A Realization | kurooxkenma (Haikyuu)

2. the recovery

That night - Kenma's house

Kuroo's POV

I was about fourteen years old when I realized I had fallen for Kenma. It's a pretty simple story actually, we were at the park sitting on the swings and talking to each other about who knows what. I remember not listening to what he was telling me because I was so distracted by my own thoughts. All I could think about while he was talking to me was how much I was truly head over heels in love. We were complete opposites, yet we always had each other's backs. I was always there to protect him and he was always there to keep me on my feet. As a kid, I always felt that Kenma and I had a way stronger friendship than I with any of my other friends. But now I realize it was love.

But it's never going to work. There might be some flirting here and there with Kenma, but that's how it's always been. My closeted bisexual ass will never even be ready to come out to him, yet tell him that I'm in fucking love with him. I guess this is just the way it is. It's funny cause even though Kenma is pansexual, he's never shown a single sign of liking a single being. And I'm allowed to say that because I've been friends with him for fucking ever.

Kenma's POV

I woke up feeling slightly tired. I was in my room and it looked like it was early in the morning. I looked around and heard quiet snoring coming from the floor of my room. Kuroo was sleeping on my hardwood floor with only a blanket and pillow. I watched him as he breathed heavily. For some reason, Kuroo was very attractive when he slept, but I had to wake him.

"Kuro." I whispered. He wouldn't budge. I tried squeezing his arm, but he still wouldn't wake up. Kuroo slept like an absolute log and I'll be honest, it was the cutest thing ever. I stood up and crawled on top of him, straddling his stomach. I held his face and shook it slightly. "Kuro wake up." His eyes opened and they glued to mine immediately. "Hey kitten." He said and slowly sat up, making me slide down to his lap. "This is a nice thing to wake up to." He said with a raspy voice. We were face to face and our eyes were glued on each other. I felt a slight urge to lean in, but I had to stop myself.  Kuroo was just my friend, he'd never want anything more.

I got off of him and helped him up, then I pulled him onto my comfy warm bed. He giggled as I pulled the covers over us and turned over so my back was facing him. Every second I felt him moving closer to me, which I didn't mind. I was almost asleep as I felt his arm wrap around me and his body up against me.  I was too sleepy to protest his random decision to cuddle, so I fell back asleep in his arms.

That morning - 6:00 am

Kuroo's POV

"Kuro, we have to wake up. It's still Nationals, we have another game today." Kenma whispered. I refused to budge as he shook me slightly harder. "Mehhhhh." I groaned. "How are you not excited about volleyball right now?" He wondered. But I couldn't tell him why. Right now I was in Kenma's bed, right next to him. Why the hell would I want out of this situation?? But I didn't want to make it seem like I enjoyed Kenma's bed more than volleyball, so I sat up. "I am excited about volleyball, I'm just tired." I yawned.

"I guess coach isn't going to want me to play." Kenma shrugged. "Oh no, coach wants you to play kitten." I smirked and pushed his hair behind his ear. "You are the heart of our team after all. But you can't, the doctor said you had to take a one day break. Cause even though it wasn't that bad of a concussion, she still wanted you to be cautious." I smiled as I sat in front of him. Kenma didn't seem that bothered about sitting out of the game because he's communicated with me that he doesn't really like volleyball. But I know for a fact that there was apart of him who was bummed. It's Nationals after all, and we've moved on to the next round. Even if I didn't really like volleyball, I'd still want to win a crazy title like that.

"Okay well since you're up, we've got to eat and get going." Kenma sighed. I agreed, and just as I was about to stand up, Kenma crawled over me by grabbing onto my shoulders and basically sitting on my lap again. He slowly moved over me like the guy was TRYING to make a move on me. What is he doing to me? This was not fair. I tried to keep myself together as he got off of me and slowly walked out of the room. "Are you coming?" I heard him yell from down the hallway. That guy easily got on my nerves, yet I'm sure that he didn't even mean to tease me.

I walked into the kitchen after throwing on some clothes. Kenma had made me some food and he was sitting on the counter eating already. I grabbed my food and leaned my lower back against the counter across from him, while digging in. We ate in silence and it didn't bother either of this because we do this very often. Kenma's parents are never home so we aren't disturbing them, and we always make sure to clean up before we leave. Every day it got harder for me because the more time I spent with Kenma (which is all the time), I just fell harder for him. I wish he would tell me if he liked someone so that I could use that to get over him. But until that happens, this is going nowhere.

"Kenma." I said. "Hm?" He replied, while finishing his mouthful. "Do you like anyone?" I wondered. I noticed him get slightly uncomfortable. "Uh well- no, not really?" He said, sounding really unsure. "You don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it. I don't know, I just find it kinda funny how you know that you're pansexual, yet you've never told me about a single person you've liked." I pointed out and crossed my arms. Kenma sighed as he finished his last bite. "Fine." He let out. I narrowed my eyes and watched him wash his dishes.

Kenma's POV

"Here's how it works for me Kuro." I started. "I think it's reasonable for myself to identify as pansexual because I don't just look at girls and think yup they're cool. And I don't just do that for guys either. A person can be whatever they want to be and I'll still think they're cool. I've never felt the need to like someone to know that's how I feel. I don't care, I'll like someone when I like someone." I finished, wanting to take back that last thing I had said. Cause I did in fact like someone at the moment. "I'm sorry." He said while looking down.

"No it's okay Kuro, I'll promise I'll keep you updated about my love life." I said while grabbing his hand. Making that the second lie of the day, cause at this rate, I would've had to tell him years ago that I was in love with him. But it doesn't matter. Kuroo only likes girls so- wait, does Kuro only like girls? "Hey, while we're having this conversation, I meant to ask you about your love life." I smiled. He looked slightly frightened. "Yeah, what about it?" He giggled. "You're straight right?" I asked, getting straight to the point. Kuroo flinched from surprise, I assume, after I asked him that. He hesitated to answer.

"I- uh, I'm still figuring that out." He said while looking nervous. "What? What are you talking about?" I said, feeling my heart start to race. "I swear you have another girl over every other night?" I laughed. "I do not!" Kuroo crossed his arms. "Uh- yes you do! Every other night might be an exaggeration but- Kuro, I'm literally your neighbour, I see every girl that walks into your house." I laughed again. This topic is always very humorous for me. "That's none of your business." Kuroo stated, as he turned around and started to walk away. "You're right, I'm sorry. But you don't know if you're fully straight?" I questioned.

Kuroo's POV

Did I really just come out to Kenma? For real? Am I that desperate?? I turned back around to him. "There are a couple of hot guys at our school?" I lied, there was only one. "Kuroo! Are you bisexual??" Kenma yelled. I ran up to him and covered his mouth. "Yes, and what about it? What about my sexuality makes you so excited?" I hissed. He pulled my hands down. "I'm just completely shocked, I don't know?" He smiled. Holy shit he's so fucking cute. What if I made a move? He knows I like guys-

"We've got to head out now, come on, grab your bag." Kenma said, interrupting my thoughts. I'm kinda thankful that he did that though, otherwise I probably would've made a mistake. I followed him out the door and we made our way to the train station that was conveniently near our houses. I must've been visibly stressed because Kenma gave me a weird look. "Is everything okay Kuro?" He asked me. He grabbed my face and examined it, which made me more stressed. "You're sweating Kuro, did you catch a cold?" He noted. "No no no, I'm okay, just nervous for today, that's all." I lied, but he didn't notice. "Keep it together forehead, or we aren't going to make it to the next round."