"i'm sorry"// daniel seavey

part forty three

everyone starts to leave in their cars. me n daniel are the last ones.

daniel: so that kiss?
alex: what about it?
daniel: what does that mean for us
alex: anything you want. we've been knew that we both have feelings for each other just my past made us not do anything.
daniel: so you want us to be something more then friends?
alex: of course. do you feel the same
daniel: yeah
alex: well
daniel: yeah

he lays his hand on my thigh. i tense up but he runs his thumb across my skin

daniel: you okay
alex: yeah always wit you
daniel: what does this mean
alex: for us?
daniel: yeah.
alex: i don't know.
daniel: all i know is that i wanna be wit you.
alex: i wanna be wit you too
daniel: this isn't my way of asking just letting you know.
alex: oh okay.

i just stay silent. i'm thinking

is this bad that i wasn't thinking bout corey just now?

daniel: are you okay?
alex: is it bad that i wasn't crying over corey just now?
daniel: no that's not bad. n corey wouldn't want us to be sad bout. i bet he's mooning everyone he's seeing up there
alex: typical corey
daniel: don't guilt yourself into being happy. corey wants to see you happy. n he's so proud of you
alex: yeah i guess. thank you.
daniel: i miss him
alex: i really do. he was the one who was always rooting for us
daniel: what did you mean?
alex: he kept telling me that he wants us to get together. n says that we would be cute n that i shouldn't deny my feelings for you n same wit you
daniel: he was our hype man
alex: he always was

a tear falls down my cheek n daniel wipes it.

daniel: we all miss him
alex: it's hard
daniel: it really is but corey is looking out for us so stop being sad or he'll make something bad happen
alex: okay okay okay
daniel: good. hey you're graduating college. you got your dream job. our photographer. you found more best friends n live right next to them.
alex: i got so lucky. wait we're here
daniel: damn i want more time wit you
alex: you'll get that later.
daniel: promise?
alex: promise.

i park next to mariah n we all get out. we were the first ones that made it so i grab daniels hand wit my graduation cap that's dedicated to corey in my other hand. jonah looks at our hands n back to us.

jonah: what's that all bout?
alex: oh nothing
daniel: we had our first kiss

he said it really fast n hesitantly

alex: really?
jonah: oh my gosh. are you guys dating now?
alex: not yet but we still have to talk.
mariah: wait until the other hear bout this
alex: not yet. we need to have a long talk n then whatever happens we'll tell them
jonah: so this is a secret so far
daniel: yeah kinda
mariah: your secret is safe wit us

i check the time n oh shit we have to go

alex: mariah we have to go or we'll be late
jonah: we'll meet up wit the others
mariah: we're gonna be on the right side so try to find good seats there
daniel: okay see you there

he leans in for a kiss but i give him a small
peck on his lips

mariah n jonah have a long kiss. too long.

i clear my throat.

they stop n look at us

mariah: sorry
alex: we'll talk bout y'all after 
jonah: okay but gooooo

i grab mariah's hand n we start almost running at where we have to be. we make it just in time.

we get situated n ready. i put my cap n gown on  n now it's time to start the ceremony.

my last name starts wit a A n mariah's starts wit a B. what's funny is that i'm the last A n she's the first B so we sit next to each other which is perfectttttt.

we walk out n our lines n i'm looking out for my family. i see them. they got the best seats. really close to us. i smile n wave to them as they're screaming my name. daniel blows a kiss to me n i 'catch' it.

me n mariah find our seats n we have to do the pledge n shit like that. i usually don't put my hand on my heart bc we have a fucked up country so no thank you.

during all the speeches that are taking place before we get our diplomas are really boring so me n mariah are whispering.

many of our classmates shush us as they like care bout the speeches haha. we continue on talking n shit like that.

finally it's time to get our diplomas. like damn that took way too long.

anyway they call us up one by one n shake our hands n yeah.

i'm next.

alex ara

i walk up. grab the diploma wit one hand while shaking wit the other hand. i shake more hands n by the end i kiss my hand n place it on my cap for corey. i make my way back to my seat as they're calling mariah

mariah bach

she does the same thing n wit kissing her hand to her cap for corey. n she makes her way back to me.

we sit down as more people are being called. soon enough everyone is called n she signals that we can throw our caps.

i kiss mine n chuck it straight up so i catch it. because i don't wanna lose it. it comes back down n i catch it. as i catch it, confetti n gallons are falling down.

i look at mariah who is already crying n we hug each other tightly.

i did it. we did it.

i cant wait until i'm able to go to college 🥲