crush | janiel

chapter fifteen

"how does it feel to be back home?" jonah questioned, messing up my hair like my father would if i was actually home.
"well, i don't really know since i'm not technically home," i sighed deeply, setting my suitcase down as eben perched them up against the wall.
"well maybe if your dumbass didn't lose your house-key you would be in home cuddled in your own bed," eben groaned of exhaustion.
"it's not my fault, i could've sworn in was in my pocket," i protested, as eben rolled his eyes and corbyn laughed quietly.
i looked at the watch around jonah's wrist as he frowned at me. 12:45 am.
"well i don't know about you guys but i'm fully awake," zach said drowsily, stretching his arms out and taking off his rings, setting them gently on the table in the living room.
"that yawn says otherwise," jack replied, which made me smile hearing his voice. he was dressed in a green neon hoodie, and a pair of sweats which were half covered by the oversized hoodie. his now brown blonde hair was poking out of the top of his hoodie, as jack removed his glasses to rub his eyes, causing me to look away.
"does anyone need to shower?" jonah asked, his eyes glued to his phone.
jack raised his hand, when he realized 2 seconds later of what he'd did and quickly put it down.
"i'll go," he laughed softly, as he walked into corbyn's bedroom, while corbyn came out with a toothbrush in his mouth.
"is that mine you disgusting shit-"
"no this is mine!" he defended, as my mouth dropped open out of disgust.
"corbyn," i groaned into my hands as he shrugged and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bagel.
"this isn't your toothbrush, mine's the blue one idiot."
"exactly, mine's teal there's a difference," i huffed, as zach laughed uncontrollably in the corner.
"you're so stupid just put labels on them," jonah suggested as i pretended to look stunned by his statement.
"this isn't elementary school jonah, i think corbyn can tell the difference between the 2 colours."
"from the looks of it, doesn't really look like he can," eben added on, which made jonah laugh a little, but he could see i was upset, so he tried to resist.
"here, i stole this and the slippers and the shampoo from the hotel, you can take the toothbrush," zach said, rummaging through his backpack, struggling to find whatever it was, when he gave up 2 seconds in and flipped his backpack, letting pens, electronics, and soap bottles out of his backpack. he picked up the toothbrush as he handed it to me, as we looked at the immense amounts of conditioner bottles and toothpaste.
"zach you know you can. afford toothpaste right?"
"yeah but this way its free."

-
-
-

26...27...28...29...30. i switched the side of my teeth to brush the other, counting the increments in my brain as i scribbled down a few words into my journal.
"you better not get toothpaste on my bedsheet!" corbyn called, which i ignored because i'd already dropped some on it anyway. i crossed out a word, then wrote over it, acting like it wasn't there.
what is it that you want?
do you want me?
or do you want the idea of me?
i looked at the words carefully, shaking me head and trying to figure out a way to make the sentence unique. i looked around corbyn's room, trying to find an eraser which he probably didn't have because the bitch was so unorganized it made my head hurt. i closed my journal as i looked across the room to the bathroom's door.
27...28...29...30.
i switched the side to my toothbrush to last, as i flipped through various amounts of pages in my journal, looking for the red ink and staring at the last words.
and i know you want me too.
the door to the bathroom opened as i looked up at jack, his head still leaned down as he ruffled the towel around his wet hair. he was wearing a pair of navy blue plaid joggers, with a black lace around his small waist. he wasn't wearing a shirt though. i don't know why that's relevant to my thoughts so i coughed, remembering i was brushing my teeth.
"you're going to choke, i'm done with my shower, use the sink dumbass," he replied happily, which made me blush a little from his sweet tone.
"don't tell corbyn i dropped toothpaste on his sheets," i muffled, which jack nodded to, even though i knew he had no idea what i'd just said.
i spit into the sink, as jack handed me a glass of water to then spit out once again.
he looked down to my hands, which had smudges of ink around the middle and pointer parts of my finger.
"what'd you writing?" he responded curiously, as i let go of the towel and looked down at him.
"just another thought i had on the plane."
he stared at me a little longer, before he looked away and yawned softly.
"when are you not writing?" he giggled.
"probably never, i'm always writing."
jack examined me for another second before leaving the bedroom and going face first into the bed, which made me laugh.
"daniel shut up," eben called from the other room as jack giggled again into the sheets. he looked over his side and motioned his eyes to me to come near me, as i sat next to him lying on the bed.
"can i ask you something? jack said, which i nodded to nervously.
"...what are we?"
i froze, as jack stared back at me, hoping for an answer.
i gulped in confusion as i thought about that for awhile. what were jack and i? were we friends? with benefits? were we dating? but i only had kissed him once. besides from the cheek. were we even together? did he even feel the same way?
"i..." i started, but nothing else came out after that, which made jack nervously look away.
"i'm sorry i asked just forget i said anything," he sighed, slowly getting up.
"jack," i responded, which made him turn and gaze right back into my soul.
i wanted to say something. but that was the thing. i didn't know what to say. my feelings toward jack were so confusing. i don't know how he felt, but i knew one thing. i did like him. i liked him a lot. but i didn't know if he liked me. and that was the part i was scared about. i concentrated back to jack, who was still looking at me, anxious to what i was going to say.
"i like you jack. i just don't know if you feel the same," i replied quietly, as jack's face got red in an instant.
"y-you do?" he stuttered confused, which made me puzzled because i didn't know what i said was right.
"yeah i do, is that a bad thing?"
"no it's n-not it's j-just t-that-"
he stopped talking for a second to rub his cheeks which were red, and i could tell he was embarrassed as he turned away for a second after taking a deep breath.
"you alright?" i giggled as he punched my shoulder softly.
"oh shut up," he said as i looked at him and then at his lips. before i could do anything, jack leaned in softly, kissing me sweetly and gently as i cupped his cheek to pull him in a little closer. my shoulders relaxed and my cheeks turned pink as i could tell from the sting coming from them. jack pulled away as he looked at the door for a second and then looked back at me.
"...do you want to tell them?" jack asked me, as i shrugged and knelt down to him.
"whenever you're ready you can, i don't mind," i replied which caused jack to kiss me one last time before he yawned again, making me laugh softly, knowing that eben would slap me if he heard me up this late.
"go to sleep seavey," he stated, closing the lamp next to him and falling under the sheets as i climbed onto the right side of the bed.
"goodnight," i replied, which only resulted in a small silence before i heard jack mumble a few words before they disappeared behind a slight little snore. i didn't know what he said, probably the same thing, as i clicked my pen and closed my journal, clicking off the lamp and went to sleep.
he kissed me first.
but this time i know he liked it too.