crush | janiel

chapter eleven

the entirety of the interview, my focus was on jack. I don't know why it was, considering i was still a little mad at him for no apparent reason but because he was wearing someone else's shirt. corbyn's. and i don't even know why it bothered me so much. it was just a shirt yes. but it was corbyn's shirt and just the thought of that pissed me off.
"you ok?" corbyn asked as we were walking back to the bus.
"yeah," i lied because for no reason i felt like punching him in the face.
by the time i was almost to the bus, jonah nudged his arm against mine.
"what do you want?" i responded sleepily.
"why're you acting so jealous?"
i looked back to see corbyn and jack laughing at something probably stupid that zach had said.
"daniel?"
"i'm not jealous." i stated, pushing past him annoyed.
but the truth was i was jealous. i was annoyed. even though the thought that he slept next to me the previous night still stood in my brain.
"ok well can you at least stop taking it out on me?"
"taking what out? i asked.
"i don't know, you look mad at me when i know i didn't do shit!" he yelled a little as i rolled my eyes.
there was a silence between us both as eben exited the bus.
"hey how was it?" he asked.
"pretty shit," zach called from behind as we all nodded in agreement. i looked down to eben holding a bottle of champagne and another bag.
"where are you going to party?" jack's voice said as i turned a little to hear his soft voice.
"well where do you think we're parked?"
i looked over the building next to us.
"i don't know a strip club-"
"daniel."
"sorry."
zach giggled a little as eben opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
"no stupid, its just a lounge which is already packed with people, so my question is why are you losers still looking sad as fuck and not partying?" he exclaimed.
"i'm not really in the mood to party," jack replied, moving closer next to me since i was at the door of the bus.
"is everything ok jack?" i asked, which came out rather gently because it shocked jack how softly i was speaking to him after i was clearly pissed at him.
"i-i just don't know about this whole socializing thing..."
"well you don't have to socialize with people you don't know," corbyn called, which made me glare at him. he put his hands up in defence, mouthing "what?" at me as i leaned a little down to hear jack speak.
"i know but you know how much i hate crowded parties."
"...i can stay with you on the bus," i responded, which made everyone go silent for a second before eben broke it.
"ok but if you need me text me or call me or whatever," he exclaimed clearly a little already drunk, as he motioned zach and corbyn to go into the building. however, jonah motioned me to come near him.
"one second jack," i said before coming to where jonah was standing.
"have you checked up on him?" jonah asked concerned, as i looked back as jack looking at his phone.
"yeah...a few nights ago it was pretty bad," i responded as jonah hesitated, but then hugged my side.
"just keep him safe, and stop being so hard on him."
"i'm not hard on him jonah," i replied sharply, which for some reason made jonah smile. he waved back at me as i walked back up to jack.
"you know you can go if you want daniel. i know how much you like partying."
i shrugged my shoulders as i lifted my arm to open the door to the bus.
"you're more important than a stupid party," i smiled, which made jack look away quickly.
"yeah but what difference is between a stupid party and me?"
i frowned at him as i grabbed a soda from the fridge.
"what do you mean?"
"parties are stupid."
"jack if you're trying to get me to say you're stupid, i won't because you're not," i replied.
"daniel i see the way you look at me, ever since that day i scared you basically," he murmured.
"what do you mean?" i questioned, bending down to his knees as he sat on the breakfast's chair. my hand touched his leg gently, before resting my chin onto it.
"...i don't know but...i feel like ever since what happened you've been acting weird around me. you get mad at me for things i don't even know why for and you look at me probably because you think i'm dramatic or weird," his voice cracked, which sounded like he was going to cry.
i stood up and put my pointer finger under jack's chin to move it up to look at me.
"jack look at me."
"no," he responded shakily, as my hands rested on both sides of his shoulders to calm him down.
"hey hey look breathe with me alright jack? ok? breathe."
i bent down a little to look at jack as he closed his eyes, breathing as i repeated inhale and exhale.
"inhale..."
"...exhale."
my hands moved from his shoulders to his face, moving my finger onto his cheek to comfort him. after jack took another breath, he stopped, which made me bend down again to look him in the eyes.
"jack?" i whispered.
"jack?"
he opened his eyes slowly, revealing his earthly brown honey coloured eyes, which gleamed as i stared at him for awhile. his hand held the side of my right wrist, then moved back to my fingertips which rested on his cheeks.
"look jack...you know i care about you right?" i spoke quietly as he nodded in response.
"that's why i'm here with you jack. i don't think you're boring and weird. you're so much more than that. you're spontaneous a-and your funny and you manage to make everyone smile just by talking. you're not any of the things you state jack."
i paused for a second as jack looked at me.
"...you're brave jack. and you're strong, don't think of yourself as any less of that," i finished, as i stood back up.
"and...jack i wasn't looking at you because of what happened that night in the bathroom."
he rose up next to me a little unsteadily which caused me to hold his waist unintentially. as much as i wanted to let go, jack was looking down at my arms around him, making me brush unbearibly. there was a silence before jack took another deep breath.
"did you know it was me?" he asked, stepping a little closer to me.
"know what was you?"
he didn't say anything as he looked from my hands around his waist to my eyes. then down to my lips.
"you did this exact thing when i was asleep. did you know it was me?"
i gulped as he stepped just a little closer.
"of course i did, you were asleep when i got to bed."
"then why did you choose anyway to sleep next to me."
"because i told you that you could and..." i paused as jack took another step so close that i could feel his breath on my chin, since he was a bit shorter than me, so i bent my head down to look back at him again.
"i knew you wanted me next to you."
"...and how do you know that?" he asked flustered.
i bent down to look down at his lips, then took a quick glance at his eyes.
"because either way, i wanted you next to me. anyways."
jack didn't say anything for a second, which got me nervous because he didn't know what to say and neither did i. but just as i let go on jack's cheek, he pulled my collar and pushed his lips onto mine, kissing me passionately. i froze for a second, not knowing what jack had just done, but we both wanted the same thing at this point. my shoulders relaxed as jack balanced on his tip toes, and i kissed him back softly, cupping his cheek.