He called me on the phone last night to remind me that I am a waste of skin but it's okay because he bought me flowers.
He spat on my face and shoved me down on my knees but it's okay because he called me gorgeous earlier.
He ripped my hair out dragging me down the hall by my scalp but it's okay because he took me shopping.
He beat me when I told him I loved him but it's okay because he said he loved me too.
He called me names till the sun peered over the horizon but it's okay because he didn't sleep well.
He held a gun to my temple and told me I was dead but it's okay because he's only drunk, he'll forget in the morning.
But will I?
He locked me out in the cold all night but it's okay because he warmed me the next morning.
He rid me of my self-love but it's okay because I have him.
My pillow holds week old tears deep within it's cloth.
It has listened to my loudest sobs and my quietest prayers.
I despise myself so much that all I can manage to say or do is chuckle.
I'm not laughing because it's humourous.
I'm laughing because of nervousness.
Uneasiness is flooding through me.
Who have I become?
Do you not see I am peeling at my skin with sorrow?
Do you hear the shrieks of depression and desperation only escaping my lips in a whisper?
Can you see my muscles tremblimg with defeat?
There is a beast that resides inside me.
You created this monster.
My skin may be smooth and my eyes forgiving but deep within my soul I am armoured, walls of protection have been raised.
Do not let my beauty distract you from my battlefield of a mind.
My heart is grotesque, much different from it's usual loving nature.
Please do not get too close, I am a creature of pure animosity.
YOU ARE READING
I Have More Than A Perfect Figure
Poetry"Strength, love, suffering and healing. The gritty surface of reality written down on every page. This is a heartfelt message to everyone who can relate to the tragedy of life experiences, trauma and relationships."
