𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆. 𝗦𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗹. 𝗛𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁. 𝗛𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗛𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗶 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘄𝗲'𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝟯 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀. 𝗜𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝟴, 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝟳. 𝗪𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝗼𝗯𝗯𝘆𝘀. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝗱 𝗴𝗼 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲. 𝗦𝗮𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱, 𝗶 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝘀 𝘂𝗽 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗳𝗮𝗿, 𝗻𝗼𝘄...
sam, dean and i had just finished up a hunt, we were only able to save 2/3 people so we're all kinda bummed. the whole car ride i'm silent. i look out my window and block out any conversation that happened. dean looks over at me and says "hey, this wasn't our fault. there was nothing we could've done to save her.." sam says "yeah, we got there just a little too late. we didn't see it coming." i just slightly nod my head acknowledging that i herd them. i think dean knows where this is going. we pull into the garage and as soon as the car is in park i open my door and run inside. dean doesn't even take the keys out all the way and he yells "damnit! sam lock baby up." he then runs after me. i grab the blade from under my bed and i run in the bathroom and lock the door. soon enough dean finds me and starts pounding on the door as he's yelling "come on. open up. you don't have to do this. y/n... don't." i don't respond. he pounds once more and says in a softer tone "baby, please. babes? babe? hunny? baby? sweetheart? please. just say something so i know you're okay." i sigh and say "dean. this isn't only about tonight..."
he has a sign of relief then says "what do you mean? hun, please come out and talk." i scrape the blade on the floor then say "i'm staying right here. but ever since my parents death 2 years ago, i haven't been the same and you know it. you're always trying to prevent me from doing this even tho it's the thing that takes ALL the pain away. dean i can't keep living like this." he puts his hand up to the door and says "baby, please don't do this. none of this is your fault. i'm just trying to help you." i pick up the razor blade and say "if i'm just not around you won't have to worry about me." he pounds the door and says "NO. do not say that. you aren't gonna die anytime soon. i'm riding by your side till the end of our time. i love you i can't live without you." there's silence. he pounds the door more and says "open up! baby?!" he kick the door in and finds me sitting on the ground with the razor on the floor and 2 slices on my arms, 1 on each wrist. i look up to him and whisper "dean..." i then pass out.
he's freaking out. he picks me up and puts me on the bed he yells "SAM! GET IN HERE NOW! ITS Y/N!" sam comes running and sees blood dripping from my wrists he freezes and says "oh my god. y/n." dean looks at me then back at sam and yells "sam! a little help!" sam runs over to me and checks my wounds they're just deep enough for stitches. sam runs to grab the stitching kit and starts to heal me up. about 2 hours past. i come back into consciousness. deans hand is gripped around mine. i look up and see dean with dry tear stains on his cheeks but still has tears in his eyes. i wiggle my fingers as i say "dean..." he immediately looks up and wraps me in his arms. i whisper "i am so sorry dean. i- i" he cuts me off and says "shh. don't be sorry. we can talk about this later. i'm not mad. i'm just glad you're okay." i pull away a bit and kiss his cheek. another tear rolls down his cheek. i pull away further and look him in the eyes, i wipe the tear then say "i'm sorry. i'm so so so sorry. dean. i promise i won't do it again. i realized as soon as i did it that it was a mistake. dean, i don't want to die. i can't live in a place that your not." dean cups my face in his hands and kisses me as a few more tears fall from his face. he then says "i want you to know that nothing that has happened in the past is your fault. you have a reason to live. we need you. i need you. you're my best friend and my girl, i'm loosing a 2 in 1. i can't live in this shit hole without you. you can't help that you get these thoughts. i'm gonna be there for you every step of the way to help you." a couple tears fall from my face i start to say "dean-" but he cuts me off and says "shh. it's okay. i'm here. you're okay. we're okay. i love you baby." i grab his face and kiss him very gently i then says "i love you too babes." i back away from him a little bit and really look at him. he wipes his face trying to make the tears go away. i grab his hands in mind and say "it's okay to cry dean. let it out. don't be ashamed.🥺" he grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug, he nuzzles his head into my neck and i can feel his tears going down my neck.
we hug for about 1 minute then i pull away and put my hands on his cheeks, i wipe away his tears and says "you're really fricken cute dean🥺" he looks at me in the eyes and says "and you're beyond beautiful darling" he pouts a bit until i finally say "what babes? are u mad? or sad? you want kisses? hug? cuddle? what do you want?🥺" he grabs my hand and says "i only want you. but all of those things sound good too.🥺😌" dean leans in and kisses me, then rolls over on top of me. he nuzzles his face into my neck and starts twirling his finger in my hair he then says "your hair smells really good 🥺🥴 lavender?" i giggle like a dork and say "yes, lavender. you know... i was blessed with a really good guy." he blushes a bit. i then tilt his head up and plant a kiss on his lips, then one on his nose then one on his forehead. he lays his head back down and i play with his hair till he starts to doze off a bit.
