I'm worried about a lot of things for me in the future. Like: If I do become a transgender male in the future, how can I face my parents? Why is it that all the boys that like me, want to manipulate me? Will I have any friends in the future? Or will I have a future at all.
I feel so upset about everything and quarantine isn't making it any better. In fact, it's the reason why I only have one in real life friend that's still in contact with me.
Like- I don't know if I'll be accepted by my family...more specifically my parents because they didn't accept me for liking girls and boys, they just scowled at me for it. So, if that's how they are then how will my grandfather act? I know my other grandmother will accept me because she's a very accepting person...but it feels like nobody else would accept me if I ever became a part of the LGBTQ+ community. It's like if I fully transcend then I feel like I would never be able to face my family again..and I love them but I don't think they'll love what I've become.
And what about love? It seems like nearly every person that tries to date me as tried to manipulate me, it's like a fucking curse. I can't trust anyone I see now because it happened not once, not twice, but THREE times. Like holy hell, what is happening?!!!
I have probably only one friend left since most are gone and in a different high school or distance away from me. And I feel like I'm slipping away from my friend who is a really person and writer, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have made some of the best stories with her.
