crush | janiel

chapter five

i was tired. it wasn't hard to tell, but at the same time i didn't want to call quits and leave. i was wasted yeah, really fucking wasted. my vision hurt and my brain felt like it was going to explode from the rock hard music blaring from all directions at once. it was even hard to spot my friends who were just screaming. corbyn and eben were on a table, pouring down a whole bottle of vodka onto jonah's head, as zach bumped into me.
"oh shit, sorry," zach slurred.
his eyes were half closed and i could tell by the way he was rushing abruptly, he was going to throw up. another body bumped into me, except this time it took me off guard. my drink fell from my hand and as much as i wanted to finish it, a part of my no longer sober self was glad that it'd fallen.
"sorry."
i turned around as jack's small body continued to bump and stumble onto me. his hair was messed up so his eyes were hidden, and his right hand held a whole bottle of champagne. his body crashed slowly against mine once again, as my hand went down to jack's sides to stabilize him. he fell into the crook of my neck as a heard a faint sniffle escape through the sounds of the music still at full volume, blowing my eardrums by the minute. he was crying.
"jack?" i whispered slowly in his ear, waiting for a response as i felt his heart beat against my chest. he clutched his left hand on my arm, his other hand still occupied holding the large bottle. my hand slid to his, slowly pulling the bottle away from his fingers, placing it back on the table behind me, which was later immediately grabbed by eben. i ignored them as my head turned back and looked back down at jack, except this time he was staring at me. my fingers tangled in his hair, pushing it upward to make eye contact with his hazelnut brown eyes. they were a faint colour of red, probably from crying. it was hard to tell since the lights were beaming in the room we were in, but it was obvious jack was upset from his shuddered breathes and the strong grip on my shoulder. it was only a few seconds long, before he looked back down at his feet, cuddling back into my chest. jack was so small, it was easy to rest my chin on his head and rock him back and forth like a little baby. his other hand clutched my arm as i heard him mumble something against my chest.
"what did you say jack?" i asked, corbyn's laugh drowning both of our voices out.
"i-i feel sick."
i pulled away from his small body, crouching a little to make eye contact with him, even though he hated when i did that.
"do you need to-"
but before i could finish my sentence, jack clutched his stomach and ran ahead of me.
"jack wait!" i screamed, but he disappeared into the crowd of people dancing, partying like it was the best day of their life. jack was feeling the exact opposite of that feeling.
"daniel! c'mon let's do rounds!"
i didn't even bother to turn around to look at corbyn, even though it was his night, his birthday, my mind was just scared that jack wasn't feeling ok. before i could run after him, zach broke through the crowd, adjusting his hair and shirt. i puked his shirt back, stopping him from walking away from him.
"what the fuck daniel?"
i frowned. he was still drunk.
"did you happen to see jack?"
"yeah," zach's attention drew back to jonah and a girl. "he was rushing to the bathroom."
i patted his shoulder, as i quickly pushed through the crowd in the middle of the room, anxious to go check on him. soon enough, i was passed the doors of the darkened room to the hallway of the building. my eyes stung at the lighting change, the same feeling when you exited a theatre, and it was still day outside. my eyes reverted to different rooms and doors, as i finally found the sign to the men's bathroom. right as i opened the door, i heard jack. clearly sick.
"...jack?" i called, closing the door behind me.
he didn't answer as i peered into every stall, soon enough finding his air jordan shoes. i looked over to the stall door, holding jack's back.
"it's ok jack, hey it's ok," i confronted him, as he continued to throw up. my hands rubbed up his stomach and shoulders softly. he coughed weakly, before collapsing back on my body, knocking me down a bit from unbalance.
"shit i'm s-sorry d-daniel," he breathed out, his hand desperately trying to clutch mine to feel my presence behind him, even though he knew i was holding him.
"don't be sorry. what happened? did you drink too much?"
he let out a soft scoff, admittedly nodding back. i rubbed his back once more.
"a little is an understatement," he whispered quietly.
i laughed as jack and i sat there on the ground of the bathroom tiles. his body was falling more slowly onto mine, to the point we were fully on the floor. it was disgusting, but in the moment my mind wasn't worried about that.
"...jack why were you crying?"
he was sitting in front me, but i could feel his smile drop more than it already was, as it was silent for a few minutes.
"i-i didn't get to talk to my daughter." jack laughed.
i sat up quickly, scaring jack a little.
"what? what do you mean?" i asked confused.
he shook his head, laughing a little more.
"she didn't pick up, even though i sat there on the fucking table, waiting that at any moment, i'd see her calling me back or answering the phone!" he exclaimed still laughing. his tone shifted from the laughter, slowly stopping as he breathed heavily. his hands were shaking, as i grabbed his small waist, turning him around so he was facing me. there were tears streaming down his cheeks as the laughs that were first coming out of his mouth turned into tears and cries.
"i-i sat there for an hour daniel. s-she had a whole h-hour," jack cried, gasping between every sentence, choking on his own tears.
"jack look at me."
i brought his chin to look at me, then wiped his tears which were still coming out of his eyes.
"i'm really sorry," i quietly responded back as jack looked back at the sink behind me, probably to avoid looking at me.
"this isn't your fault. it's not your fault."
my hands intertwined with his, stopping the shaking.
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"how did you s-stop it?"
"i just held your hand."
"...if it ever happens again, do that again."
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jack looked back at me, down to his hands.
"you remembered."
i nodded as he looked back at my eyes. there were still small tears pooling into his
beautiful eyes which hurt my heart. i hated seeing him like this. i hated seeing him be homesick. i hated seeing him breaking. jack let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes, breathing slowly from his nose. it wasn't until his head fell, as it buried back into my shoulder. i smiled as i massaged his hair. he was exhausted, and sick from all the alcohol that was floating through both of our systems.
"daniel?" his soft voice muffled.
"yeah?"
"don't move, i'm comfortable."
i rolled my eyes as he hugged my waist tightly.
i cuddle people when i'm tired, so don't move if that happens jack's voice played in my head.
"i won't," i answered, shifting in a comfortable position against the stall door.
"i won't."