dean gets back from hell and is extremely distant with me the first couple weeks. we were dating before he was torn apart by that hell hound. he won't come near me. he won't talk to me, he won't touch me. he won't even let me touch him. i've had enough....
sam, dean and i are looking at a case. i ask "so how many vamps are we thinking dean?" he continues looking at his computer. i say sternly "dean?" he looks up for a quick second then stands up and starts to walk away. i look at sam then up at dean and i say "damn it dean stop! i'm sick of this!" he stops walking and stands still. i give sam a look and sam stands up and walks out. i move a couple feel closer to dean and i say softly "dean, look at me. please. i can't handle this anymore." he slowly turns to me. i move even closer and i reached my hand out to his face. he flinched. i fight him and i put my hand up to his cheek, he closes his eyes and just lets it happen. i say quietly "why won't you touch me? why won't you let me touch you? why won't you speak to me? you're breaking me one day at a time and i can't let it happen any longer.. i can't sleep at night without you by my side. did i do something wrong??"
a tear falls from his face and he says "no, no. it's not you. it's me. hell wasnt easy. things happened that i'm not proud of..." i grab his hand and i walk him over to the table and we both sit, side by side. i grab his hands in mine and i say "then talk to me. don't shut down. whatever happened it won't affect the way my heart beats for you." he looks to the side in embarrassment as tears begin to continuously fall from his eyes. i use my finger to tilt his head to look at me. i then say "it's okay dean. take your time. it's okay to have these emotions. talk when you're ready." he wipes his face then says "i did things in hell. bad things. i hurt people. i tortured them. and i liked it. i liked it y/n. there was this soul. it looked like you. i could only imagine it being you. and i don't want to hurt you. that's why i won't touch you. i won't look at you because all i can see is me torturing you. i don't know what to do." i cup his face in my hands and i say "dean, baby. it's okay. it wasn't me. see? i'm fine. and it wasn't you down there. i know you. you wouldn't do anything to hurt someone. whatever you need to hear i'll say.. i forgive you. i love you. i need you. dean. please don't just shut down like this ever. i'm here for a reason. no matter what some demonic bitch was making you do, you're still mine and i love you no matter what." tears continue falling from his eyes and some start to fall from mine.
he wipes his face again and says "hell tore me apart limb by limb. the things i saw. the things i did. i'm scared y/n. i don't think i'll ever come back from this." i get up and i sit on his lap just so that we're as close as possible. i play with his hair as i say "i'm here. and i'm never leaving. i'll be here every step of the way. whether it's the nightmares or you breaking down in tears from the memories. i'm here dean. don't ever hesitate to talk to me. that's what i'm here for." he hides his face in my shoulder. i wrap my arms around him and i start running my fingers through his hair. he mumbles "i love you." so i kiss his cheek and respond with "i love you too babes."
