Just Me Again.

29: The Real You

MARIA WAYNE

"Maria, I want you to come with us," Charlie said as I folded her shirt. She bent her feet under her and sighed, "I want you to come along us. You know, how confused I can be when it comes to a choice between something. I need your help with this one." She asked.

Marcus and Charlie are going to Hawaii for sightseeing where they are getting married. Charlie insists me to come with them, but I am not sure. I and Silas will be looking after Kathie while Marcus and Charlie will be gone – which isn't more than three days. I want these two to have some alone time together since they hardly get it. "Charlie, no – you and Marcus are going alone. You two need a vacation." I pressed and put her folded shirt in the suitcase.

She sighed, "It's not a vacation." She mumbled and paused before tugging her hair behind her ear. She looked at me mashed her lips together, "Okay, there's another thing I need your help with." She said. I knitted my eyebrows together, "What is it?" I asked. "You see, I really –want you to come with me –" I rolled my eyes. "Charlie." I said, but she stopped me, "No – no, just hear me out. It – it may sound embarrassing and – and stupid, but I want you to come with us for another reason." She said uncomfortably.

I frowned, "What is it?" I asked her.

"I want you there with me because I need a distraction." She said. I knitted my eyebrows, "You need a distraction from what?" I asked. She sighed, "Marcus." She replied lowly.

"Why would you want a distraction from Marcus? Is everything okay between you two?" I asked her worriedly.

"Yes – yes, everything's okay." She replied. "So, since we are living apart from each other till the wedding – we also decided – well, actually I decided to not to have sex – uh, till the wedding either." She told me shyly. She told me about this before. I put two and two together and realized what she needs distraction from. I laughed, "So, you want me to come with you so two can't have sex?" I asked her.

She rolled her eyes and slapped my arm, "Maria, it is not a joke." She said. "I need your help with it," she added. "You see all this – uh – tension is – um – building up in me." She said shyly.

I smirked, "You mean sexual tension?" I teased her. She narrowed her eyes and looked at me, "Yes – yes, Maria – sexual tension." She replied flatly, causing me to laugh. "Okay, sorry – sorry." I apologized to her while she simply rolled her eyes. "I get what you are saying, but can't you take Kathie with you two? I mean, she is enough to distract you two from doing the deeds." I said. "I know, right? I thought the same, but then Silas happened." She said sourly. I chuckled at her expression as she got up from the bed, "Oh no Charlie and Marcus, I and Maria are here to take care of Kathie – you two go and enjoy." She mimicked him causing me to bust out laughing. I was there when he said those exact words. She sighed and put her hands over his hipbone, "You know what? I feel bad." She said as she turned to look at me. "I feel bad because I didn't ask what Marcus wants while deciding that we both should stay separately and do not engage in sex before the wedding. And that stupid guy agreed without putting on a fight." She said.

"So, you wanted him to fight for it?" I asked her.

She didn't reply immediately, "I don't know what I want." She said lowly and sat on the floor, "I don't know what I need anymore. I like the idea of not having sex before marriage, but at the same time I want him so much." She said. "You have no idea how I control myself around him." she continued, "And now that I will have to stay with him for three days – I am afraid I will lose control." She added and hid her face in her palms.

I pressed my lips together, "Just so you know, this conversation is making me uncomfortable." I told her while laughing.

"I am sorry I am making you uncomfortable." She said while making patterns with her finger on the carpeted floor. She looked really upset – she didn't want to have sex with Marcus before the wedding, but she is afraid that she is hurting Marcus – but at the same time she wants to do it as well. It does sound messed up – but I somehow get her. She is my best friend and she needs me right now. I mashed my lips together, "Charlie, come up here please." I asked her as I patted the bed. She turned her head to look at me before blowing her cheeks out and getting up on her feet. She sat beside me and I smiled, "Charlie, I get it – you are confused." I told her. "But, everything's going to be okay," I added. "Do you want to know what I believe?" I asked her.