*FLASHBACK*
dean and i are out at the bar, drinking away. we have both taken about 5 shots. we're both tipsy. we played a couple games of pool and shared some laughs. dean and i go back to our table and sit, as we drink our beers i don't take my eyes off him. he catches me starring and says "y/n?" i snap back into reality and mumble "hmm?" he says "you were staring. is something wrong? do i have something on my face?" i laugh and say "no. your face is perfect. just had something on my mind that's all." his eye brows raise and a smirk appears on his face as he asks "and what is on your mind?" i look away nervously and say "nothing. nothing. just something stupid. y'know, the usual." he moves his head to make eye contact with me. he then says "you sure? cause you can tell me anything?" i rub my temple and say "the thing i had on my mind, was you dean. you." his eyes widen and he says "uh- really? what do you mean by that??" i look away, i don't want to stare into his beautiful green eyes as i completely embarrass myself. i then respond with "8 years ago we met eachother in that warehouse... and 8 years ago i realized that i had a large and embarrassing amount of feelings for you. and i know, i know, we're only friends and that's fine. i don't care. i wish i wouldn't have said anything but i'm drunk, whiskey is my truth serum.." deans eyes trail off. i'm too drunk... i look at his lips, and they're just there, starring right at me. i kiss him but he starts to shake his head slightly, and he pulls away after about 5 seconds. me being embarrassed i say "i'm sorry. i'll go." i grab my jacket and i'm out before he can say anything. we're only like 10 minutes from the motel so i walk. when i get there sam is asleep and i change then hop in bed and immediately close my eyes. dean gets home shortly after i close my eyes. i ignore him and just try to sleep.— the next couple days dean and i don't talk or even look at eachother much. we look at eachother when the other isn't paying attention. weirdly sam doesn't suspect anything.
today, dean,sam and i are hitting the road. we're headed back to kansas. it's about a 7 hour drive from where we are. sam wanted to sleep so he let me ride shot gun. worked to his advantage, not mine. being stuck 2 feet away from dean for 7 hours isn't the best choice. i whisper under my breathe "it's gonna be a long drive." i stare out my window for most of the ride. i see dean look over at me a couple times. he turns the music up a bit and it's a song that reminded me of dean. it made me so sick to my stomach that i thought i was going to vomit. i say quickly "dean, pull over, now." he looks at me since that had been the first time i'd spoken to him since the incident...
-DEANS POV-
it's been 3 days since we've spoken. it's hard. we went from laughing together about stupid shit everyday to not even making eye contact. i know i screwed up. it wasn't even that i didn't have feelings for her, it was that i was scared to admit that i liked her so much. everyone i love, i loose, in one way or another but i can't let that happen to her. i like her. i do. i like her a lot. and now she won't even speak to me, and it's my fault. we're currently in colorado on a hunt and we left about 2 hours ago to head back home. sam is passed out in the backseat and she's just sitting there. gazing out the window. i keep looking over at her hoping one of these times words will escape my lips, but it doesn't happen. i want to fix this, but she's upset. i broke her. i turn up the music and the song reminded me of her. it made me sick to my stomach but i just focused on the road. out of nowhere she says "dean, pull over, now!" i look at her with shock on my face and i do as told. i pull the car over.
-MY POV-
he pulls over and i immediately get out of the car and i double over letting everything i ate today escape my body. he gets out of the car and runs over to me. he rests a hand on my back and says "hey, you okay sweetheart?" hearing those words go in one ear and out the other gave me butterflies. i hadn't herd him talk like that to me in a while. his voice was so soothing. i wipe my mouth and cough out the words "yeah i'm fine." i turn back to the car and i reach for the door and he stops me with the words "no you're not. we're not. we haven't spoken. we haven't laughed. we haven't even looked at eachother at the same time. and it's my fault." he's behind me and i'm facing the car, not him. i keep my head down and say "dean. stop. i made a mistake. i shouldn't have told you. not like that. can we please just get home?" dean grabs my hand and makes me face him he then says "it's all my fault. i shouldn't have reacted like that. i upset you and i'm sorry. i didn't mean it like that." i scoff then say "dean. you don't have to apologise for not feeling the same. i get it. can we please just go? we can talk later. please dean? not here." dean lets go of me and his face softens as the words leave his mouth, "okay. okay. but i'm going to explain myself later." he opens my car door and closes it after i get in. he then gets in and we hit the road once more. a couple minutes pass and he looks over at me and asks "what made your stomach act up like that all of a sudden?" i roll down my window and i let the wind blow through my hair. i then respond with "the song. it brought back a memory. but it's nothing. i'm fine." he scratches his neck then says "that song made me pretty queasy too... it was the song that was playing that night..." i clear my throat and say "yeah. not my happiest memory..." he stares back at the road and a couple more hours pass. sam is wide awake reading some articles on his phone. we arrive at the bunker and i immediately get out and grab my stuff and head to my room...
sam and dean get settled in and about 15 minutes later dean comes knocking on my door. i walk over and i open it he looks at the floor then back up to me and says "hey, can we talk?" i respond with "yeah, of course. come in." he walks in and brushes his hand against mine as he walks past. i close the door behind him and he goes over to my bed and sits down. i walk over to him and i stand in front of him. i say "dean, we don't have to have this conversation. everything is fine. we can just go back to the way we were before. i'm done pouting." dean reaches out to me and says "no. i want to have this conversation. i screwed up and i need to fix it. i need to tell you why i did what i did." i grab his hand and say "you don't need to apologise. i shouldn't have said it. i shouldn't have just kissed you like that either. that wasn't the way i wanted that to happen. and i embarrassed myself in the process. it's fine that you don't feel the same dean. no need to be sorry, i'm not surprised..." he looks up at me with puppy dog eyes and says "no one ever said i dont feel the same. i do. i like you a lot. and that's why i did what i did. everyone i love i loose. everyone i love ends up hurt. and i can't let that happen to you. i'm just trying to save you. 1, i'm not a good guy. 2, you'll end up dead, everyone i care about dies. 3, i'm not dating material." i cup his face with my hands and a tear rolls down my face as i say "dean. that's not true. you're a great guy, that's why i love you. i'm not going anywhere. i'm not gonna die. i'll fight heaven and hell just to make sure i stick around long enough for you. and you are dating material. you don't date, and i know that. but you never know until you try. we've known each other for 8 years, i know you better than anyone else. dean you're perfect." deans eyes fill with tears, no girl has ever felt that deeply for him. he clears his throat trying not to show his emotions. he then says "i just don't want to hurt you y/n." i rub my thumb on his cheek and say "you won't dean. we can make it work." he looks up at me and a tear falls from his eye. he whispers "i love you." i lean in and i kiss him gently, i pull away and whisper back "i love you too dean." he wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his face into my chest. i wrap my arms around his head and i rest my head on his. i move on top of him and i wrap my arms around his neck and i hide my face in his neck. we sit there hugging for a good minute then he pulls away and says "i'm glad we talked. it sucked not talking to you and not being close to you." i then say "well now you can be as close to me as you want. because you're mine, and only mine." he smiles then throws me aside him, he then gets on top of me and kisses me a couple times. his facial hair starts to tickle my face so i let out a little giggle. he looks at me confused and asks "what's so funny?" i giggle out the words, "your facial hair tickles." he chuckles a bit then starts rubbing his cheek on mine so that he can hear me laugh. he then whispers "you're mine. only mine, sweetheart."
we end the night in laughter and cuddles. dean and i have been together ever since and we don't plan on ending things anytime soon.
