I'm a Mermaid, Not a Merman

23

If Cindy had spent Saturday trying to get away from everything feminine, she spent Sunday trying to get it back. She halted accounts online from being deleted. She texted Lucy to get the invite for the discord server again.

And she re-mermaid-fied her Animal Crossing Island.

Lucy sent the invite, and asked why Cindy had left. Cindy rejoined the server, and felt a pang of awkwardness as it said that "CindyTheMergirl" was new to the server.

Everyone immediately started asking what was going on. Cindy simply told them that she'd tell them at Lucy's house on Monday in person, and then she closed Discord.

She stayed in her room the whole day. This time, when her family brought down food, she readily ate it.

Slowly but surely, Cindy began to feel that she was somewhat rebuilding things. At least in her digital world, everything was righted. In the physical world, she was feeling better too.

Although she stayed in her room, she didn't remain in her pajamas. She actually got dressed, and she tried to make her hair look good. It felt good wearing a skirt again. It felt good to look in the mirror, and once again see the person that she wanted to - Cindy.

As she was idly watching YouTube, her phone began buzzing.

Someone was calling. It didn't have an ID on it - because she'd deleted the contact from her phone.

With unsteady fingers, she dragged the icon to the side, and answered it.

"Hello?"

"..... um, hi Cindy."

She took a deep, strained breath. "Hi Matt."

He let out a big sigh. "I'm really, really sorry for Friday night. I reacted poorly. I wasn't sure what to do, or say... I wish I could've talked things out a bit longer, but it was really dark out. The last thing I wanted was for us to be out alone in the dark. I'm sorry Cindy... I've been talking too much. I... I just feel really bad."

Cindy breathed slowly, trying to decide what, if anything, she should say.

"Cindy?"

"I'm here. Just... give me a second to think."

Cindy put her phone down, putting it on speaker, and stared up at the ceiling. She rubbed her eyes.

"I'm not going to lie Matt, yesterday was very... very hard for me."

He sighed, causing static feedback. "I'm sorry. I reacted badly, and I'm at fault for that."

"I'm finding it very hard not to kind of hate you right now."

Another sigh. "I deserve that."

"But I'm not sure if you do deserve that. I'm mad, but you weren't necessarily the reason why I felt so horrible yesterday. I've had a lot of difficult stuff going on, and it would be wrong of me to blame you for all of it."

"Well," Matt said, "I'll take responsibility for what I did do. I need to be honest Cindy, because I feel like lying would only hurt things. I... I'd prefer not to continue our relationship."

"I think that's probably for the best," Cindy said. "You have your own personal preference, and I'm going to respect that. But apart from that, I feel like after Friday..."

"Yeah," Matt said, "I agree. I felt really horrible yesterday too. I wanted to give you space, so I didn't call."

"I wouldn't have picked up," Cindy said.

"I figured."

"Though only reason why I'm talking to you now is because Sammy and I had a long, heartfelt talk last night - or early this morning, I guess. Whatever. Point is, she helped me a lot. I feel much better now."

"I'm glad," Matt said. "I'm not calling because I want to justify anything. I'm calling because I really have been worrying about you."

"Well," Cindy said, "thanks for that. I... I don't think that you handled Friday night poorly. And thanks for taking me home when you did. It... it was awkward and painful, but you did it anyway."

"Hey Cindy?"

"Yeah?"

"I... I'm not sure if I should bring this up, but... when I dropped you off back home, you told me you didn't want to be called Cindy anymore."

"I was in a rough place," Cindy said. "It's only been this Summer that I've seriously been thinking of myself as anything other than a guy, though I had inklings of it before. I was doubting whether I was really a girl. It really hurt."

"How do you feel now?"

"Much, much better," she said. "I know that I'm a girl on the inside. And I'm more lucky than a lot of trans girls. My hormones helped put me in the right direction. Ever since I started presenting as a girl, I've felt much happier."

"I'm happy for you," Matt. "I... hope you don't think I'm being transphobic for not wanting to go out with you again."

Cindy sighed. "It hurt, but I understand."

"I want to ask for your forgiveness for messing things up on Friday."

Cindy inhaled long, and deep. "That will take a bit of time Matt. I know you didn't want to make me feel bad intentionally, but, at least right now, I'm going to need a bit more time."

"I understand," he said. "I'm not saying this because it's the cliché thing to do or whatever, I really mean it. I still want to be friends with you. You're a really cool girl, and I've had fun being around you."

"Thanks Matt."

"Cindy," he said, "is there anything I can do for you right now to make things up to you?"

Cindy thought it over for a second.

"Perhaps."

"What is it?"

"Remember when we were bowling," she said, "and I was talking about my little hobby?"

"I... let's see... oh! That's right. You and some friends dress up as a mermaids."

Cindy made a wicked grin. "You think I could get you into one of those tails?"