Here to Misbehave | S.R.

Ch. 13 | The Friend

Summary: Derek has some words for his friend.

Content Warning(s): Spoilers for S6+, discussions of death/dying, age gaps

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After (y/n) agreed to be mine, the rest of the weekend went by in a blur.

I couldn't spend the whole time with her, but every moment that I could, I did. It's hard to explain what it's like to be with her.

If I had to, I think it would be like triboelectric charging. I would be the negatively charged rubber band to her positive silk.

I don't mean to be crass. The friction I'm speaking of isn't purely physical, although it certainly has been a hallmark of our relationship so far.

Each time she touched me I would find myself taking in pieces of her. Except instead of electrons, they were the sound of her laughter or how she sounds when she calls my name, echoing inside the darkest portions of my mind.

There was just something about the way she looked at me. Like there was something worth seeing. She touched me like I weren't just a tool at her disposal. Like there was something of worth within me.

When (y/n) kissed me, I found myself unable and unwilling to stop myself from kissing her back.

But see, that's precisely what I'm worried about. Because if I'm the one with the higher affinity, what does that mean for her?

The law of conservation of charge dictates that there is a finite number of electrons between us.

Am I using her? Depriving her of her most precious and valuable pieces, and therefore forcing her to cling to me like a static filled sheet?

I can't think about it too much.

Because for now she is mine, and she seems relatively happy about that. More than I would expect, anyway.

It had been awhile since I showed up to work without feeling absolutely terrible and I'm certain that everyone noticed. Not that I wasn't good at keeping secrets – I actually think it's one of my strengths, despite what people may think – it's just that I have been in a really, really bad mood.

That's why I couldn't be surprised when Morgan immediately approached me, asking me to meet him for lunch later. I knew there wasn't a good way out of it, so I just accepted. I was sure I'd regret it later.

And I did. Because we had barely sat down at the restaurant when the questions started.

"So, you gonna tell me what happened this weekend?"

I sighed, staring down at the menu for a moment until I finally responded, "What do you mean?

"You're in a good mood."

An interesting way to imply something happened. I understood what he meant, but I didn't want to make it easy for him. I'm not exactly a big fan of people being involved in my personal life. Especially not right now.

"Okay? Would you prefer I wasn't?"

"Something happened this weekend. You haven't looked this happy in ages."

It was important to remember, though, that he had also been hurt by the team just as much, if not more than me. I don't know how he handled it so well.

He blamed himself for Emily's death for so long... he watched her dying in his arms and they let him believe that.

I tried to focus on the current conversation, because as bad as I felt for him, I have a feeling I'm heading for a chastising.