goth angel sinner - dreamnap (sequel to cowys)

dream, ivory

but can you see it too?
the way the skies are turning blue

xxx

"that night.. when you drove me home," he sniffles, "you know how we kissed in your car before i left?"

i nod, urging him to go on.

"well, someone must've seen us because- because they told m-my, my-"

he breaks down crying again.

"shhh, it's okay baby boo," i whisper, kissing his forehead that's been glazed with cold sweat, "you're safe here with me. i'll never let them hurt you again."
"thank y-you, for everything, clay."

his puffy eyes meet mine. he appears so frail when he looks up at me like that. i'm afraid to hold him any tighter in case he breaks. the beard covering his jawline has grown quite a bit thicker since last time, probably from the limited access to razors or trimmers.

still, he's so breathtakingly beautiful. even when he's vulnerable and destroyed like this, he's gorgeous. i cup his cheek, petting it with my thumb.

"i love you so much."

i said it. i said it to him. face to face.

he shoots me a sad smile, "i love you more."

an overwhelming warmth spreads all throughout my body. being in love feels so good. a few months ago i would've laughed at this version of myself. i would've thought it was sappy and stupid. eww, love. but now that i get to experience what it's actually like, i just can't get enough. now i couldn't imagine life without nick. without my lover.

"they only let me out when i had to use the bathroom," he sighs, voice significantly calmer, "other than that i've just been stuck in here. graduation was really the first time i was out of the house. a-and i saw you there. i wanted to run up to you and hug you and kiss you so bad.. but of course i couldn't. my parents were there. t-they would've punished me all over again."

i nuzzle his light brown hair, speechless from the heartache. nick's rapid breathing is starting to slow. i hope i won't ever have to see him like that again.

as we sit in silence for a while, the thoughts inside my head start spinning. he can't stay here. he can't ever come back. nothing will make these evil sons of bitches change. he's been abused since he was just a little kid, and there's no sign of it stopping. no way in hell is he staying.

i furrow my eyebrows, quickly planning something out. a sudden, very familiar urge begins to creep up on me. it's an urge i've had for many years, though it's always been buried under the strain of daily life. until now. now it seems like it might be the best way for me to go. the only way. and i'm taking nick with me.

"okay, listen," i start, "we need to get out of here right now. the neighbors probably heard the crash and called the cops or something, and your parents could come back any second. we've got no time to lounge around."

he nods in understanding as i help him up from the floor.

"do you know where my jacket is?"
"it should be in here," he mumbles, leading me over to the fairly small wardrobe across the room.

immediately upon opening it i'm greeted by my favorite article of clothing. at least i'm glad his parents didn't throw it out and burn it.

"uhm, i might've hugged it like, a lot, when they didn't see," nick blushes, trying to make himself as tiny as possible out of embarrassment.
"you're adorable," i chuckle, taking it off the coat hanger.

"it made me feel a little better, cause when i closed my eyes i could imagine you being there, protecting me. but it lost your scent really fast."
"i guess i'll just have to wear it some more again."

i swing my arm up slightly when i put it on, making nick flinch and step away from me. another stab right in my heart. he was automatically expecting a punch. he'll have to live and suffer with this bullshit for the rest of life, all because of his parents' endless abuse.

how will i ever fully convince him that it's safe to let his guard down around me? how will i convince him that i would never ever even think about hurting him, verbally, physically, or sexually?

"i'm sorry sweetheart," i sigh, wrapping my arms around him again.
"it's okay, it's not your fault."
"i'll try and be more careful, i promise."

i rest my forehead against his, enjoying his hot breath on my lips. for the first time in weeks we share an incredibly soft kiss. i'm just now realizing how much i've truly missed it.

he finally relaxes in my arms, like a huge wave of relief has washed over him. his lips are unusually chapped but it doesn't bother me too much. i almost forget the fact that we're running out of time.

"can you pack some of your clothes?"
"why?" he wonders, craning his neck.
"just do it and i'll explain, okay?"

still confused, he picks out as much as he deems necessary for whatever it is we're doing.

"are there any other items you'd wanna bring?" i ask him, "like jewelry, photos, other memories?"
"huh? why would i need to-"

i take his hands in mine, looking straight into his deep honey eyes as i speak.

"remember how you told me once that, you were chained to this town? that you were born here, raised here, and that all you know exists here? you said us valley kids couldn't get out. but i disagreed, because i believe it's a toxic mindset. we're not destined to die here. we have just as many opportunities elsewhere, if not more.

think about it. you obviously can't stay here. if you stay at my house you'll still get harassed by them. cause if i know one thing about your parents, it's that they'll never leave you alone.

so what's keeping us here? fake friends? jealous exes? old, pissed teachers from our high school that we already graduated from? fuck that shit! there's nothing left for either of us in this place.

you've already said you want to leave and never look back. and this has been a dream of mine for so many years. to live freely, under no one's dumb rules. what's stopping you now? what's stopping us? it's not like they can call cps and put us in foster care. we're adults now! we can do whatever the fuck we want!

nick, i- i gotta be honest... i'm crazy in love with you. and all i really want is to spend my days with you, away from all this bullshit, away from all the drama. we'd smoke blunts underneath the stars, go on adventures, climb trees, and a bunch of other stupid shit. doesn't it sound amazing?"

he stays quiet, forming a small, genuine smile. i kiss him, just as softly as before.

"run away with me."

xxx

dream, dream, dream
dream with me
dream, dream, dream
dream with me