dean and i had an argument a day ago. he told me "if you're gonna refuse to listen when sam and i tell you to stay back on a hunt, then i don't want to be with you. if you can't listen to simple instructions, figure out how to listen to this one." i haven't spoken to him since. i just couldn't believe he put our relationship on the line like that just because i wanted to help out.
sam,dean,and i are at the harvells bar. ellen is at the bar getting some drinks. sam is sitting with me, dean is off talking with jo a couple tables away. dean keeps looking back at me but then looks back at jo. they're gigging a lot and making googly eyes at each other. good for him. as much as it makes me sick to my stomach, dean does was dean does. i look back at dean then i look back down at the table swirling my whiskey around my glass. sam looks down at me and says "hey, don't get caught up in dean. he does things on impulse. he's just trying to mess with your head. he's really sorry i know it. you're special to him." i roll my eyes and then i hear jo say "wow dean, you're looking really good today." he laughs nervously. i tell sam "he doesn't care anymore. lemme see the keys for a minute.." he sets the keys on the table. i swipe them up in my hand and stand up. sam says "y/n.." so i say "save it sam. dean doesn't want this anymore. so i'll head out." i walk toward the door and kick it open with my foot and walk to the impala. meanwhile inside sam yells "y/n!" he then walks over to dean and say "you need to fix this. she's leaving. you messed up big time."
i get in the impala and i start it but i don't go anywhere. i think about the thought of loosing dean permanently and it's not a life i want to live in. i see dean run out the front door looking for me but then he realized i was in the impala. he starts walking toward me. i start to back up but he gets in the way so i can't move anymore. i put the car in park and i rest my head against the wheel. he walks over to the window and knocks on it. i don't lift up my head. so he starts saying "come on. open up. talk to me. y/n... please." i lift up my head, i unlock the car, but i don't look at him. i finally wipe the tears from my face then look up at him. i open the door, he backs away and lets me get out. i throw the keys at him and start walking back toward the entrance to the bar. dean comes up from behind me and grabs my hand. he says "hey, wait. talk to me. what happened??" i turn around so he sees my red, tear filled eyes. at that moment he saw the broken heart in the pupils of my eyes. the emotion wiped right off his face as the tear rolled down my face. i finally say "what is there to talk about? first you put our relationship on the line just because i wanted to make sure you were safe. oh and then you flirt with jo and allow her to flirt with you. seems like there's nothing to talk about dean. you made your choice and you didn't choose me." his eyes soften and i see tears brim the bottom of his eyes. he says "wait, wait, wait. i threatened our relationship cause i thought it was the only way you'd listen. cause i knew if you loved me enough you'd listen when i threaten what we have. and today? today was all a set up. i told jo to flirt with me so i could try to get you back. i didn't know how to approach you for this very reason.. i'm not used to this. i've never truly dated before."
i turn around to wipe my face. i then look back at him, rubbing the amulet necklace around my neck that he started to let me wear a while ago. i look into his tear filled forest eyes and say "dean, you don't understand from my point of view. if you would've taken the chance to talk to me, we wouldn't be having this conversation. you know i hate arguments. you know i can't handle them. so why bring this stress upon me? i haven't slept, i haven't eaten anything. i can't handle this kind of situation. i- i can't loose you dean. and i love you too damn much to watch another girl flirt with you or fake flirt whatever the hell it was, i couldn't stand it."
a tear rolls down his cheek as he begins his sentence "i know, i know. i'm sorry. and it was wrong of me to have jo do that. i didn't know what else to do. i know i screw everything up. that's just the kind of person i am. i always seem to loose the people i love most. i'm cursed. but i'm also really sorry. i don't know what got into me, but i regret saying and doing everything. i love you y/n..." i put my hand up to deans cheek and i wipe the tears that have fallen. i move a bit closer to him and say "you don't screw everything up. you just should've talked to me, that's all i'm saying. no one ever said you were gonna loose me. i'd have to fight you if you ever tried getting rid of me. cause i'm not going anywhere dean. i forgive you. we both made mistakes. but i forgive you dean. it's okay. we're okay." he has a sigh of relief and wipes his face. i help him out, i put 1 thumb on each cheek bone and wipe the tears. i keep my hands on his cheeks and i lean in and plant a sweet delicate kiss on his lips. i pull away and say...
"under one condition. you let me go on any hunts that i want. and if we have any disagreements we talk it out, none of this jealousy, silent treatment bullshit. okay?" he grabs my waist and pulls me in closer. our noses basically touching he says in his raspy seductive voice "deal." i lean my head up just a bit so that our lips touch once more. i move my hand up to his hair and i start playing with it. i pull away and lick my lip. he twirls his finger through my hair then makes direct eye contact with me. he smiles like a dork then says "you're extremely beautiful, i hope you know that." i blush slightly, "i love you." he puts his forehead to mine and whispers "i love you too." i grab his hand and we head back inside. jo immediately smiles and gives dean a thumbs up. sam gives dean a look that's says "good job now just don't mess up again." dean and i sit at the bar and ellen gives us a few drinks.
that night ended just like every other. we found a case, saved some lives and headed to the motel we were staying at and i ended the night with warm comforting cuddles from dean.
