The Fault in Our Stars - Larry Stylinson

229

"I actually got a D on my math test"  Niall said, all excited when we sat down in the cafeteria for lunch.

Ever since we went out to eat after the football game the five of us always ate our lunch at school together.

"You got a D even though you cheated?" Liam asked.

"Yes sir" Niall said proudly.

We just shook our heads, laughing at him.

After lunch Harry walked me to my class.

He still hasn't brought up the incident that occurred two nights earlier.

I was very grateful for that.

I could see in his eyes that he was worried though.

"I'll be waiting for you at our lockers after school per usual" Harry said as we reached the classroom.

I just nodded and smiled towards him before I went into class.

I barely listened to Mrs.Smith talking about the angles of a triangle.

My mind was somewhere else.

I had just known Harry for like a month but I felt some kind of deeper connection with him.

It was confusing.

He made me happy.

As promised stood Harry at our lockers, waiting for me.

His face lit up when he saw me walking towards him.

He is so cute.

"May I take you home?" Harry said as he reached out his hand for mine.

"Yes, you may" I said as I took his hand.

We walked out of school to Harry's car.

Hand in hand.

Our car rides were one of my favourite things that we did together.

We barely talked, we just put on some music, turned the volume to max and sang our lungs out.

It was liberating.

I was about to step out of the car when I turned around to Harry.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to come upstairs?" I asked after thinking it through.

"Yes, of course" Harry said happily.

He turned off the engine, stepped outside and locked the car.  

Then he followed me upstairs.

This was the first time he was going to see my flat and I doomed myself for not cleaning.

"This is it" I said as I unlocked the door.

We stepped inside.

"It's really nice Lou" Harry said.

"Do you live all by yourself?"

"Yeah" I answered quietly. 

We sat on the couch just talking when Harry suddenly raised to his feet.

"Do you have any food? I'm going to make you dinner" He said.

"Oh, no I usually just microwave something" I confessed.

Harry shook his head in disappointment.

"That's not good enough"

"I'm going to go out and get some groccerics while you get comfy" He said smiling.

"You don't need to do that!" I tried to protest but he was already out the door.

I decided to take a shower while Harry was out.

I grabbed a black hoodie and some grey sweatpants and headed towards the bathroom.

I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower.

There was something therapeutic about showering.

Feeling the warm water running down against the skin while processing all the thoughts that were stuck in mind.

Since mom died I had taken a lot of showers.

"You look great in grey" Harry said when I got out of the bathroom.

"Dinner's ready"

"Tacos" I said happily.

"Do you like it? Harry asked.

"It's my favorite" I said smiling.

The tacos were amazing.

Harry was a great chef.

"It's 10:52 pm" Harry said.

"We should probably head out"

I nodded in agreement.

We put our shoes on and left the flat.

We didn't say anything.

There were no words needed.

We just looked at the stars in the sky.

I turned my face against Harry's and noticed that he was already looking at me.

We stared into each other's eyes.

I don't know for how long.

At that moment time didn't matter.

"Kiss me you fool"

I leaned in towards him.

My lips brushed against his.

Then he took the lead and our lips crashed together.

It was something I never felt before.

I barely got inside of the flat before my vision got blurry and I got trouble breathing.

I felt my heart pounding like crazy, my chest was hurting.

My head was spinning and fell down to my knees.

My hands were shaking.

I was having a panic attack.

Because Harry kissed me.

Harry didn't deserve this.

I didn't deserve Harry.

Harry deserved to be loved.

I can't love him.

This just wasn't fair.

Harry kissed me.

The shortness of breath got worse.

I couldn't breathe.

I felt like I was going to die.

And honestly at that moment I couldn't care less about the promise I made to mom.

I was ready to go.

Suddenly everything got dark and quiet.

I liked the silence.