Cause of my Euphoria | Yeonbin ✓

【15】

All the way home, Soobin tried to call his boyfriend, but the latter's phone must be on silent or something because he wouldn't answer. Nonetheless, Soobin left him messages, pleading with him to please come home early so they could talk.

He bought Indian takeout again and a bouquet of flowers and hoped that with these simple gestures, he could start fixing the cracks.

The apartment was quiet and empty when he arrived, so Soobin assumed that Yeonjun was still out with Taehyun or Beomgyu.

He left the food in the kitchen and the flowers on the coffee table as he went to their bedroom to change. As soon as he stepped into the room, Soobin was suddenly overcome by feelings of unease and dread. Something felt different... but, what, he could not point out.

That was when he noticed their dresser. He and Yeonjun had three frames of photos of the two of them on top of it. But, one of them was missing. And the dresser drawers were partly open as well...

Eyes wide at the sudden realization, Soobin ran to the closet and pulled the door open. Half of the closet was clear. One of the suitcases above was also missing.

"N-No," Soobin stammered, staring disbelievingly at the half-empty closet. "Nonononono..."

He reached into his pocket for his cellphone, scrolling through his contacts as he fought the sting of tears on his eyes.

This couldn't be happening! He was about to fix their relationship! He couldn't be gone!

The line rang three times before it went directly to voicemail. Cursing to himself, Soobin dialed again... and again... and again... until he was sent directly to voicemail, indicating that the phone was turned off.

"Y-Yeonjun..." he sobbed into the phone, his heart breaking into several pieces. "S-Yeonjun... please... come home... I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it..." His weak legs could no longer hold him as he sunk onto the floor, heaving as the tears fell down his cheeks. "Please... Let's talk about this... J-Junnie... Babe... I love you... Please... Don't leave me..."

But, it was too late. Soobin had waited too long.

Yeonjun had left him.

+×+

He knocked fervently on the door, calling out for the person inside it to come out. He knew he was probably disturbing the neighbors and they would most likely call security on him very soon, but he didn't care. He needed this apartment door to open.

Finally, he heard the click of a lock and the door swung open, revealing a sleepy-eyed Beomgyu with disheveled hair. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the older male.

"Oh, it's you," he said, blankly. "What do you want, Soobin hyung ?"

Without answering, Soobin pushed past him and into the apartment.

"Yeonjun?! Yeonjun! Please talk to me! We need to talk!" he began yelling.

Beomgyu shut the door close. "Hyung is not here," he stated.

Another door opened and Kai popped his head out. "Who is that? Soobin hyung ? Will you shut up, I'm trying to study!"

"He's looking for Yeonjun- hyung " Beomgyu stated, glaring at the older male who was frantically checking every room, calling out for his brother.

Soobin turned to the younger Choi brother with pleading eyes. "Gyu, please," he begged, lips quivering. "Please tell me where he is!"

"He's not here, that's for sure," the other replied. "And a good thing too. He can be away from you."

That sent a pang straight to Soobin's heart as his desperation grew. He had already gone to Taehyun's, but the other male had told him that Yeonjun never even called him that day. He even allowed Soobin to search his apartment, but he wasn't there. His last hope had been Beomgyu because if there was anyone else that Yeonjun trusted the most, it was his brother.

But, if Yeonjun wasn't at his brother's apartment, then where was he?!

He grasped the younger's arm and pleaded with him. "Please, I need to talk to him. I need to fix this-."

"It's too late, hyung ," replied Beomgyu, coolly. "And I can't tell you where he is. Not knowing that you're just going to chase after him."

"Beomgyu, please-."

"Soobin hyung ," Kai interrupted, gently. "I think it's best that you leave Yeonjun hyung to himself for a while. Let him think and get his feelings together. I'm sure when he's ready, he'll talk to you."

Soobin stared at the maknae with tear-filled eyes. "He left me, Ningie," he said in a broken voice.

His legs weakening, he dropped to the floor, heaving as his fists clenched and tears streamed down his face.

"H-He left m-me... A-And it's all my f-fault..."

That was a month ago.

No matter how many times he had gone to see Beomgyu and Taehyun, begging them to tell him where the older man was, they refused to say (or in Taehyun's case, didn't know where he was at all since Yeonjun never told him). He even went to his office building to ask his co-workers, only to be told that the older had filed for leave.

Soobin tried to live normally again, but, how could he? How could he go back to normal when he no longer had Yeonjun around him? How could he wake up in a cold bed and smile every day when he didn't have anything to smile about?

How could he enjoy a meal when he had no one to share it with? How could he enjoy a night out with his colleagues when there was no one waiting for him at home?

He still occasionally called Yeonjun's phone and left him messages. They were never answered, of course, but he couldn't find it in himself to stop. By this point, it was borderline harassment and he was even surprised that Yeonjun hadn't reported him or changed his number yet.

But, that gave him hope... just a little hope that maybe the older still had feelings for him, even after he hurt him.

"Hey, Junnie," he said into the phone after it was sent to voicemail. "How are you today? Me, I'm still missing you every day. I saw our neighbor Mr. Kim walking his scooby on my way home today. I remembered how afraid you were of him." He chuckled, fondly. "Remember when you used to hide behind me when they passed? I think he was looking for you today... the dog, not Mr. Choi." He chuckled again before his smile morphed into a frown. "I'm not giving up on you, Yeonjun. I love you too much to let you go just like that. I miss you so much..."

With one last "I love you", he hung up and fell back into his bed, staring up blankly at the ceiling. He turned his head to the empty spot beside him and felt the heaviness in his chest again. So, he grabbed Yeonjun's pillow and hugged it closer, breathing in the elder's scent still on it. It wasn't Yeonjun, but it would do for now.

He fell asleep, whispering "sorry's" to the person he wished was there holding him.

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