My First Real Girl Crush ** (Camren)

Part 13 : She was Jealous

Lauren's POV 

It was Valentine's day. I got a gig at a romantic rooftop restaurant that belonged to Halsey. She called me two weeks ago asking me if I could sing at her restaurant on Valentine's day. Since I didn't have anything scheduled yet, I accepted her invitation.

I was preparing myself for the gig and Camila crossed my mind. I was wondering how she was doing. She must have a date on this day. It had been a month and a half, I didn't contact Camila and I didn't hear from her as well. I didn't talk to her, but she crossed my mind every day. I needed time to figure it out myself, to contemplate everything that had happened. It was all about my sexuality and my feeling for Camila.

Lucy was right. I treated Camila so special. I liked her from the beginning but I didn't realize it myself. I liked her. It was very obvious but I didn't see it because I always thought I was not into girls and I loved her like a sister.

I was wrong. All this time, I had been in love with her. It was from the beginning when I met her at the veterinary center, that she had stayed in the back of my mind. I was nervous when she talked to me at Dinah's party but I didn't feel uncomfortable. I enjoyed every time I was with her. There was not a day, I didn't talk to her. I wanted to see or hear from her every day, otherwise, something was missing. Every time, I came to something interesting, I wanted to share it with her. Every time I saw something cute and good in the shop I wanted to buy it for her even though It was expensive and I didn't have much money for those good things.

It was getting intense when I had a bad mood and snapped at her at the wedding gig. I thought I was not happy that she didn't tell me about her relationship with Shawn. The truth was I was jealous of seeing them together and kissing. It made me furious. On the day when I stayed over after we made up, It was the first time I felt my heart skip a beat when I was looking at her. Looking at her beautiful face smiling warmed my heart. I felt this fluffy feeling in my heart. My heart was like melting. I never felt this before. I knew I brushed it off and didn't put further thought into it. it was something new for me.

These six weeks, I tried to figure it out myself. I searched for online articles about sexuality. I talked to Lucy. I watched youtube channels about girls. I watched lesbian short movies and TV series about girls' love. I read a book about sexuality, about not being straight. Now, I realized I was not straight. I didn't know if I was into girls or only Camila. I was still figuring it out. I was learning to accept myself. I followed what Lucy told me that I could take my time, no rush, and I didn't have to label myself.

Lucy was probably right about Camila into me. I recalled how our eyes met, how we looked at each other. It was too long and too affectionate for just a friend. I remembered how our hands touched were not like friends' touch. All that jealousy and fights were just like girlfriends instead of friends. Did she still like me now, I didn't know. She probably had moved on. Even though I still hoped she liked me still.

.

I arrived at the restaurant. It was a lovely place with a romantic atmosphere. They had decorated the place, especially for valentine's day. Halsey was here, she introduced me to the band, and we discussed the songs and collaboration. I thought she would not sing as she no longer belonged on a small stage like this. She said she would sing one song for fun, and she wanted to sing it with me. I could not be happier to collaborate with her even only on this small stage.

The guests were starting to arrive. They all looked beautiful and lovely. I started to sing the love songs which were selected by Halsey, the band, and me. The atmosphere was so heartwarming. The decoration was carefully selected. The guests looked happy and beautiful. The music and the songs just completed the lovely day. I looked around and I saw the diversity of couples in love.