Pain Without Love (Complete)

25-Warning!

Shawn sat at a booth in his favorite diner Los Dinos with his close friend Emily and tried to work out what he wanted for lunch, it wasn't that long ago that he'd eaten breakfast with Mila, chasing his bagel with some chocolate disaster she insisted he try but he had invited his friend out to eat so felt as though it would be rude to leave her to eat on her own.

"So, lunch... You and I... Should I get my hopes up again?" Emily spoke with a giggle in her voice but he knew she was only half joking. They were sat in the same diner they had come to on their first date 2 and a half years ago, shortly after that date Shawn had met a stunning blond called Kam and Emily had returned to the friend zone but she ND Shawn remained close, always with that flirty edge.

"Actually I need your advice on something" Shawn sipped at his water and regarded the woman in front of him, her strawberry blond hair fell just on to her shoulders, her blue eyes, clear as water and her skin pale like porcelain. There had been a time his heart had skipped just enough to give him hope but then came Kam and hindsight was a cruel, cold, bitch.

"My advice?" she feigned shock "When have you ever taken my advice on anything??"

"Well I'm going to take it today because every other fucker is busy" Shawn and Emily laughed easily as she raised her middle finger to him "Plus you're a girl and I need a girls point of view on something"

"A girl? Me?! Finally, after all these years you notice. Should we fuck now or fuck later?"

"Ew gross" Shawn joked, unable to ignore the memories of the times they had come close in the past.

In the 4 years he had known her the temptation had always been there but the timing had always been off and today was no different.

"You're such a gentleman Shawn" Emily laughed but she could see in his amused eyes there was something deeper, a real issue he need help with

"What's getting to you?" she smiled kindly at him, letting him know she was there for him, no matter the conversation

"Okay so imagine this is you for a second, your life, you have this guy, an ex you broke up with ages ago but he's still in your life, still important to you, you aren't having sex with him... I think, but he's your go to guy, any problems, any stress he's good with his hands, y'know? Massage and shit"

Emily's eyebrows knitted as she gazed at her friend in confusion

"He's good with his hands and I'm not sleeping with him" Shawn's heart dropped as Emily vocally aired his own concerns "What's wrong with me, am I a troll?"

"She's definitely not a troll' Shawn's voice was quiet and balanced not wanting to give away too much too soon

" Well do I have a boyfriend? Is it you??? "

" No I'm not her boyfriend" he could feel disappointment in his body at that statement but he refused to acknowledge it at this point

"Potential?"

"More than potential, less than boyfriend"

Emily hummed with an animated 'thinking' face illuminating her features. She was pretty, Shawn couldn't deny it, her features were strong and Shawn couldnt help but think how easily he could use her to distract himself from all the questions about Mila that were swirling in his head but she was his friend, he had hurt her once before and he wouldn't hurt her again.

"So have you had sex with said woman?" She asked whilst tapping her purple nails on the rim of her coffee cup and Shawn could only nod

"One time or more, the details are important to a woman, especially if you want my accurate assessment of this situation"