack that was slowly tearing them apart. But, just like Soobin all those months ago, Yeonjun would avoid the question or pretend that he didn't hear it.

Unlike Soobin, however, he never exploded in anger or showed irritation. He was just... nonchalant.

That felt even worse than angry outbursts.

"What can I do, Jun?" he asked the older one day.

Yeonjun just responded with wide, startled eyes before morphing back into a somber look. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"What can I do to make you happy again?" Soobin bravely asked.

And again, the older only smiled a small smile. "But I am happy with you, Soobin," he responded before excusing himself from the room.

That response only shot an arrow at his already aching heart.

Soobin hated seeing that blank and contemplative look that seemed to grace Yeonjun's face these days. He missed the brightness in the elder's eyes, his smile, and his laugh. He wished Yeonjun would just talk to him. But there was nothing he could do except try and try to earn his way back into his boyfriend's heart.

He knew his boyfriend loved him; it showed. But... Yeonjun's trust and faith in him had been crushed because of his foolishness.

Soobin had no one to blame but himself.

----

"You look miserable."

"Shut up, Mark."

Soobin's co-worker could only cluck his tongue at him, disapprovingly. "You know, you could just say this one little word called 'sorry'," he continued mocking the other.

Soobin glared at him. "You think I haven't tried?"

Mark raised an eyebrow at him, skeptically.

"Okay, fine, I didn't exactly... say it," Soobin admitted. "I... have a little trouble with apologizing... But I try to show it!"

The other looked like he didn't believe him at all.

"Like... what more does Yeonjun want from me?!" Soobin continued, the stress and irritation taking over again. "I did everything I could! I come home on time, I cook for him, I even ask him on dates! And he's still acting like this!" Resigned, he dropped his face into his hands, groaning, pathetically. "I don't know what else to do."

Mark was quiet for a moment before bluntly saying, "Here's an idea, just say you're sorry, asshole!"

"I'm trying!" Soobin lifted his head, pouting tiredly at his co-worker. "But I'm not good at it. I've done a lot of stupid things and Jun has always forgiven me. But this time..."

"This time you really hurt him, I know," Mark said. "You rant about it almost every day. Look, I don't agree with Yeonjun's little tantrum, it's childish. But then again, so were you, so you kind of deserve it."

The other groaned again in frustration.

"Word of advice, Choi Soobin. Next time, when you have an issue about your relationship, don't expect Yeonjun to just know about it or figure it out because you ignored him for a couple of months. Tell him? It will save you all this misery. You showed him that you're sorry, great. Now, say it to him. Take the initiative for once."

Soobin wanted to retort something sassy but could not find the words. Because deep in his heart, he knew that Mark was right.

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Hope you liked it :)