crush | janiel

chapter seven

my foot tapped on the stool's foot rest as i scratched the back of my neck. this interview had to be one of the longest ones, because i was already getting a full migraine from the interviewer blabbering on and on. it was probably all the alcohol i consumed last night too, but i threw up at 4 in the morning, so apart of me chose to blame the interviewer who was just doing his job. it was hot in the room we were in, and i was so thankful that zach told me not to wear a hoodie, the only smart thing he's ever said in the 4 years we've been together as a band.
"daniel?"
i snapped out of my thoughts as the interviewer held up our album cover in his hand, the other holding the mic. the other boy's stared at me, waiting for me to answer the question the interviewer asked me, but out of full honestly, i had no idea what the fuck he had just said.
"he asked what's your favourite track."
i looked down to my right side, where jack was sitting on the couch. the blend between his blonde and now a bit tinted purple due to the purple shampoo he left in for an accidental hour because he fell asleep, looked cute on him. his sleeves were pulled down to his hands in a way to mimic sweater paws and that just pulled together everything he was wearing, with the black cargo pants, and white airforce 1's that were now mostly brown for wearing them so often. his eyes motioned me back to the interviewer, as i blinked, being so out of it and confused, as jonah coughed in a fake tone, probably to avoid how awkward the silent was.
"track 2." i breathed out nervously, as zach picked up on my answer quickly, making the rest of the discussion not seem so bad. corbyn nudged his foot to mine balancing on the rest, since both of us were seated on stools behind the couch where jonah, zach, and jack all sat. i looked over as he gave me a confused look, asking with his eyes probably why i was acting like i was. i motioned my hand over to me, as he leaned in and my fingertips caressed his cheek, cupping my hand over so no one could tell what i was saying, since the interview was being recorded.
"jack and i got pretty wasted yesterday, and i still feel hungover," i whispered.
corbyn pulled away, rolling his eyes slightly.
"you didn't take a painkiller this morning?" he mouthed as i shook my head.
"daniel produced a lot of the songs actually."
i turned back to the interviewer, hearing the name and thankfully the question.
"how was that?"
i scooted my chair a little forward, fumbling with my fingers as i looked around for a mic to steal, since we were all sharing two.
"here."
jack's small hand went behind his head, as the mic he was holding out for me hit my noise softly, but i ignored it so he wouldn't worry.
"um well, it was actually a really good experience writing many songs and producing both. i mean i can't take all the credit because all the guys helped me, but it was more difficult compared to for example a single, because you had to sit down for a whole album, and not just one track. but overall, it was fun yeah," i smiled, as jack let out a small giggle, bringing the mic to his mouth.
"have you guys ever thought about becoming your own producers?" the interviewer asked as all of us nodded.
"i feel like daniel would make a great producer though," zach said turning around as i laughed.
"well, maybe one day, i mean part of the times i still need help from professionals."
"you are definitely a professional if the album slaps daniel," jack piped in, making everyone laugh.
a few minutes later, the interview was done, as i slid out of my seat and touched my back pockets, trying to find my phone.
"guys have you seen my phone?"
corbyn shook his head as jonah rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"what i do?" i asked him.
"i swear if you lost it again-"
"what do you mean again-"
"daniel don't act like you don't lose it every five seconds."
"yeah, you're acting like this is all a surprise."
i scoffed at all their annoying comments as we all crowded in the elevator.
"guys why didn't we just take the stairs," zach complained.
"zach its a minute c'mon you'll survive-"
right when those words came out of my mouth, the elevator came to a sudden stop, as zach tumbled onto jonah, and someone clutched onto my arm. i looked down as his purple hair, as my cheeks stung at the small touch. i couldn't see him look back at me, probably because he didn't even notice that he clung onto me which i found cute of him.
"is it too hot in here?" jonah asked.
i looked away from jack's head to jonah as i shot him a perplexed confusing look. until he pointed at my cheeks and i froze. the elevator opened, as jack naturally let me go, jonah catching up next to my side, as i rubbed my cheeks to shake away the feeling.
"are you blushing or are you-"
"i'm sweating jonah," i answered quickly, exiting right behind corbyn as he didn't ask another question of to what just happened. the rest of the day, some of us stayed back and caught up with family, while others like zach, left with corbyn to explore the city that i didn't even know. it was the last day in australia for all of us, meaning that early tomorrow we'd be heading back home. i looked over to the rows of bunks, hearing jonah's soft snores escape through the hallway, as i sat in the breakfast table, with a pen in one hand. i looked down at the blank paper, tapping the pen every five seconds, trying to think and put together the words i wanted to write out, but all my brain was thinking about was jack.
jack. jack. jack.
i put the pen down as i felt the feeling come over me again, as i tried to hide it as eben walked past me saying hi and exiting the bus. i didn't know why i was feeling what i was feeling. it was like this deep down feeling in my stomach that started when jack fell on top of me and started laughing. that moment replayed in my head over and over again. his hair was all messed up from jumping around, and he had little cute crinkles beneath his eyes, with a mix of minor eyebags, probably from the lack of sleep he got almost every day. his necklace was also dangling from his neck, as it tickled my nose, and his small hands had two rings on each, the middle and ringer finger fulled on the left hand, and the pointer and ring finger on the other. i tilted my head back from the memory as i closed my eyes and rubbed my hand down my face not just in exhaustion, but in confusion. my hand went down my chin as i tangled them in my hair, thinking of all the moments that had led up to this moment. him running out last night, him throwing up and cradling in my arms as a safety net afterwards on the bathroom floor. the way he looked at me to always confirm if his outfit looked nice. even the small accidental touch on my shoulder just because the elevator scared him.
"you ok?"
i looked up to jonah rubbing his eyes and eating a banana, plopping small pieces he broke into his mouth.
"hungover," i replied, just to try and ignore the feelings overcoming me that were causing me to overthink.
"i think you're always hungover nowadays daniel."
i let out a small scoff, which later turned into a laugh as he sat in front of me, looking down at the blank paper.
"thinking of writing something new?" he asked.
i nodded as i threw the pen softly on the desk. "yeah."
"well, remember how you told me that when you thought of certain moments and then felt like writing them down, but nothing you thought of really made sense if you wrote it down?"
i nodded a little confused, because i never remembered telling him that, but at the same time like he said, i was pretty much hungover everyday.
"write down a bunch of random words that come to your mind, and then later, try to make sense of it. its better when you write down all the scrambled words so your brain doesn't clog up from all your thinking."
i smiled at him, as he got up and returned to his bunk, as i thought about what he said.
write down a bunch of random words that come to your mind, and then later, try to make sense of it.
i picked up my pencil as i opened back the notebook, hesitantly ripping a page out so i wouldn't ruin the flow and add in a random rough draft. then, i clicked the pen open, taking in jonah's advice, thinking of a word that could possibly describe the feeling i was feeling. my mind clicked, as i wrote down a single word on the piece of paper.
crush.