you saved me// a jaden hossler story.

how i was broken...

I woke up with the feeling that I was being watched. I opened my eyes slowly and saw jaden looking at me.

J: hey rosie, how you feeling?

Then it hit me. All the memories of this morning just came rushing back. I got up and sprinted to the toilet and threw up. Jaden ran after me and held my hair back as I was sick.

J: it's okay rose, you're okay

R: it hurts
I started to cry

J: I know, it's all gonna be okay

He held me as i collapsed into him. I couldnt stop crying, I cried until I couldnt cry anymore. Jaden stroked my hair like he usually did and I slowly stopped crying but it still hurt. It hurt so bad.

R: jae?

J: yeah

R: why wasnt I.. enough for him

J: hey. Listen to me.
He turned my head to face him and looked me in the eyes

J: you are, and will always be good enough. He didnt deserve you and he just couldnt see the amazing girl he had.

R: it just feels like maybe i just didnt give him what he needed

J: it's not your fault rose, i promise.

I just laid my head on his shoulder. He carried me back to his bed.

R: jae could you get bryce to come up here please?

J: of course

A few minutes later Bryce came into the room and sat on the bed.

B: how you feeling rosie?
He gave me a sorry smile

R: it hurts
A tear fell from my eye but he wiped it away and hugged me

B: he didnt deserve you, you didnt need him anyway

R: thank you bryce

B: do you wanna tell me what happened or maybe another time?

R: maybe later, can we go to target and get snacks and then watch a movie.. with jaden too

B: sure, I'll go get in the car. Come down when you're ready

I smiled and he left. I put on black sweats and a black hoodie with the hood up and then my airforces. I didnt bother taking my phone or doing my hair or makeup because I just couldn't look at myself. Everytime i saw myself all i could see was this broken girl who was abused, raped and cheated on.

I got in the car and jaden and bryce were already in there. Jaden sat in the back with me while Bryce drove.
We got to target and got our snacks, I got sour patch kids and popcorn. We drove home and the three of us cuddled up in jadens bed whilst watching Harry Potter.

I fell asleep half way through the second movie and woke up a little later. Bryce was gone but jaden was asleep next to me. I felt numb. I couldn't feel anything. No pain. No sadness. No happiness. Nothing. It's like I know the pain is there but i cant feel it anymore. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Tears ran slowly down my cheeks but I wasnt sad. All I wanted was to feel, something, anything.
⚠️TW⚠️
I grabbed a razor and snapped out the blade.. I dug it into my wrist and dragged it along, I felt it. I was so relieved to feel something that I didnt notice jaden waking up, he looked over at me in the bathroom and ran out of bed...

Issys notes:
Shes broken :(. This hurt to write because sometimes I feel this way. If anyone ever needs to talk then please let me know. You all deserve to be here and ily<3
🦋