*it was Dean... he was being torn apart by the hellhound. 5 gashes on his stomach. Bleeding to death. His eyes struck open, same with his mouth. No more movement coming from him. He was Dead. Dean Winchester, my best friend, is dead. I kneel beside him with a hand in his hair, comforting him even though I know he's long gone. Every night after that haunts me. I can hear his screams from hell. Him bloody, torn apart. I couldn't function without him. I left Sam. I spent days in hotels, drinking and crying. It just kept replaying, him being that hellhounds chew toy.
Dean runs in my room shaking me awake, pretty aggressively. I jolt awake, panting, with tears on my cheeks.
"Woah,woah, sweetheart calm down." I look up at him with tears in my eyes, extremely thankful that he's here right now. I manage to pant out some words.
"Nightmare. It was just a nightmare. I'm fine." He gives me his petty, puppy dog eyes. He doesn't leave. He seems tense.
"Sweetheart, it wasn't just a nightmare. You were calling out for me. Wanna talk about it?" He didn't even wait for an answer before sitting next to me, his back against the headboard of my bed.
"It was replaying the worst day of my life Dean..." He looks over at me with no emotion on his face, like he could see the pain in my eyes..
"And what day is that??" My heart rate picks up as I get nervous to explain to him about how the day was for me.
"The day you were torn apart by that hellhound Dean... that day was the worst day of my life. Worse than my parents death. Worse than me getting beat half to death. You died right in front of me. I held your dead, bloody body. My best friend was gone. I didn't know how to deal with that. I left Sam. I drank till I'd pass out. I didn't fall asleep on purpose, just because I saw the imagine of you being a hellhounds chew toy. It sucked-" I'm interrupted by the sound of sniffles. I look at Dean but he's facing the other way. He looks over at me, tears slowly going down his cheeks. "Hey, hey. No. Don't cry." I move my hand up to his cheek and I wipe away the tears with my thumbs.
"I am so sorry y/n. I never meant to cause you that much stress. I should've never made that deal. What if I would've stayed dead? What mental state would you be in then? This is all on me. I was careless enough to basically kill myself, I never took into mind how it would effect you, I honestly thought you wouldn't care, I mean I'm a dick to you. And sometimes you just act like you hate me..." I move my hand down from his cheek and onto his hand. I start fidgeting with the ring on his finger and lay my head on his shoulder.
"Dean, I didn't hate you, I still don't. This isn't your fault. You were saving Sam, like the great big brother you are. It's how you were raised. I don't blame you, for any of it. I blame myself. You wouldn't have stayed dead either way, I would've brought you back. Sam needs you more than he needs me. I'd kill myself to save you in a heartbeat. It's how I am. So what, you made a stupid decision? Welcome to the family. My life is full of stupid decisions. I'm just glad you're here. I got you back, and that's all I care about. Nighttime is just a very unpleasant thing for me in general. I don't sleep because of the nightmares. And I can barely fall asleep to begin with because I get this eerie feeling that something is behind me or that there's just something somewhere looking for me. I get like 3 hours of sleep at max. Just don't blame yourself for my misfortune. It's not your fault. There was just a point in time that I lost the one person I loved most, but he's back now." He leans down and kisses the top of my head.
"Yeah, he's back sweetheart, and he staying till the day he dies, for good. Theres no getting rid of me now. What do you mean your life is full of stupid decisions? Are we one of those??" I lift up my head and I stare at him with a face of pure offense. I smack his arm, maybe a little harder than intended. "Ow!"
"Dean Winchester, are you that stupid?! You really think you and Sam are one of my stupid decisions?! You and Sam are the best decision I have EVER made. I would not take back the day I met you, for anything. You guys are the best people to come into my life. You especially. I love you more than I love myself Dean. You have changed me for the better. All of your stupid little perks give me my reason to live. You are one stupid guy if you think you are my stupid decision." He gives me a cute little smile and he grabs my hand, stopping me from playing with his ring.
"Aww you love me." I smack his chest, and he starts laughing. "I'm kidding y/n. I love you too. More than you think I do. You will never understand how much I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. You're my rock. My best friend. The only person that can put a genuine smile on my face. I love being around you, you just make every given situation 10x better." I can't help but smile. I never thought he'd be saying these things.
"And here I thought you hated me." He looks at me in shock.
"Oh sweetheart, I don't hate you. I'm sorry if my actions and words lead to make you think that. Trust me, I don't hate you, not in the slightest bit." He looks at me seeing the expression on my face as I look forward. He does what he does best, make me smile. He leans into me tickling my sides, making me laugh. He then proceeds to lean further into me, nudging his head into my neck, tickling me with his hair. I continue laughing, very loud and obnoxious. All of a sudden he stops, and he's on top of me. Just staring at me with a cute grin on his face. He slowly leans down and connects our lips, very gently. He lifts his head away, showing his blushing cheeks and little smile. "That's how much I love you y/n."
"Good, because I love you just about that much too. I've been waiting so long for that Dean." He plants a quick kiss on my cheek then lays his head down in the crook of my neck.
"Now you don't need to be scared to sleep. I got you. And I won't let anything hurt you." I kiss the top of his head and play with his hair.
"Thank you Dean, for everything."
