tangled up in blue

13

AN- tw//mentions of assault- nothing actually happens though! i promise it's not graphic!

The second I woke up, all I felt was pain.

I groaned, touching a hand to my aching forehead, and tried to open my heavy eyelids. Even though the light was dull, I winced in discomfort and begrudgingly turned over from where my cheek was pressed against a pillow.

A white pillow.

Mine was blue.

I shot up, instantly regretting it as blood rushed to my head, but I was too panic struck to care. As my blurry vision started to adjust, I realized that the room I was in looked familiar. I'd been here, only a few nights ago, pressed into the sheets with someone else's body.

"Shit," I hissed, running a hand through my messy dark curls, my heart almost leaping out of my chest when I noticed that I was shirtless.

Worse than that, I didn't remember anything. There was just a blank space where the party should've been. The only thing left alive in my memories was Jace, kissing someone else. 

Jace, kissing someone else and looking right at me.

Fuck.

I startled as the en suite door opened, staring with wide eyes at the shirtless boy who froze across the room. It was silent for a moment until he closed the door behind him and spoke through the toothbrush in his mouth.

"Oh. You're... awake."

I swallowed, still rigid. "I'm awake."

He turned around, walked back into the bathroom, and then reentered without the toothbrush. Only a barely noticeable smear of white remained on his chin, and I had the strangest desire to hold his face in my hands and brush it away. I almost laughed at his sheepish expression, how innocent he looked in the morning. He was usually so sure of himself; so if he was nervous, I was fucking terrified. "Are you-"

"What happened last night, Jace?"

He blinked, taken aback by the strength in my tone. Still, I doubted that he couldn't hear the terror there, too, lurking just below the surface. "You don't remember anything?"

I looked down, noticing the slightest scratches on my torso. "No, I-" I swallowed down the sudden lump in my throat, blinking heavily. My skin had been scarred and bruised for weeks, but it those red lines hadn't been there before. My voice came out small. "What happened? Who gave me these marks? Why am I not wearing a-"

"Your shirt was already... I didn't give you another one, cause you threw up," he said quickly, his voice gruff. "I... made you throw up. Because..."

"Because what?"

He looked back up at me, and in all the years I'd known him, I'd never seen such a death of confidence. Such a quiet, sad defeat in his eyes.

"Because you were drugged, Noah."

I barely noticed him calling me Noah, or moving closer to me as my eyes filled up with water. How could I? My brain was only focusing on the worst possible scenario it could. That someone had spiked my drink, and then in the time between me blacking out and Jace finding me, had done whatever they wanted. And I'd been powerless to stop it.

"Noah? Breathe. I'll get Lee-"

"No," I said finally, grabbing his wrist as he moved to get up from where he was knelt in front of me. I dragged my glossy gaze up to his, not even caring at how weak I looked. "Please don't. Just tell me nothing happened."

He swallowed, and if I hadn't been so numb, I would have sworn I felt his thumb brush my bruised wrist from where it encircled his. "Nothing happened," he whispered, and I let out a shuddering sigh, biting my lip so I didn't burst into tears.