goth angel sinner - dreamnap (sequel to cowys)

lloyd dobler - pencey prep

lying in your bed
as lights dance across the ceiling
and i listen to you breathe
toss and turn in your sleep

xxx

streaks of sunlight venture in through gaps in the blinds. they wake me up against my will.

it's too early for this.

i try to move, but my arms are locked around a warm body. nick. he smells like candy and faint cologne. he smells like love, like safety, like home.

his quiet breaths and cute snores are so comforting. i sigh, happier than ever. a few weeks ago i wouldn't even have dreamt of this, but here i am. sometimes life really is funny. sometimes it fucks you over so bad and sometimes it gifts you with the most blissful moments.

i was about ready to give up, but all of a sudden nick waltzed into mine, changing the whole game. maybe this is something positive finally coming my way. maybe it's here to stay.

i kiss the back of his neck, softly to not wake him up. my leg is partially draped over his, making sure he's as close to me as possible. he stirs in his sleep, mumbling something inaudible. although i can't see his face i'm sure he's smiling. or at least smiling in his dream.

i wonder what he's dreaming about.

hopefully nice things. unicorns, ice cream, rainbows. i know i had good dreams this night. they were ambiguous and abstract as usual, and waking up i'd already forgotten most of them. but it's almost like nick's presence added a splash of color to the loosely connected stories. like he made them interesting, and heartwarming.

normally i dream of dull, depressing places, but this time it was different. i remember a ferris wheel, a colorful carnival. sitting on the beach by a campfire. nice things.

as the sun keeps moving more and more light finds its way into the room. i can't even check the time when i'm stuck like this. not that i'm complaining, not at all. this is the best saturday morning ever, and i'm not letting him go anytime soon. we've got plenty of hours to waste, just slacking together in bed.

admittedly it is starting to get a little hot, as morning slowly turns to noon. my hands feel clammy and nick's bare skin is almost burning against my torso. i don't even feel like falling asleep again. i'm hungry and full of energy.

with boredom creeping up on me i finally decide to wake the sleeping beauty. i itch his light beard and pinch his cheek, giggling as he starts twitching and groaning.

"ughh," he mutters, "whyyy?"
"i was bored."
"okay? you could've went up and done something else."

"but i want kisses," i pout, even though he can't see it.
"yeah, yeah, whatever."

i shift around to make myself more comfortable, and nick relaxes again, enjoying being the little spoon.

"how are you feeling boo?"
"a little sore but it's not that bad," he yawns, stretching.

"good. next time i won't be so merciful."
"clay! you're gonna make me-"
"shhhh," i whisper, putting a hand over his mouth to silence him.

he protests, slithering out of it.

"what time is it anyway?"
"it's like noon."
"shit!"

he flips around so we're face to face. a hint of panic is present in his overall sleepy expression.

"what?" i ask.
"why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

i frown. fuck.

"shit, i'm so sorry, i completely forgot about-"
"it's fine, it's fine..."
"it's not fine though! i keep getting you in trouble."

he cups my cheeks, kissing me forgivingly. or maybe it's just to shut me up.

"don't worry about it sugar. i've got plenty of excuses for them."
"whatever you say," i sigh, breaking eye contact.

"it's not your fault that i'm getting in trouble. i choose to be with you cause i wanna, not cause you're forcing me to. i mean if i could wish for anything in the world right now.. i'd wish to stay here forever and never leave your side. doesn't matter how mad my parents will get."

"you're such a cheesy sap."
"you're calling me a sap?" he laughs, "you should've heard yourself yesterday man."
"i was just high, okay? ugh," i grunt.
"yeaaahh, keep saying that."

his eyes glitter so beautifully in this light. he closes them when i play with his hair, carefully so he doesn't get ideas.

for some reason a feeling of protectiveness overwhelms me. seeing him this calm, this frail in my arms, triggers something inside my head. a yearning. a desire to care for my baby boy, to let him under my wing where no one can hurt him anymore. i'm not sure he'd like being babied like that, or even the idea of it. but i want to. more than anything i want to.

my heart flutters when he smiles, even if it's just a little. it flutters when he does anything. butterflies wildly flap their wings, crowding my stomach and my lungs and all my veins. my knees go weak every time he looks at me. i lose my breath when he kisses me, touches me. i see stars when he rides me.

"you're so in love dude!"

that's what my friends would say. and maybe they're right.

i love you.

i watch him get out of bed, get dressed, ignore his parents' spam calls. he tries to hide his fear by smiling. he's so pretty. it's so bittersweet.

"sure you don't want a ride home?"
"too risky, sorry," he shrugs, "maybe some other time."
"alright."

he silences yet another call before putting his shoes on. i approach him where he's standing, reaching out to grab his chin.

"please call me if you can. i just wanna make sure you're okay."
"i will. and i'll sneak out again as soon as possible."

he trails his fingertips down my bare chest, making me shiver. his stubble grazes my skin as we kiss goodbye. it only lasts for a few, short seconds. after that he turns around, climbing my desk and disappearing out my window.

i'm in love with you, nick.

xxx

and i'll be your lloyd dobler
with a boombox out in the street