❝𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇❞ [티오원]

• 13 •

minsu was bathing in guilt while standing at his front door step, cold small hand attached to the door knob. he stood still in disbelief, so still you'd come to believe his feet had grown roots into the porch which he stood on. not able to look back at the quite baffled chanhyuk who shook his head and sighed.

minsu felt so bad, felt even worse because he knew chanhyuk was upset. not with him, not with minsu, not with the situation. but he held the air of sadness and frustration the moment minsu had seen him standing out here waiting for him in the dark. alone.

the smaller just wished to cheer his hyung up, yet here he was locking them out in the cold night instead.

"it's okay" was chanhyuk's reassuring words, voiced out as he placed a warm hand on minsu's slim shoulder, squeezing it gently as a gesture to assure the boy he was not too upset.

"we'll figure something out. maybe an unlocked window? a spare key?" chanhyuk questioned patiently though nothing of the sort came to minsu's mind. his head softly shaking no as his fluffy red locks delicately sway towards the action, chanhyuk observes.

"no, I lock all the windows every night and we have no spare key. but, there is a small metal shack in our backyard. we can stay in there until my mom get's home at 6:00am. there are blankets...and a sleeping bag!" appearing more cheerful now as his hopes hire, minsu smiles at chanhyuk after offering a weak solution but it'll do. his smile widenes once he sees chanhyuk merely nod along in agreement.

"I guess that's better than freezing to death. lead the way." chanhyuk says dramatically, flinging an arm out past minsu towards the three steps leading off of the porch towards the side of the house, leading to the back yard. he bows a little, as if addressing minsu as his majesty and the younger giggles sweetly, playfully shoving chanhyuk out of the way and walking towards the location of the small shack out back.

once the two arrived at the shack a minute later, they struggled with the old rusty door a bit but successfully made it inside, quickly stepping in to avoid the unforgiving cold stinging their skin, shutting the irksome door behind them.

"it smells like dust and cardboard. how long has it been since anyone's been in here?" chanhyuk questions as he turns on his phone flash light, assisting minsu who dug around in the old web infested boxes to find the mentioned sleeping bag and blankets from before.

"a few years. I haven't been in here ever since I was a kid. these used to be the blankets I used when I spent the night out here with my big brother. we used to pretend we were camping and stay up late all night, telling scary stories." minsu chuckled softly, a kind smile on his lips as he reminisced in such nice memories. chanhyuk silently stared at the boys smile, feeling warm inside.

but there appeared a moment where minsu's façade was broken, and he looked sad. and chanhyuk's warmth dissapeared.

"you miss him." chanhyuk said, more as stating a fact rather than a question though it could be registered as both. minsu turned to him, eyes slightly wary but his smile was back.
"no, he's doing all he can in college now. I shouldn't miss him, it's not like I'm his kid brother anymore...I'm 17, so I should be p-proud of him. not miss him." minsu said hesitantly. an instance where it felt like minsu wasn't actually talking to chanhyuk but himself passed, and the air became heavy. with minsu's sorrow.

the two worked in silence for a few fast minutes and laid out the sleeping bag on the dusty wooden floor, and laid down with a large gap in between them, stretching the one blanket they could find to cover themselves. it was quiet for a while longer until the older broke the silence.

"you're lucky yanno. that you can actually miss someone." chanhyuk started with, earning a confused look from minsu. cat like eyes asking him to continue, clarify what he meant. so he did.

"It means that someone meant a lot to you, so you miss them. i wish i had something like that. the only person i have in my life is my dad. and i can't even stand the sight of him. I get happy when he leaves for a few weeks, and dread it when he suddenly shows up again..." chanhyuk cuts himself off, surprised at himself for opening up so easily about his dad when he's never said this, talked about his dad to anyone before. not past friends, not present. not until now. he wondered why.

"anyway. I'm just saying you shouldn't see it as a bad thing that you miss him. and you shouldn't stop yourself from feeling that way or let anyone else say anything on it either. you're lucky you get to miss someone." chanhyuk says finally.

"I'm sure your brother misses you too." he mumbles this last part but it's still clear as day to minsu what he's said. minsu smiles, this time genuinely.

"do you wish for someone to miss you chan hyungie?" minsu said in almost a teasing tone full of playfulness. he expected chanhyuk to lash out grumpily as he usually would when minsu asked such embarrassing things, and deny very vocally.

so it surprised him when chanhyuk stood quiet, and looked...dejected again.

I don't want just anyone to miss me...I want someone special to care enough to want to see me. to want to miss me.. chanhyuk thought to himself

minsu was at a loss for words. he didn't understand why but he felt guilty all over again. it was worse this time. more than before, he felt at fault for that disheartened look his hyung wore.

minsu subtly scooted closer to chanhyuk, much closer. closing the gap between them completely until it gasped it's last breath and dissapeared, the two now joined practically hip to hip, minsu gently leaning his head on chanhyuk's shoulder. his weight and the warmth radiating off of him seeping upon chanhyuk's skin, strangely comforting.

chanhyuk had never let someone lean on his shoulder like this, no one had ever tried. yet here minsu was, easily resting his head on his shoulder, warming the other up completely and the cold winter night ceased into thin air as minsu uttered the simple words,

"I'll miss you."

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