goth angel sinner - dreamnap (sequel to cowys)

jesus of suburbia - green day

it says "home is where the heart is"
but what a shame
cause everyone's heart doesn't beat the same

xxx

"why's there a whole rainbow on your floor?"

he points to the forgotten project, his eyebrows furrowed.

"oh, that," i snort, "it's for technology. i don't really give a fuck so i decided to make something creative."
"i like it."
"i'm so done with school man. i stopped caring years ago."
"well it's over soon. graduation's coming up."

he flips onto his side, facing me. with gentle strokes he tucks away strands of my curly, blond hair. it's so soothing i could fall asleep on the spot.

"and then there's summer, and we can be together a lot more."
"i'd love that," i smirk, "stay up all night, go swimming..."
"stop! you're making me too excited man," he whines, retracting his hand and pouting.
"i know. i can't wait either."

the conversation dies down, both of us enjoying the peaceful silence, and the presence of the other. i get so warm inside every time our eyes meet, even if it's just for a second. his pretty pink lips are so tempting to me, but i'm not sure if he's comfortable enough yet so i let it be.

birds are singing outside, occasional cars driving by on the street. air drifts in through the open window, grazing the bare skin on my arms. even though it's a late afternoon in may the winds feel chilly, giving me a perfect excuse to snuggle closer to nick.

he quickly takes the hint and engulfs me in a loving hug. his chin rests on top of my head as i bury my face into his chest. i could stay here forever. i feel untouchable, completely safe and protected.

"you're like the best teddy bear ever."
"aww, thank you," he coos, placing a small peck on my forehead.

it makes my arms go weak, overwhelming me with sweetness.

"i wish we could cuddle every night," i sigh.
"you know, in a few weeks we can."
"fuck yeah."

we both break into laughter, ruining the cute moment. god, he's pretty when he laughs like that. then again, he's pretty doing anything. he's literally stunning under the horribly bright school lighting, known to make even the most attractive cheerleaders and football players look mediocre.

"little off topic maybe," i say once we've calmed down, "but why didn't you knock on the door to get in?"

"i didn't know if your parents were home and how they'd react," he shrugs, "if they're anything like mine there would've been trouble."
"i live alone with my dad, and he's honestly the nicest dude ever. doesn't really give a fuck what i do, but still loves me. i mean, what more could you wish for?"

"sounds like a dream," nick mumbles, shifting around.
"he works a lot to be able to afford shit, so i've got the house to myself most of the time."
"so we can..?"
"we can be as loud and messy as we want," i whisper, "he won't know a thing."

nick flushes all possible shades of red upon hearing my words. i'm glad we're on the same page.

"how did you even know what window to harass?"
"what other room in this house would have a bunch of obnoxious led lights in it?" he huffs, stating the obvious.
"you got a point," i admit, craning my head to look at the cosmic clusterfuck on my ceiling and walls.

"i like it. matches your personality."
"is that a compliment?"
"yes. you're creative, humorous and just.. full of life," he explains, "and, r-really attractive."

even though i'm used to being told those last words it catches me off guard. maybe because it's different this time, completely different. hearing nick utter them gets me seriously feeling some type of way. it makes me nervous, but positively so.

"thank you, you're hot as fuck by the way," i point out, grinning widely.
"did i mention confident? straightforward?"
"shut up man."
"whatever," he giggles, "i'm very flattered anyway."

i hide my face in his chest once again, just wanting to savor this blissful moment. we stay like that for god knows how long, living without a care in the world. the sun is starting to set when nick eventually lets me go.

"i kinda gotta go home, i'm sorry. they'll get suspicious if i don't come down for dinner."

i pout, disappointed at the loss of his loving arms around my body, but deep down i understand. him leaving was inevitable all along. and i'd hate to be the reason he gets in trouble, the reason he gets hurt again.

"you know you can come through the front door next time, right?" i joke, watching him climb out of bed.
"yeah, but i think i prefer the window honestly. it's more cliche that way."

he cheekily winks at me before turning his back and getting up on my desk. a sheet of homework falls off when he steps on it, to which he whispers a shy "sorry."

as i'm about to say my goodbyes he suddenly freezes, hesitantly sliding down on his feet again.

"uh, one more thing.."

i stand up, walking over to him to see what he wants. he lightly grips my wrist, bringing me even closer.

"can i have a kiss?"

in the blink of an eye the distance between us is erased. he barely even got to finish his sentence. my heart does cartwheels when i start to feel his familiar lips dancing with mine, just as soft and sweet as i remember them. and oh, how i've missed his scratchy stubble grazing my skin, and the beard covering his jawline.

it doesn't last long but i couldn't care less.

"did you really have to ask?"
"i guess not."

we both quietly chuckle, lovestruck as ever.

"tomorrow's friday, so i can stay a lot later."
"please do. and call me if you need anything."

he flashes me one last smile, taking his hand off my shoulder.

i watch with dreamy eyes as he approaches the window again. his hair appears almost golden in the evening's warm glow, the rare light embracing him so wonderfully. paired with my neon leds it creates a movie like scene. or a scene from some rebellious romance novel. because it truly feels like i'm wrapped up in a story.

a chapter has just ended, a grim one, filled with emptiness and despair, and a new one has begun. a new chapter in my life, starring nick as the main character. a new chapter to be carefully written, copious amounts of love and affection woven into it.

he lands on the grass outside, leaving me empty handed with just a shaky breath. and the empty hands shake too.

xxx

land of make-believe
and it don't believe in me
land of make-believe
and i don't believe